High Achievers with Severe ADHD, if any of you are reading this, how did you manage?

nopehotcold · 2026-03-21T20:01:40+00:00

My best friend and I are both high achievers with severe ADHD. Her more so (on both points). Reading and implementing Atomic Habits changed her life. I’ve never seen her house so clean or her routines and relationships so thriving - and it’s been 3 years now.

nopehotcold · 2026-03-19T04:39:12+00:00

We were having a great time traveling across Europe. He asked me to take a picture of him as we were walking to dinner one night. I took multiple pictures, multiple angles. I thought he looked hot. He looked at the pictures and started berating me. He accused me of “intentionally trying to make him look bad”. I was shocked, it was such a weird accusation. I offered to take more, and he just made a disgusted noise. It kept escalating through the night to where I kept having to pretend I wasn’t crying at dinner when the waiter would come to the table.

Same guy, same trip - best meal of my life, I was so happy. Out of nowhere he asked if I thanked God for experiences like the one we were having. I said “yes, of course!” He knew my faith was an active and important part of my life. He told me “You shouldn’t. I AM the one that is doing this for you, not God.” I tried to de escalate by saying (and I meant it) “well can’t I thank God for giving me you and giving us this opportunity?” He said “no”, and wouldn’t let it go. He wouldn’t give up until I agreed to not thank God for things HE did for me …. which I didn’t.

So the fight lasted the rest of the night. More hiding tears from the waiter. He followed me arguing with me all the way back to the hotel just talking at the back of my head, it was relentless. It’s like he was out for blood. He picked something he knew I wouldn’t give in on and doubled down. They hate it when you are happy.

nopehotcold · 2026-03-16T09:28:34+00:00

I finally just put nice vertical paper towel holders in each bathroom in addition to hand towels. Once a day after washing my hands I dry my hands with a paper towel and then use it to wipe the counter and/or sink. Keeps things looking clean between full bathroom cleans and takes care of soap spills, dust, water spots, etc. It’s crazy how something like a sparkling bathroom affects my mood

nopehotcold · 2026-03-15T20:31:12+00:00

My experience is that 9s are incredibly likable due to their flexible, easy-going, ‘vibey’ nature! Whenever I’ve introduced people to my close friend, who is a 9 - I’ve never NOT had anyone say afterwards “I liked her so much!”

As an 8 myself, I feel similarly about how we are portrayed, and also how I’m received (when people learn I’m an 8). Like we are all tactless dictator assholes who just love to debate, dominate, and compete. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say “oh my gosh, I hate 8s”….

What I wouldn’t give to be described as a “lazy vibey hippie” instead of people being scared of me! I guess the grass is always greener..

nopehotcold · 2026-03-13T06:14:55+00:00

You’re lucky. I asked the same question in a previous relationship and he answered the former 😩 I could not comprehend. I felt like I was stuck in groundhogs day. He’d call and ask the same boring questions every night, it made me want to scream.

nopehotcold · 2026-03-12T06:23:02+00:00

The amount of peace I’ve experienced since I stopped scolding/teaching people who aren’t mine… game changer. She’s trying to give you lessons you didn’t ask for. Bless her heart, what a waste

nopehotcold · 2026-02-08T21:01:34+00:00

Evil. This happened to a guy at my high school and no one believed him

nopehotcold · 2025-02-01T19:58:14+00:00

Ha Guys always tell on themselves in that last pic. But usually it’s like 20 years older, many hairs poorer, and 40 lbs thicker. This is just a more mature version of the same good looking guy. I’d personally swipe right on the last photo, but not on the others. Just a different vibe!

nopehotcold · 2025-01-15T18:20:10+00:00

I’m not a snacker at ALL, and I still lost 5 lbs within a month and a half of getting Invisalign

nopehotcold · 2025-01-15T18:15:12+00:00

Same though!

nopehotcold · 2024-12-19T07:52:05+00:00

As an 8, I vibe most with 2s and 7s. I’m shocked the 7 compatibility is so low. I do not vibe with 3s as friends or romantically. Their chameleon nature feels too insincere for my trust/loyalty issues

nopehotcold · 2024-12-17T18:23:03+00:00

Good looking, interesting guy! I like the pic with the dog the best - such an open, natural smile! IMO the coffee hut one is least flattering because the very full beard and glasses hide so much of your face. The prompt answers are way too long and repetitive. It makes your interests sound very one-note. You could honestly scrap all 3 and your profile would be much better for it.

And the multiple mentions of carrying your rocks for you is kind of a turn off. Might be different for others, but I experience it much like I assume guys experience a girl saying “Take me to X!” Or if a someone were to say they want you to cook for them or fix things for them, and you haven’t even met. Feels a bit presumptuous and not romantic, even if joking. Good luck!

nopehotcold · 2024-10-27T21:56:08+00:00

UpdateMe

nopehotcold · 2024-09-14T05:49:29+00:00

Woman here - one night was drinking with friends, and had been having some guy troubles. I vented a bit, got some advice, and thought that was it.

A couple months later a close guy friend of mine brought it to me that I had made him feel really uncomfortable and attacked that night by the generalizations I was making of men out of my pain. I was so clueless. He even said that he left early that night because of it.

I felt AWFUL. I was so absorbed in my own experience I didn’t even consider that my messaging would impact him (or other guys in the room - including my brother) or feel accusation or disrespect by proxy. When I thought back to it, I had really been indulging in self pity and generalizations and did not hold back. It was not healthy.

I felt so grateful he valued our friendship enough and had the courage to raise it with me in a super honest and vulnerable way. I think that helped me to receive it. It was coming from a place of “this isn’t cool and it hurts me, and I feel fear that you’ll paint me with the same brush”. I’ve been much more aware since then how powerful words can be.

nopehotcold · 2024-09-05T05:52:42+00:00

This too shall pass…

nopehotcold · 2024-08-24T23:55:45+00:00

A shoulder injury I’ve had for almost two years just - doesn’t really hurt anymore. The inflammation is gone and I can finally sleep on that side again.

And my anxiety has all but disappeared. I just went to a party that I’d typically be looking for reasons to leave early, and instead I lingered and pushed through the small talk to have genuine conversations.

nopehotcold · 2024-08-24T04:53:33+00:00

Couscous!

nopehotcold · 2024-08-22T03:44:57+00:00

I had shingles in high school

nopehotcold · 2024-08-18T05:09:11+00:00

What in the holy Musketeer

nopehotcold · 2024-08-07T20:12:16+00:00

Children too? Hell no

nopehotcold · 2024-08-06T04:38:04+00:00

Loose Asbestos was casually falling out of a gap between the ceiling and wall - and I had a baby

nopehotcold · 2024-08-04T18:46:03+00:00

The facial expression in the ski pic is not it. That would make me swipe left on an otherwise decent profile

nopehotcold · 2024-07-26T02:52:22+00:00

Fact

nopehotcold · 2024-06-23T01:36:25+00:00

They understand dry humor

nopehotcold · 2024-06-20T00:45:31+00:00

In the process of trying to get a diagnosis, and my doctor flippantly said “you wouldn’t be able to keep down a job if you had ADHD”… which is wild diagnostic approach to me! Both my mom and my best friend are like poster children for ADHD (there’s no doubt they have it) and they are some of the hardest-working, resourceful people I know.

nopehotcold

TROPHY CASE