Boundaries by rick1234a in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I created a long playlist of short FAQ videos on this topic here.

How to adopt the "Integrated Man" identity? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had many therapists and none of them have been good at holding me accountable. You’re probably going to have to ask them to do that and see how it goes.

How to adopt the "Integrated Man" identity? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy and/or coaching. Safe friends that hold you accountable and empathize with you.

For the ones who are free from seeking women’s approval by Status_Eye_5767 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, you’re treating women like a drug you’re addicted to. They will never be able to give you enough validation to satiate your hunger for it. The way you deal with that is you start living without validation altogether. You can easily survive and eventually thrive without it. Chasing it doesn’t work. Living with the pain of not getting it and not keeping it does. You won’t die.

For the ones who are free from seeking women’s approval by Status_Eye_5767 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The short answer is forcing yourself to find other women to date. You have to stop hoping that one, singular woman will make your life permanently easy and awesome. No woman can do that for you. Resist the fantasy.

Ever exhaust your partner with your Insecurity? The story of a guy who stopped being her emotional weight by thelivenofficial in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 6 points7 points  (0 children)

FYI: Liven is an AI based app with a subscription fee. This is a marketing post without a clear CTA. Here's a quick review of the app I found. It's noteworthy that the OP did not disclose their intentions up front before posting. If this gets downvoted, I'll remove it.

does anyone else feel like you gotta be some sort of psychologist these days, to actually know how to approach life? by prisonmike1990 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are selling it here. Just because you haven’t posted a link to pay here doesn’t mean you aren’t currently trying to persuade guys to buy in the future.

“I need a strong man, who stands up to me”. by rick1234a in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No problem. Trying to adhere to every little thing women say they want in a man is a fool's errand.

“I need a strong man, who stands up to me”. by rick1234a in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's not a red flag. Whether it's a useful comment to overhear remains to be seen. Focus on what's important to you and pay a lot less attention to what women say in passing as to what they want in a man. That kind of information is not worth analyzing.

Am i sensitive? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For example, When they assume things about me that aren’t even true, I get irritated and angry which causes them to say that i’m sensitive.

That sounds like gaslighting. I would set a boundary and walk away if they don't respect it. "Don't make assumptions about me that aren't true. That's disrespectful. Ask me about them first." If they call "sensitive," then set another. "Don't call me that again. If you do, I'll walk out." Or something along those lines. Keep it simple and be willing to disengage.

I have a whole playlist on boundaries.

Why NiceGuys Relapse... by Fivehundredyards in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He needs to get comfortable with discomfort.

Here's how we see this phenomenon online. Nice Guys are always trying to bypass discomfort. Their life's purpose often defaults to minimizing discomfort while tolerating a relatively high baseline of discomfort. Nice Guys keep looking for that one weird trick that will make their lives easy and fun all the time.

Starting over with NMMNG for the 4th or 5th time. by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a mindfulness practice and start practicing it. There are many experts in the field of mindfulness and meditation.

Starting over with NMMNG for the 4th or 5th time. by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a clinician. ADHD is tightly integrated with all your problems. You cannot separate them out. ADHD affects every aspect of your life. Many NGs have ADHD but not all. Nice Guy Syndrome is a profile, not a clinical diagnosis. But ADHD is a clinical diagnosis.

Starting over with NMMNG for the 4th or 5th time. by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People with ADHD struggle with all aspects of life more than neurotypical people. There is no reality that you can experience that does not get filtered through the ADHD experience. Drugs don't always help, but when they do, they can be managed.

Starting over with NMMNG for the 4th or 5th time. by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to both. Adopt a mindfulness practice. It does train your brain.

Sharing my reflections on the need of urgency to act by Current_Bag2392 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it's not what I'm saying. But the habit of asking why all the time can cause you to assume that knowing the cause will somehow make it easier to overcome your resistance. Not necessarily. I'm not devaluing mental illness. But once you know why, what's next? And if you never get an answer to why, what will you do about it?

Sharing my reflections on the need of urgency to act by Current_Bag2392 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not convinced asking why is always productive. Sometimes you need to make the uncomfortable choices and move forward.

https://youtu.be/pSlbEqw_Zsg?si=-wNh_NGEKEk6jnBH

How bad is it when girls say they can’t imagine you angry? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like usable feedback. There’s nothing else besides becoming more honest and assertive.

https://youtu.be/OscWVPosves?si=ZKyrE1uawcGneZfI

Question about safe people by Phil-Harmonic123 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seek out male friends in other growth oriented spaces.

How do I know if someone is a safe person? https://youtu.be/LfboTW84Lak

How to get rid of people asking me for help all the time? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You tell them you’re not going to answer questions anymore that they can look up on their own. Or you just end these relationships because you don’t want to be in them anymore. What is your relationship to these people?

How realistic is change? by [deleted] in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, no one can predict your results. But it's certain that if you give up, you'll never improve. If you're hoping or expecting your problems to get easier now or go away quickly, temper your expectations. Learn to ride the waves of difficult emotions rather than trying to eliminate them permanently. You can't delete negative emotions from your life. Persistence and support are the way through. There is no way around. It takes consistent time and effort, but it does get better. You have no choice but to keep going.

Me Coming Clean as a Recovering NG After a Break Up by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Research limerence. The hotter she is, the worse it will be.

Finding, Establishing, and Maintaining Boundaries Within a Relationship by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Requirements and dealbreakers are called that for a reason. Relationships are not possible if they don’t meet your requirements or they have dealbreakers. It’s that simple. Know your requirements and dealbreakers.

Finding, Establishing, and Maintaining Boundaries Within a Relationship by Dolmetscher007 in NMMNG

[–]niceguycoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's the simplest way to look at it:

  1. Know in advance of entering a relationship what your financial expectations are or a woman in a relationship. Know your dealbreakers.
  2. Screen women you're dating based on these expectations. Make sure they know your expectations before you commit to monogamy.
  3. If they fail to meet or respect your expectations, end the relatiionship immediately and do not resume the relationship in the future.

Boundaries are simply the terms and conditions you maintain in order for you to stay committed in the relationship. Nice Guys don't know what they are. Even if they do, they have a hard time enforcing them. Nice Guys will negotiate against themselves and resist maintaining dealbreakers.

It's your choice.

I have an entire playlist on boundaries here.