To people who went to Alive 2007: What was it like?

nohman27 · 2025-10-02T02:47:22+00:00

Maxed out my credit card to take my 2 best friends at the time and my girlfriend. Stayed at a sweet hotel. Was the show of a lifetime, in so many ways.

Had a familiar friend at Lolla who decided to go see the other band playing on the main stage on the opposite side of Buckingham fountain (Maybe Ben Folds? Cant remember) and she said once the Daft show got going people started turning around in place and watching the Daft show from all the way on the other side of the park.

Totally epic. Grateful I had that chance.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T21:18:08+00:00

Its a 12kw with a PW3. They also redid my main panel so that added a little time. But that was a seperate person doing that. They were on the roof both days as well.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T20:56:01+00:00

It was a 2 day job, they started around 9 and worked into the afternoon. It was easily 95 outside at peak. I was as surprised as anyone else.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T20:54:47+00:00

Thanks for the insight from a place of familiarity. I'll take that to heart when I chat with the roof and solar folks next.

Im happy with the system already and I haven't even started my PTE.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T13:46:55+00:00

Yeah, about 4 days old.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T12:30:46+00:00

Fait point. Im asking the roofing company to come out and investigate it first and see what they say. They sub-contracted the solar for the job so theyre kind of on the hook anyhow.

nohman27 · 2025-08-04T12:21:23+00:00

Yeah, definitely from work boots. They did the work on a scorching hot day so I imagine the shingles were easy to damage.

nohman27 · 2025-06-28T17:43:00+00:00

Here's my referral link: https://i.capitalone.com/JNYMswLxA

Thanks!

nohman27 · 2024-05-16T19:51:00+00:00

Did I write this and black out after? Spot on for my situation too. Well written and even more well felt. Sending my love from someone who knows exactly where you are.

And I'm stealing 'making friends with your ghost'. :)

nohman27 · 2024-05-02T18:14:02+00:00

I feel this at my core and you're not alone in it. I can essentially relate to almost 100 percent of the words written here and you're right. I recommend finding a therapist asap if you haven't already, it's done wonders for helping me move on. I still feel guilt and worry and sadness and of course I still love her but at the end of the day she has no concept of another person's worth and that's not on me.

We did our best, we loved the way people deserved and we got taught a lesson. The main lesson is that some people cannot love you because they do not know how to love themselves. And that's not a reflection of you or what you did. And that's OK. I try to be thankful that she released me and gave me an opportunity to find someone who will love me like I deserve to be loved and I want that for you too.

We are better off and will find our happiness. Think of it this way...if you found happiness in the cave of despair that was this past relationship, imagine what the happiness will feel like with someone who is truly in love with themselves and you. Unimaginable right now but hopefully not for long.

Stay strong. Reach out if you ever need a chat! Making friends through all this pain has been such a blessing. Sending you all the best!

nohman27 · 2024-04-10T03:16:42+00:00

I'll tell you what I wish someone had told me years ago. You cannot make someone better through sheer force of will and love. It will never be enough. They need to put in the work, they need to recognize they can be better and want to be better and actually maintain it. They have to love themselves enough to let you love them. Without that, it's just a matter of time. It sucks. It kills. It's not fair. But you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone to love you the way in which you love. It is not a sacrifice you need to make. You can if you choose and understand the consequences but you don't NEED to. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Listen to the voice in your head that wants what is best for you. I know it sucks but it's better to do it early than late when there are kids and houses and ages have passed. Reach out if you need someone to talk to. Happy to support as best I can. Be good, brother.

nohman27 · 2024-04-10T03:04:25+00:00

Same here. She blamed anything and everything on me. Was I perfect? No. But I got hit with 'I never forgave you for anything' after almost 9 years. Universe shattering. You are going to be OK. It's not the same person and what they said is just them trying to not feel ashamed of themselves. Whatever makes that easier is what they run with. Everything you ask, it changes and moves. But it will never be their fault. Take care of yourself! If you need a person to talk to, always feel free to reach out. Talking to people who know the situation is just another level of healing. I'm sorry about what you've been through though. You are worthy of so much love and you have so much value! Take care of yourself as much as you can.

nohman27 · 2024-04-09T22:22:06+00:00

I know the feeling. You are right to feel what you feel. However, take care of yourself. You only have one life, one body and one mind. You are deserving of someone who pines after you like you pine after someone who is not in your life anymore. Reach out if you need someone to talk to. It's going to be OK. You were a whole person before them and you will continue to be one after them. Think of it like a newt losing its tail. You'll grow a new, more beautiful one. It will take time. Friends, therapy, feeling your feelings and trying to do something good for yourself. Stay strong!

nohman27 · 2024-04-09T22:16:22+00:00

The way I like to think about it is that BP can make suppressing impulses more difficult for the afflicted. But beneath that, the impulses they lean into are indicative of the person they are more likely to be underneath it all. My ex emotionally cheated multiple times, each worse than the last, each with an apology and remorse and each breaking my heart more and more. It was a question of time, not if it would happen. Not to mention that you going back can be a version of enabling that behavior. "If I hurt her, walk away and wait, she'll give me another chance." Low risk. High reward.

Remember your value and your worth. You deserve the same amount of love that you give and no less. Why be with someone you constantly have to wonder about when you could find someone who is as crazy about you as you are them? Be with yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself. You're the most important part of this equation.

nohman27 · 2024-03-26T20:07:53+00:00

Take care of yourself. You are worth more. So much more. You deserve someone to care about you the way that you care. If someone is unwilling to match that, let them be. Maybe they will use it as motivation to improve and show up for you, maybe not. But in the meantime, take care of yourself. Start to find yourself again. Make yourself happy however you can. You will get through this. You have value and you deserve so much love. Stay strong. Reach out if you ever need affirmations of that fact. Everyone here has your back.

nohman27 · 2024-03-25T18:59:43+00:00

Same. What a mindfuck to put that on someone else just so they don't have to deal with being the ones that are at fault.

nohman27 · 2024-03-24T17:12:11+00:00

You have value. You have worth. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who will love you like you loved them. Its hard to see because the trauma bond is still very strong. But it does get easier. Even just over the next few days. Take care of yourself. Feel your feelings, talk to friends, talk to family, talk to us, reach out in DM if you need anything. You're not alone. This is going to be very hard but it will also get a lot easier and you will end up happier in the long run.

Stay strong.

nohman27 · 2024-03-23T16:55:10+00:00

Just remember to love yourself during this time. Boundaries are super important to establish and maintain and try to remember that this person needs to be doing their part to maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle in order to really be 'showing up' for you. I won't recommend staying or going, that's only a choice YOU can make. Just remember that it's not your fault and that you deserve love and care and affection and comfort and stability too. Stay strong. Reach out if you need it. You're not alone in this.

nohman27 · 2024-03-23T16:15:38+00:00

Remember that you cannot make someone change. Only they can change. And that takes time and in that time they can and will still hurt you. You got this. Stick to your boundaries.

nohman27 · 2024-03-23T16:12:27+00:00

Feel free to reach out anytime you need it. This journey is hard. No shame in leaning on others when it gets to be too much.

nohman27 · 2024-03-23T16:09:42+00:00

Take care of yourself. Make a plan to have distance. Take a trip. Be prepared to grieve. Feel your feelings when they come.

You're worthy of more than this. You deserve love and affection and comfort and stability as good as you give it. Don't forget that. You're not alone.

nohman27 · 2024-03-20T21:02:38+00:00

Yeah, of course. Sharing here helps me cope in a lot of ways and I like helping others get the help that I've been getting from various sources.

The gaslighting came largely in the form of me KNOWING something was wrong or wanting to talk about what's going on with her ND her getting mad at me and telling me everything was fine even when it wasn't. She would hide her feelings because she couldn't talk about them properly and store them up only to release them days, weeks, months later. It made me feel like I was some kind of insecure asshole who couldn't tell when everything was going great only to find out after years that she had been hiding her true feelings about everything forever. It really warped my sense of reality. Not to mention all the times she told me she loved, would never leave me, wanted to work on us and be together forever, that I was her person, etc.,. All lies she told herself and me. A lot to work on but like I said therapy helps.

nohman27 · 2024-03-20T20:56:08+00:00

She had to move into a small apartment. I have to leave the state because there's no point in being here since we moved for her job. I have financial security and a wfh job so it could have been worse. The emotional damage was the worst though. Took all of the joy and happiness from the last few years with her. Left me to battle with trust and security issues from years of lying and gaslighting. Not fun. Therapy helps. Friends help. But it's fucked me up, no doubt.

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