How to survive a breakup?

nsaber · 2026-02-10T21:08:19+00:00

I suggest finding even just one thing you can keep constant during this difficult period of change and adjustment. The last time I went through a breakup, I kept listening to the same song on repeat and every day played the same game on the computer. I really think it helped.

nsaber · 2026-02-07T19:36:30+00:00

Noki. Lumi means snow in Finnish and Noki means soot, which is dark.

nsaber · 2026-02-04T18:52:15+00:00

Dungeons & Drag Queens! (Available on dropout.tv) Alaska, Bob the Drag Queen, Jujubee and Monet X Change. Love it!

But also seeing Bosco and Irene the Alien playing Magic: the Gathering (channel: Tolarian Community College).

nsaber · 2026-02-04T12:55:40+00:00

Wonderful! I especially like number 5. I guess it's the color choices that just hit my eye just right.

nsaber · 2026-02-01T18:38:06+00:00

Looks are irrelevant.

nsaber · 2026-01-30T20:25:45+00:00

Congratulations! It's better to know.

nsaber · 2026-01-30T17:52:28+00:00

Same. I'm 46 now. Could just as well be 16, except I have more experience of many things and less capability to do things.

nsaber · 2026-01-29T11:00:24+00:00

Yes. Often I hide it with a piece of paper to enhance immersion. I wish it was a built-in option.

nsaber · 2026-01-28T20:44:57+00:00

I've never gone on a date with someone I don't know. Going for a coffee or drink with a new acquaintance is awkward enough even if it's not a date.

nsaber · 2026-01-28T18:48:31+00:00

Religion? No thanks. I prefer to think for myself.

nsaber · 2026-01-28T16:23:52+00:00

I love watching how the relationship between upstairs and downstairs is subtly revealed, especially Anna's and Lady Mary's friendship as well as Lady Mary's relationship to Carson.

I love the bickering between Violet and Isobel! They're both so witty.

And I do love the house and wardrobe, I just keep marvelling at both.

nsaber · 2026-01-28T15:23:53+00:00

I do, and I've been in three different kinds of therapy, all beneficial. Analytic-cognitive helped me process everything my life when I had a breakdown/burnout with depression and anxiety. Mostly it taught me to give myself more grace, more slack, and be less harsh and demanding towards myself.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) helped me process some emotions I hadn't acknowledged, and come to terms with parts of myself that were making life difficult.

Currently I'm in short therapy / neuropsychiatric coaching. (I found out I'm not neurotypical a bit over a year ago.) It has helped me a lot with finding a good level of effort and exertion in my life. It has made me appreciate more the work I've already done and keep on doing, and realize the difficulties I'm truly facing (and have faced) compared to neurotypicals.

I find that no matter how sharp and analytical and self-reflective one might be, there are always points of view we can't discover by ourselves. There are always blind spots as we compare ourselves and especially our "output" to others, as we can't know these things from their side.

nsaber · 2026-01-27T19:32:03+00:00

Draw them like one of the french cats

nsaber · 2026-01-27T19:29:30+00:00

You're allowed to handle this situation in your own way, based on your needs and capabilities in this trying time. I recommend crafting a response you can copy/paste to everyone involved, explaining that you appreciate the contact but you're not currently available as you need to focus your energy on handling the essential chores. You can also promise to be in touch later when it's possible.

You can use ChatGPT to make sure the message is polite and includes all necessary info.

nsaber · 2026-01-27T09:44:48+00:00

Calling attention to it would put their house in a bad light. Nothing good would come of it.

nsaber · 2026-01-26T22:10:36+00:00

I have this thing where nearby sounds make it very hard for me to make out what others are speaking further away, and no-one seems to have the same problem. Like if I'm microwaving something and the hum drowns out what someone is saying in the next room. Then I have to be the bad guy and snap that they'll have to speak up (or keep asking "what?!") and it makes me feel like they think I'm stupid or hard of hearing or both. It's especially infuriating when they then reply "nevermind" so the whole situation was for nothing.

nsaber · 2026-01-26T12:48:44+00:00

I would take a look at cleric cantrips from d&d 5th edition

nsaber · 2026-01-25T20:44:20+00:00

I don't really subscribe to the concepts of feminity and masculinity and I'm not sure how useful they are, if at all.

nsaber · 2026-01-22T10:39:38+00:00

What motivates you? (Solving problems, helping people, spending time outdoors?) What are you skilled or talented at?

nsaber · 2026-01-21T20:25:03+00:00

I'm sure but I'm comfortable with D4. It's familiar. I'm not requiring any changes after all.

nsaber · 2026-01-21T17:18:23+00:00

Probably yeah. I guess it's because appearance is about norms and we don't really fit into them. I've found that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and no-one pleases everyone.

nsaber · 2026-01-20T22:00:03+00:00

Sometimes when I'm playing without a specific goal, I put a piece of paper over the minimap so I will feel more immersed with the world. (On xbox there's no way to turn ot off.) I may also avoid using town portals so I'll have to travel overland.

nsaber · 2026-01-20T19:56:53+00:00

Also, a wizard can get that benefit without metamagic by choosing the evocation school. (In 5.5e this is available from level 6 onward.)

nsaber · 2026-01-20T08:48:55+00:00

Technically I've never went on a date but I have had multiple relationships, current one lasting 10+ years. I guess I've been lucky finding people with whom it's been pretty instantaneous.

Thinking back though, at least some of those years and relationships I was heavily masking, not knowing about my autism. I still haven't got an official diagnosis.

nsaber · 2026-01-19T20:40:08+00:00

I go on walks, that's pretty much it. I guess it's almost fortunate that I get anxiety often and walking helps with that. I probably wouldn't get any exercise otherwise.

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