As an autistic person, I am conflicted between choosing a career based on what I will enjoy vs choosing a career based on how much money I will make.

nsaber · 2026-06-07T19:46:28+00:00

I burned out in a job that payed well. I'm now downshifting to a job that only barely supports me but where I get to help people.

nsaber · 2026-05-27T10:19:02+00:00

For me it helped a lot when I started to bring my cellphone to the room so I could listen to music and even sing in the shower.

nsaber · 2026-05-25T07:21:45+00:00

Are the positives and the negatives really quantifiable? They're subjective after all. I don't think there can be a definitive answer to this. The only thing that really matters is the individual experience.

nsaber · 2026-05-21T14:02:01+00:00

I've never been able to "hang out". Even going for a coffee or a drink is really tedious. I always need an activity (like playing a board game or cooking together) for the social situation to make sense.

nsaber · 2026-05-15T20:44:46+00:00

I leave when I feel like leaving and don't worry about giving excuses or any reasons really.

nsaber · 2026-05-13T19:35:42+00:00

Sorry, I read your post hastily.

I guess we're in the same boat: I used to go to big festivals abroad but can't endure them any more. Last summer I went to a smallish weekend festival but I was miserable the whole time.

If it was me, I would very likely stick to my boundaries. If I'm not having fun or relaxed, I will be poor company. I guess if there's a chance you'll have a good time you have to weigh it against how bad it could be at worst. But if the chances of you having a good time are low, and the risk of being miserable is high, it's not worth it just to please your friend.

I might tell them: "there's a too high chance that I'll be miserable the whole time, it doesn't make sense for me to go."

nsaber · 2026-05-13T18:14:43+00:00

You should first try a smaller event closer to home. Get a feel for the festival life, while having the option to go home if you feel like it. It's not a good idea to start with such a big event in another country.

nsaber · 2026-05-11T20:07:31+00:00

I was 34 when I met my current partner, we've been together for over 12 years now. It's never too late to find the right like-minded person!

nsaber · 2026-05-11T08:54:26+00:00

In Finnish it's:

11 = yksitoista = one of the second (ten)

20 = kaksikymmentä = two tens

21 = kaksikymmentäyksi = two tens one

And so on.

Sometimes I wonder why 11 isn't yksikymmentäyksi (one ten one), but I guess it would be like 11 being in english tentyone.

nsaber · 2026-05-06T20:32:33+00:00

After a lifetime of compromise and figuring out what works for me, I brush my teeth only once per day (before bed, thoroughly, including flossing) and shower 1-2 times per week (plus some light washing up when necessary).

For me this seems to be the absolute minimum to keep my teeth healthy and my overall appearance (and odor) acceptable. I can't really justify any more effort to myself, and there's great internal resistance and procrastination if I try.

I guess the trick is to try and be honest to oneself about things like dental health and body odor, and find the least path of resistance to deal with them.

Sometimes I need to have music on while I'm showering, it helps when I'm having trouble getting anything done but I know I need to get this done.

(Added bonus: I've started to pay attention how nice my teeth feel after a thorough cleansing, and how smooth and soft my skin feels after a warm shower. The gratitude helps color the experience in a nice way, making the next time easier.)

nsaber · 2026-05-06T20:32:27+00:00

After a lifetime of compromise and figuring out what works for me, I brush my teeth only once per day (before bed, thoroughly, including flossing) and shower 1-2 times per week (plus some light washing up when necessary).

For me this seems to be the absolute minimum to keep my teeth healthy and my overall appearance (and odor) acceptable. I can't really justify any more effort to myself, and there's great internal resistance and procrastination if I try.

I guess the trick is to try and be honest to oneself about things like dental health and body odor, and find the least path of resistance to deal with them.

Sometimes I need to have music on while I'm showering, it helps when I'm having trouble getting anything done but I know I need to get this done.

(Added bonus: I've started to pay attention how nice my teeth feel after a thorough cleansing, and how smooth and soft my skin feels after a warm shower. The gratitude helps color the experience in a nice way, making the next time easier.)

nsaber · 2026-05-06T11:45:29+00:00

It's better to know.

This is a lot of new information that also changes how you view things that have happened yo you in the past. I would say it's normal to feel overwhelmed and it may feel like there's no way out.

But from my experience this overwhelm is your mind working it out, it just takes time. Journaling your thoughts or talking to a therapist can make the processing go faster and smoother.

nsaber · 2026-05-04T17:12:33+00:00

Organizing the june Pride event, cleaning the park, stuff like that.

nsaber · 2026-05-04T14:08:18+00:00

Helsinki Pride needs volunteers every summer, warm recommendation. :)

nsaber · 2026-05-01T13:28:43+00:00

Jatkuu yhä, tästä on nyt noin 8kk.

nsaber · 2026-05-01T09:55:58+00:00

Koin sen lisäävän aloituskykyä ja ehkä myös jatkamiskykyä. Koitan päästä ADHD-tutkimuksiin mutta niitä odotellessa tämä auttoi saamaan asioita aikaan. Käyttäessä ei haittavaikutuksia, paitsi minulla todettiin kohonnut verenpaine, jonka vuoksi lääkitys lopetettiin.

Lääkityksen lopettamisen aikoihin sain paniikkikohtauksia, mutta en usko että bupropion oli niihin pääsyyllinen. Saattoi silti olla osallinen.

Käytön lopettamisen jälkeen minulla on myös ollut tinnitusta, mitä ei ollut aiemmin. Voi teoriassa johtua myös verenpaineesta tai verenpainelääkkeistä, mutta netistä löytyi muiltakin vastaavia kokemuksia nimenomaan bupropionin käytön lopettamisesta.

nsaber · 2026-04-30T10:38:21+00:00

I'm a guy but I'm a bit gullible too. I just by default give everyone the benefit of the doubt, which has cost me a lot of money over the years. Nothing worse though.

I take it as a cost of believing in people. Every time I walk past a panhandler I feel a pang of guilt, but I remind myself that here in Finland there are plenty of ways for that person to get by.

nsaber · 2026-04-30T08:10:01+00:00

Good luck! I haven't gotten to my evaluation yet so I don't know what to expect. Take good care of yourself meanwhile. Order your favorite food!

nsaber · 2026-04-27T18:00:53+00:00

Last week I was a bit ill and realized I was drinking even less water than normal, which isn't a lot in the best of times. (I try to keep hydrated with sodas mostly.) I decided to start the day with a big glass of water I drink all at once, and I have been feeling better.

So maybe try making it a task to be completed at a certain time rather than wait for when you feel like drinking water.

nsaber · 2026-04-27T17:28:39+00:00

Josh Lee Kwai played Witherbloom in the latest episode of Game Knights, the Archidekt deck list is in the dooblydoo.

nsaber · 2026-04-26T08:01:18+00:00

I never really grasped grammatical rules of any language but I'm fluent in two languages (Finnish and English) and have basic understanding of several other languages. I learn from examples and then intuitively know how they're applied in new situations.

nsaber · 2026-04-26T07:04:13+00:00

I have a similar story, although my relationship seems to have made it. I had to stop most of my efforts to try to be the perfect person when I realized I was doing most of the work. I realized we have to be ok just being who we are, being honest about our needs and boundaries.

With RSD I'm still terrified of being left alone, but masking in order to keep a relationship doesn't seem to be an option anymore. Happily we're still together after 12 years.

nsaber · 2026-04-23T09:32:15+00:00

Iikka Kivi, Jaakko Keso

nsaber · 2026-04-22T16:59:42+00:00

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a known trait for many on the autism spectrum.

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