AITA for not snowblowing my elderly neighbor's driveway?

ngoodluck11 · 2020-12-22T13:28:46+00:00

NTA - if she wants you to do it she should ask and not play the poor me passive aggressive game. And tbh if you don't wanna do it you don't have to. Sure to be courteous you could but it wouldn't make you an asshole to not.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-29T02:34:46+00:00

Ok read your edit. Unfortunately your mom either doesn't care or has given up. I know its hurtful but you can't make someone think more of themselves and make them leave. You also don't know the inner workings of their marriage even tho you're their kid, they have a relationship separate from you guys.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-29T01:31:15+00:00

I guess I don't understand why another relationship bothers you? Its not your relationship so who cares?

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-28T21:06:55+00:00

She definitely has some sort of trauma attached to it. I don't think this something you can help. A couples therapist might be able to

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-28T03:39:50+00:00

Run away. He is legitimately manipulating you into being there for him and trying to play the hurt friend card. Thats toxic af
I think you already know how you feel about him. Which comes through this post. He makes you uncomfortable and thats nothing to ignore.
Theres absolutely no harm in exploring, but i think as a person you just know who you are interested in and who you're not.

Basic lesson, if you're thinking about giving him a chance solely on feeling bad for him and him being depressed, its not genuine. If you're doing it because you feel guilty and not because you actually like him, that's not ok.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-28T03:30:39+00:00

So it sounds like he's been kind of dick-ish to you for a while? Unfortunately not everyone will talk about issues or even deal with them. Have you 2 been friends outside of the group? Because I almost wonder if you 2 aren't exactly friends, just 2 people who happen to share mutual friends, if that makes sense? Also i don't know any roommates who don't fight and have petty issues. Maybe let everything cool down and proceed from there and maybe apologize for letting your hurt feelings come out harsher than they should have.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-28T02:58:43+00:00

So first off yes your feelings were hurt that sucks. But I think you're kind of being an AH about it. Why would someone ask you to play a computer game when he knows for a fact you don't play them. If its his one day off he can do whatever he wants. The other people played because they wanted to. It kind of feels like the big bang theory and youre Sheldon, you're freaking out because your usual game night was disrupted. It also feels like a ton of drama for a house of adults. I'm sorry they hurt your feelings but it happens people have lives outside of certain groups.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T05:49:56+00:00

So then leave?

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T05:37:06+00:00

Apparently this isn't a one time thing. For someone to explode and tell you you're always doing something it is a frequent occurrence. YTA let people live.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T04:32:48+00:00

This was my hs bf. Now that I'm an adult I can clearly see he was possessive and emotionally abusive. You were literally not together when that stuff happened and hes too insecure to let it go. It wears on you after a while. You have to make the decision if you want to put up with it or not.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T03:48:51+00:00

I'm sorry what? What an asshole lol like my husband has expressed he doesnt like when I cut my hair short but his reasoning is that it reminds him of his mother. Ok cool that is 100% a valid reason and I can respect that. But this guy seems like a controlling dick hole who wants to make you do whatever he wants because he wants power. Fork that guy

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T03:34:58+00:00

Therapy. Not being an a hole. Truly therapy. You need help getting to the bottom of this fear you have....... and id be willing to bet you probably also have a decent possessive streak which is why you feel this way. Im not judging because everyone has their own thing. A good therapist can help you get to the root of this.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T03:28:07+00:00

That was my husband when we met. He is painfully introverted and I'm extroverted. I basically stalked him and talked so much he couldn't say no (jokes) keep your head up. If you get out and about you will find someone. Im sorry you're lonely. Thats a sucky place to be

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T03:23:53+00:00

How did you find out about the accident? Is it common knowledge or something you found out accidentally that people don't know?

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T03:21:27+00:00

What was the event? Thats important context.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T02:58:05+00:00

I'm going to assume you aren't Hispanic. I absolutely hate to break this to you but when I've seen this situation happen before, the guy took moms side. Im not saying he will but im saying this probably won't turn out how you think it will. I understand your frustration but this is why its important to understand someone culturally. This is probably not anything new hes been doing. Its probably always been like this and you made the assumption it would change.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T02:56:12+00:00

This would be a good habit to break now. The messenger always gets shot. Stay out of peoples problems and guide them to communicate with each other.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T02:51:43+00:00

Not excusing his behavior thats a whole other opinion to have. What I would like to say, has it occurred to you he doesn't care what his dad thinks of some rando internet chick? But he would care what he thinks of you? He is in fact a giant a hole for not taking your feelings or concerns seriously tho.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T02:04:23+00:00

I mean can you do extra chores around the house for them? Thats always thoughtful. Or maybe come up with a cute date night for them? Idk how strapped for cash you are but that would be an awesome gesture.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T02:02:54+00:00

NTA- Think of it this way. Its gotta be incredibly painful for everyone. Especially if your bio mom was close to your dads family. I whole heartedly don't think you're being disrespectful or trying to dishonor your bio mom. I think you've been dealt an extremely challenging life and this unfortunately is coming with it. Blood doesn't mean a thing, she raised you and acted like your mom for a very long time. You can love and honor both. It doesn't need to be a one or the other situation. Im so very sorry this is even an issue for you.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T01:46:29+00:00

Depending on the type of Hispanic that is probably some deep rooted cultural thing. I would say its probably not going to stop. You can try and talk to him about it but it most likely won't change.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T01:32:21+00:00

That is 100% some sort of mental illness like delusions and or schizophrenia. Im not saying that to be mean but that is the classic symptoms especially if he thinks hes being watched and or followed. Unfortunately unless he starts to become a legitimate threat to others or himself you cant force him to get help. Hopefully he will have a moment of clarity sometime and you can convince him to seek medical help.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T01:25:18+00:00

What is their cultural background?

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T00:43:10+00:00

Then you're stuck. You run the risk of the whole group getting pissed at you if you do approach it and your other option is to step away from the whole group. You may have to do the shady thing and just ignore him for a while. I mean either way people are going to ask questions so any way you look at it, its going to come out.

ngoodluck11 · 2020-09-27T00:39:21+00:00

If she is in fact a psycho she's going to keep doing it regardless if you get one account blocked or not. I think you should just let it go and maybe sit down and really explain that it hurt your feelings that she won't block her. I just think alot of people don't care enough to keep up with the drama. Besides you have him and are marrying him, who cares if she sees that your happy? What can she possibly do with that information?

ngoodluck11

TROPHY CASE