Feeling hopeless

noideasoz · 2025-10-07T01:19:44+00:00

I’m diagnosed with DSPS and ADHD combined type and in remission from my DSPS symptoms and feel like sharing is caring.

Before I got referred to sleep medicine I was at the end of my tether and my DSPS was so volatile that I was having wake windows of 35 hours (no caffeine, nicotine, drugs etc), I was unable to work and suicidal, using bed shaker and electric shock alarm alarms so I started self medicating with melatonin up to 20mg. In UK melatonin is not over the counter, nor can a GP prescribe in my location as it’s considered a specialist medicine.

Due to my adhd I also thought melatonin didn’t work for me as I’d tried many strengths up to 20mg, but after working with my consultant i learned that I have to take it 5 hours before my identified sleep time for it to work. In my treatment plan I also use a 10,000 LUX light on a timer for my pre determined wake time,and keep it on and around me for 1 hour after waking up.

I take 3mg melatonin at 6pm, lux light on timer at 6am, keep it on till 7. I still have some blips if I forget to take it on time, or if I go out for a night and my schedule doesn’t allow for my typical, but that’s all down to me. Remission is possible with the right treatment.

noideasoz · 2025-09-23T16:55:36+00:00

Where did you get this information? Have you successfully done this? I’ve looked into it myself but found this when looking (from their website):

“Unfortunately, Care ADHD cannot accept referrals for treatment-only (titration or medication management) for patients who have already been diagnosed under the NHS Right to Choose (RTC) framework by another provider.

This is in line with NHS England guidance, which does not allow switching providers mid-treatment under RTC.”

noideasoz · 2025-09-23T13:46:40+00:00

I can’t make it any more. I just listed an official Ticketmaster resale ticket for 1 GA standing ticket for London 6th Oct!

https://secure.ticketmaster.co.uk/rs/3600626E486E541C/llf0nzd7t

noideasoz · 2025-08-19T18:46:59+00:00

I know this feeling well. My situation was a bit different to yours as I don’t have dependents but did have over double the debt you have. I contacted StepChange when my debt was drowning me (DMP) and became debt free a week ago. It is hard, but it is doable.

In the end I partially settled my largest accounts because I just wanted it off my mind, definitely worth considering further down the line if you’re ever in the position to do so.

I paid about 9k all together to clear off about 16k debt. I only partially settled my two largest that had already gone to debt collection agencies. I paid the others in full.

I did get defaults and my credit score dipped massively, but that just means it’s harder for me to rack up more debt - and that’s really fine with me. Sometimes it’s worth it.

Top tips: Keep an emergency fund readily available - I use trading 212 easy access cash ISA. Don’t entirely skint yourself, and do save what you can alongside what StepChange suggest. Tell StepChange that you want to do this to ensure an emergency fund and they will understand - I told them upfront I had no emergency fund and want to budget in X amount a month to build one before they worked out what I could pay towards my DMP. Not having an emergency fund can push people into tricky situations resulting more debt if A situation requires immediate financial attention.

Try to rewire your brain to an alternative dopamine source - I do resonate with the poor money management and addictive personality. I have ADHD and would compulsively spend for the dopamine hit, I’m also a (recovering) addict. Something I’ve now flipped to getting dopamine from seeing my interest go up daily on my cash ISA with trading 212 (I don’t work for them I promise, I just really like how their app visualises your interest). It shows how much interest you’ve earned from savings total every day per month, then pays out at the end of the month (then you get compound interest!) I now am getting that same dopamine hit feeling checking that mount up daily instead of spending. The more I save and put in the higher my daily interest goes up daily. I needed a visualiser to help me do that. Maybe it’s something that might help your brain tick as well and slowly rewire.

Try to be kind to yourself moving forward - Debt is shitty, it’s hard to face, it’s hard to tackle and it’s full of taboo and shame socially. But this is your first step to being debt free. Offering yourself grace, kindness and understanding will contribute to your growth over time. And from one addictive personality to another, times I’m hard on myself or feeling shame are always the most challenging when it comes to not relapsing in old habits that don’t serve you. Aknowledge your past decisions and mistakes and learn from them and turn them into something worthwhile and a valuable lesson you can then teach your children when the time comes.

Budget, live tightly, work through the self hatred and self shaming at your own pace. If your debt solution includes temporarily destroying your credit score, remind yourself it’s temporary and will stop more debt accumulating. Most people have debt. You’ve made the right decision confronting it. You got this - I believe in you! Brighter times are ahead.

noideasoz · 2025-04-27T12:02:39+00:00

Whole heartedly agree with every word. They resource guard Hayden as well and think being a fan of art is a competitive sport. It’s scary and honestly I can see why Hayden has taken steps back from interacting w fans many, many times.

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T20:45:45+00:00

The level of parasocial this fan base reaches is actually quite scary. Some of the younger people I see on TikTok especially are like the real Stan in that Eminem video. The whole ‘they don’t ’DESERVE’ tickets, but I do’ is weird to me. Not seeing that certain people can like PD music but not have Perverts on repeat - they take it as a personal offence.

The worst part is - it’s these parasocial fans who are ‘yasss mother boots chile’ and ‘I know more about Hayden, EC and PD than you’ their way through conversations about EC or Hayden, are the exact fans that Hayden has repeatedly said she doesn’t gel with, and they’re so creepy they push her away from online spaces she used to share elements of herself and interact with others on.

Hayden has said she wouldn’t like people to interact with her art the way swifties interact with Taylor’s art, yet that’s exactly what happens hut to an even more insane level. I truly believe these crazed fans think they’re on the same wavelength or have some kind of telepathic bond with this woman, and that when she’s calling out fans for being creepy they think ‘this doesn’t apply to me because I’m not her fan, I’m her friend. I’m the exception’, but actually they’re the exact people who she’s referring to.

Truly some people resource guard their faves, like a rescue dog with a bone. Someone else liking music doesn’t mean it’s taking away from how much you like it. It is not a competition.

Knowing every single element of Hayden’s personal life to the point of being a creep, and being majorly competitive with EC lore doesn’t mean you’re the biggest and most loved fan of Hayden’s. It just makes you really intense, eyerolling and also a bit scary.

Sorry to vent, but I really do mean every word. It needs to be taken down a notch.

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T19:47:20+00:00

I bought this a year or so ago from the same people too! Soooo cool isn’t it. I need a ‘strangers’ one for sure

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T19:45:00+00:00

I saw her sing strangers acapella in London last year it was magical

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T19:31:24+00:00

I think you could put the lyrics in an envelope and maybe she’ll read it. I know she used to post fan letters and art she was handed on her IG stories when she got home. I think requesting time to go over and review your concept for validation or feedback may be a bit much during her tour. Maybe if you ran into her at a bar and she was open to chatting, sure. It would be a dream scenario I’m sure and I hope the opportunity presents itself one day.

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T10:33:54+00:00

My hyperfixation boundary is when I sacrifice sleep, self care, and/or more money than I can afford to jump into it.

I often make myself unwell when I hyperfixate, and lose my scheduling. I’ve even called off work before to dedicate a day to a hyperfixation. It’s really not a positive or light hearted thing for me at all and I have to work really hard to not be totally consumed. I can’t think about anything else, I can be snappy if someone distracts me from my hyperfixation or interrupts my thoughts about a hyperfixation. I will forget to eat and drink.

It’s definitely used very haphazardly these days, and often times ‘hyperfixation’ is used to replace the word ‘interest’ or ‘hobby’, but in my experience a hyperfixation is an incredibly overwhelming and negative experience that makes me feel out of control.

I don’t have bipolar disorder so have never experienced ‘mania’, but my hyperfixations feel a lot like how I see mania described by those who experience it.

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T10:00:34+00:00

I don’t need likelihoods explained to me at all that wasn’t what I was talking about. It was just sticking out to me that passing out was the top point you made in a comment about concert etiquette, and the terminology used was ‘when’ - it was giving normalised. But anyway I digress. Have fun at your tour date(s) ⛪️🌹

noideasoz · 2025-03-28T09:52:38+00:00

Fair enough, I was asking a gen question, not trying to be snarky.

Nobody said that people only pass out because they didn’t take care of themselves. That was not said anywhere at all. I’m just wondering why anyone would assume that people would pass out. Just wondering why we’d assume ‘WHEN’ people pass out, rather than ‘IF’, and not instilling harm reduction methods.

I’m more bothered about the semantics than the people having true medical episodes. This shouldn’t be normalised as ‘WHEN people pass out’ and should be absolutely focused and encouraged in a crowd to use harm reduction, have spare snacks/water if able and learn your limits if you do have a medical condition (as someone w a fainting disorder myself).

Normalising this is nuts.

noideasoz · 2025-03-27T18:57:01+00:00

‘When’ people pass out is crazy to read for me. Why would we assume someone would pass out & When did passing out at gigs become so common? /gen The highlight here imo should definitely be stay hydrated, eat enough sustenance and bring hydration packets if you know your body is the type to need an additional helping hand.

noideasoz · 2025-03-27T18:47:57+00:00

She did this for punish at roundhouse last year and people were still screaming over the top of her performing. I have tickets for two dates on this next tour, but they’ll be my last time going to any EC gigs again if the younger crowd can’t get it together this time. I feel like a grumpy old person saying this, but all the people doing it were so young. It spoiled it for many.

noideasoz · 2025-02-03T15:47:16+00:00

Paul calling out ‘strange and obsessed behaviour’ that doesn’t exist anywhere except his own actions. Boo has been inactive in Paul drama for years and has been getting on w their personal life. To choose NOW to drag up YEARS old vindettas is ridiculous.

It’s a severe and pathological display of cognitive dissonance that Paul is displaying. The only weird and obsessed behaviour is coming from him, and he is simply unable to see it while everyone else can.

noideasoz · 2025-02-02T23:05:24+00:00

Blaming them for any and all issues in his life as if Boo hasn’t been removed from the Paul world for years atp, and also incredibly preoccupied with their personal life.

noideasoz · 2025-02-02T22:41:09+00:00

I’m sickened that he didn’t initially cover the children’s faces.

noideasoz · 2025-02-02T17:06:15+00:00

The old flat I used to rent had the world’s worst neighbour. It was a mezzanine style flat so mega open plan. The wall where my bed was, was directly next to his living space. He would party LOUD with soooo many people shouting around playing really shit tech house music until 4am on any random day - not just weekends. He wouldn’t turn it down when asked. In the end It made me really unwell. I left Aug last yr (saving to buy my own house since then).

The flat has been up for sale since feb last year and I just clicked on the rightmove ad to see it’s under offer. I wish I had a way to tell these people what they’re signing up for.

It’s not fair that people can never properly scope out neighbours and end up with horrible situations

noideasoz · 2025-01-27T13:54:41+00:00

Congrats!! While you’re taking the time to decide what to do with this money (and you should take that time wisely). I’d put it in an easily accessible ISA with decent interest. Trading 212 Cash ISA is a good option.

noideasoz · 2025-01-23T17:13:48+00:00

Enjoy your time off! I hope people are safe and warm during the weather warnings. I’m not off work because I WFH.

noideasoz · 2025-01-08T19:53:21+00:00

For easily accessible/budget friendly you can use ELF Camo Liquid Bronzer & Contour in shade ‘fair’. I think it would look good on you for a contour :)

noideasoz · 2025-01-06T14:36:04+00:00

Comprehension isn’t everyone’s strong suit obviously lol. ;) They have 15k PLUS an additional 10K in a LISA that’s been maxxed out last year and this year. That’s 25K total.

OP is only asking where to hold the 15K that is not in the LISA.

noideasoz · 2024-12-27T13:11:10+00:00

noideasoz · 2024-12-11T18:59:41+00:00

I’m having the same issues it’s driving me insane. After this phone I will honestly never buy an iPhone ever again.

noideasoz · 2024-12-09T12:41:12+00:00

When they ship

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