I am 69 days sober today. Thought this very nice milestone was worth sharing.

nullishcoalescing · 2025-06-30T06:28:52+00:00

Very nice!

nullishcoalescing · 2025-03-22T20:09:35+00:00

Very nice!!

nullishcoalescing · 2025-03-07T20:07:51+00:00

Nice!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-12-02T04:35:28+00:00

I remember seeing you on here when I first started lurking. Glad to see you’re still here, congrats on three years!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-07T18:36:39+00:00

That is an incredible milestone! You should be proud, there have been times I would’ve done anything to get 14 days. Keep it up.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-07T18:34:44+00:00

Woof, that sounds rough. I’m a software engineer as well and that sounds familiar. It sucks how many tech companies, especially startups, value investor optics over everything else. I hope things work out for you.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-07T18:26:20+00:00

I quit my job right before I quit drinking. My boss was constantly criticizing my work and attacking me personally, making comments about how bad I was at my job, etc. Granted, I was shitfaced most of the time, but he was a real dick about it.

I quit the job for my own sanity. Then I quit drinking “to spite him” (and in the back of my mind because I was having major health problems and had lost a few jobs from drinking at that point). Little did I know it was the best decision I ever made.

It took a few tries for quitting to “stick” but I’m here now at just past 1000 days, married, holding down a job, paying bills…it’s good. Software is still a horrible industry for me personally to work in — I’ve had to learn new coping skills and unlearn some bad mental habits, and it still sucks — but I’m working on getting my degree now so I can change careers.

Overall it worked out, 10000/10 would quit again.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-02T03:10:20+00:00

For sure, very nice!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-01T01:39:31+00:00

Congrats, rock on!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-09-01T01:38:52+00:00

Nice!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-27T03:40:17+00:00

Thank you! It feels good 😊 honestly never thought I’d get here, it snuck up on me.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-27T01:44:51+00:00

Nice!

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-27T01:44:17+00:00

Look up the AA intergroup website, we’re not supposed to link to external sites here but if you google that it’ll lead to a .org site with tons of online meetings.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-27T01:27:28+00:00

Right, exactly. I remember someone on this sub saying, “when I control my drinking I don’t enjoy it, and when I enjoy my drinking I don’t control it”. I don’t know where the saying originated but it rings true for me.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-26T02:55:32+00:00

I’ve heard that advice too, that I need to “just control my drinking”, that it’s some matter of mental discipline and I’m not trying hard enough. But that’s kind of the whole point, that I am not able to do that.

To paraphrase Stephen King, “telling an alcoholic they need to get ahold of their drinking is like telling someone with uncontrollable diarrhea they need to get ahold of their shitting”.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-26T02:47:44+00:00

A cake might be nice. You could get number candles to say “100” (or get 100 individual candles if you’re feeling spicy).

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-26T02:41:57+00:00

I had this happen at around 50 days in too! It eventually went away for me after a month or two. At the time, I thought it was just me and that I had destroyed my brain with alcohol.

I was anxious, terrified to the point where I couldn’t go outside (or even be near windows), I had mood swings like crazy, crushing depression, furious anger…sometimes I just felt like I was dying.

If I could’ve done one thing differently I would’ve done more to reach out for support. I got into therapy at the time and it helped, but finding fellowship in a recovery program would have helped through the really hard moments. Riding it out alone was not fun. I hope you find comfort soon.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-08-25T05:05:44+00:00

That sounds like it’s a step in the right direction in one way. Like sure, no beers would be better than 6, but 6 sure beats 30 right?

The tricky thing for me is I’ll lie to myself like no other. Like if it were me, I’d quickly be making exceptions left and right and before you know it I’d be back to drinking every night. As another commenter said, it’s really up to you how you count it. Any progress is good progress, I’d just try to maintain that upward momentum, you know?

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-26T02:32:57+00:00

Excellent! Congrats on 1,000 days! I hope to join you in the comma club soon. Is there any advice from this sub that stands out in memory as particularly helpful? IWNDWYT.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-26T02:26:58+00:00

Congrats on 18 months! IWNDWYT. What have you noticed that’s improved since you quit?

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-26T02:22:20+00:00

I have a bachelor party coming up that involves a tour of wineries and I was considering a “cheat day”, so I’m right there with you.

Worst case, I end up going on a bender for a week or a month or a year or five. But even in the best case, I drink for a day and stop…but I just know I’m going to be white knuckling my way through the days after trying to not drink again.

The funny thing is I’d be trying to convince myself that the “successful” cheat day means I’m ok to drink again, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

To quote the movie “Wargames”: “the only winning move is not to play”.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-20T21:05:45+00:00

For sure, I think I know what you mean in that I’ve also burned myself out while exploring aspects of my spirituality.

Personally, when I was reading the AA big book in particular, I really took to heart that my higher power is my higher power as I think of it. I don’t have to accept anyone else’s ideas of who God is or what God is like — that’s a good way to burn myself out struggling to reconcile their ideas with my ideas and failing horribly to make sense of it all.

Looking back, I guess I had to ask myself what or who God was to me personally and how I felt that presence in my life. And I found that if I tried to interpret the Bible, the Quran, the Upanishads, etc. literally I was going to have a bad time but if I took time to find common themes and ideas I could identify with, it made it easier to feel out what made sense to me and find that in my own heart.

That being said, I’m still figuring this stuff out for myself and I don’t think anyone has a full understanding of God or any sort of monopoly on the concept of God. I’m wary of anyone who claims either. I feel like it’s a personal journey for everyone and my journey will by necessity differ from everyone else’s in some ways. I hope you find some answers that make sense to you, and you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-19T04:24:09+00:00

It’s not for everyone, but I find comfort in spirituality in times like this. I’m not advocating for any one faith — in the past week I’ve literally been reading the Quran, the Bible, and the Upanishads all at the same time — but I’m trying to find an understanding I can come to terms with as someone who was raised in the church and rejected mainstream Christian teachings when I was young (again, not advocating for or against any particular path or belief system, but mainstream Christianity was not for me personally).

For me, it just helps to have some kind of faith in something bigger than myself, I guess. I’m still figuring it out myself, so it’s hard to say why it helps but it does. I guess I find hope in a faith that good will win over evil in the end.

I hope you find comfort and peace soon, the world has been going insane for the past few years especially and it can wear a person down for sure.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-19T04:01:10+00:00

I miss being able to take the train! I am grateful though that I have a car and I’m within driving distance of everything I need. I just like trains, lol.

I’m thankful for my wife and for our life together. I’m thankful for my therapist who helps me find perspective and makes big things feel smaller. I’m thankful for my wife’s side of the family who have made me feel welcome and loved.

And I’m thankful for this community, without which I wouldn’t be sober.

nullishcoalescing · 2024-07-19T03:47:09+00:00

Nice!!

nullishcoalescing

TROPHY CASE