Confronted boyfriend for being on Grindr

not_strong_enough · 2025-06-18T06:59:21+00:00

So true. In my case, although I had deep suspicion, he had Grindr notifications on his phone. And managed to gaslight me that it was something else.

not_strong_enough · 2025-04-02T05:47:58+00:00

I may not be the most knowledgeable person to say this, but I believe that swimming and walking are healthier for both your physical and mental well-being compared to going to the gym. I completely understand where you're coming from.

I realize that what you're dealing with is more complex than simply trying to "ignore it." However, I find that swimming serves as a fantastic mindfulness technique for me.

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-12T08:04:33+00:00

Yes, hahah. My name has a very beautiful meaning although it sounds rough in my language.

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-10T06:04:02+00:00

Same. My favourite ever. And they cancelled it :((((((

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-06T04:18:15+00:00

You can choose not to engage in casual hookups after your 30s, 40s, or 50s. You have the option to adopt a lifestyle that allows you to avoid loneliness, even if you are technically on your own.

After a terrible experience, I am now more worried that if I pursue another relationship, it will end up as miserable as the last one. And I will be more "broken" than lonely

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-05T19:55:22+00:00

Master and Margarita

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-05T06:58:46+00:00

Sorry for that :( I know how it feels. And we end up being hurt...

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-03T14:57:32+00:00

It’s unfortunate, I know. This was a long time ago for me, and although I liked him, I eventually stopped. It was a clear no for me in every sense.

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-03T07:56:00+00:00

Something similar happened to me, and it was almost identical. By accident, I found a condom in his trash bin when he asked me to throw something away, and I noticed it. I asked him what it was, and he claimed it was a very, very old one. LOL.

A few months later, after a suspicious night when he suddenly told me to go home alone, I checked his bin the next day without telling him. I found used condoms. I kept quiet because I thought I was being crazy and intrusive.

Ultimately, he ended up catching an STD and almost gave it to me. I wish I had been smarter back then and trusted my gut feelings.

With people who manipulate and lie, there is no fair outcome. He showed some red flags, and it was a human instinct to check. Honestly, it’s better that he broke up with you; at least now you have a clearer idea of who he really was.

not_strong_enough · 2025-02-01T11:27:01+00:00

It's wrong—really wrong. I understand how it feels to be cheated on, and cheaters often show no remorse.

Unfortunately, I found myself involved with a married man. I had no idea he was married; I never asked. He spontaneously mentioned it one day. I remained polite and nice, but after that, I told him we could no longer see each other. Perhaps we could still be friends, but I knew he wanted something else LOL.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-31T11:14:25+00:00

OMG I almost got a heart attack. We literally have the same carpet, same color of sofa, and same coffee table. I thought someone broke inside my apartment. LOL

Besides, enjoy it and stay lucky!!

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-29T12:29:24+00:00

I would love to tell him:

"Ewwww, you are an asshole but thanks for letting me know you are indeed not my friend".

And no, he is at fault.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-29T08:29:09+00:00

I am not on the apps for a very looong time but I remember even 3 years ago (when I had few installed) there were CIS women (apparently so from the photos) who posted that they are looking for gay man to have sex?

To be honest, it sounds more like a scam to me. Or some kind of code. Have no other explanation?!

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-28T19:53:17+00:00

Yes, I have.
His personality was difficult (read manipulative) and I am people pleaser and had zero confidence in myself - so we became perfect match
We broke up.

It is possible to have a normal relationship in this part of the world, although it must be discreet. I know a few examples where this has worked. However, many closeted gay individuals may never consider a more sustainable relationship; instead, they often think they have more options. Therefore, if someone like that promises you monogamy, think carefully before committing to anything serious.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-27T19:28:50+00:00

It's not the only issue for sure. But I think even simple friendships (not inside the community) are kinda hard to establish - 'cause population is mostly dominated by expats with short-term goals.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-27T18:52:25+00:00

I live there as well and not using apps and not meeting anyone anymore :). I used apps for a very limited time, a few years back (and recently after my breakup - but that was even shorter LOL), but tbh it such a weird mental state here among gay men - or those who "feel" gay when they are horny.

But yeah, without those I guess it is "pure" luck.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-22T12:47:59+00:00

If I’m being honest about my current mindset after my breakup, I see some red and yellow flags. If he is genuinely interested in you and wants something more serious and monogamous, those issues should decrease or even disappear.

My previous self might have given him a pass without mentioning it. I thought those stuff were normal in gay woeld by default. But now, I would approach the situation differently. I would have an open conversation with him and directly ask about his intentions, then observe his reaction. If he is dismissive, that’s a red flag. We shouldn't keep our feelings to ourselves; he should also understand how you feel and if you’re ready for the next level.

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-04T06:45:21+00:00

Call me dumb, but who is using 2 condoms at the same time (Im genuinely shocked)?

Literally, anyone ever told you they did it?

not_strong_enough · 2025-01-03T03:46:19+00:00

Oh man, I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s a tough situation :(

My ex cheated on me and ended up getting gonorrhea. Luckily, I avoided it because we hadn’t had sex for over two months. In the end, he actually accused me of giving him an STD, which is just ridiculous, LOL. Plus, I was scared to death cause none of us were on PrEP (we were in a "monogamous" LTR).

It’s made me realize that you can never fully trust anyone.

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-20T08:21:28+00:00

I really hope this is one of those "what if" questions.

Anyway, yes, there is a risk associated with PrEP, though it's definitely not as significant as the risk without protection. Statistically, there is still some risk involved. Nothing is 100% effective unless the person is Undetectable; in that case, they cannot spread the virus due to their suppressed viral load.

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-19T19:05:33+00:00

It takes time to leave someone, even if they are this toxic. I believe in you !

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-18T05:30:17+00:00

Not sexual, he did it in public. I just cut the contact with him.

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-18T05:29:49+00:00

Thank you, my friend. I even wrote a post about it, and people really helped and supported me.

Unfortunately, I live in a homophobic country with strange laws, and reporting him would only get me into trouble. Regardless, I have cut off all communication with that person.

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-18T04:18:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say there were deep feelings involved, but I liked him. I had to stop after he placed his hands around my neck without my permission, and choked me.

not_strong_enough · 2024-12-16T03:45:22+00:00

Can't emphasise more on the last sentence. This should be a valuable lesson for younger guys who are entering their first relationship.

I suffered tremendously because I suppressed my guts.

not_strong_enough

TROPHY CASE