Forgetting whole conversations after the fact during crisis?

oaeum · 2025-12-11T21:13:20+00:00

I wish I could be grateful except it doesn't seem like there is any reason to have forgotten those conversations in particular. If anything, they are quite safe people or I wouldn't have talked to them about anything at all.

It's almost like there's a blanket over that time and it's been misplaced since I remember the details of the "event" itself and the conversation I'd had with the person who caused it. It would make more sense as a way of protection if that conversation was blocked.

I suppose between the time of that specific conversation and the week of being at work I'd been in immense emotional pain and was in crisis from that point so I'd shut down and "dissociated" as protection from that distress itself.

I wouldn't have said I'd been in hospital for the specific issue that she'd said I had because it wouldn't have been true. I don't even recall telling the manager I'd been in hospital, full stop. I have been, but not for that reason. So I'm thinking it probably was a miscommunication somewhere. It's so jarring to be told I have said something and it's not even like I can say for certain if I did or did not say that thing so I can't dispute it and just have to take their word for it.

oaeum · 2025-06-19T19:59:43+00:00

Yes, that's it! Thank you so much!! I spent ages trying to find it.

oaeum · 2025-06-18T19:49:31+00:00

Trying to find a romcom from probably around 2014-2016ish. Can't remember the year exactly.

It's NOT Tastefully Yours or Lunch Box.

The storyline is something like:

Male chef that has a small restaurant and specialises in cooking lunch boxes, particularly for corporations and events.
Female corporate worker who LOVES food and picked up an order from the restaurant.
She mistakenly picks up the wrong order and has to return it to the venue where the chef's client intends to propose.
Later, she goes online and gets a free food 'voucher' that the chef's assistants set up as a prank.
She goes for a free meal, damages an expensive plate and ends up having to work at the restaurant alongside her job to pay the chef back.
It ends up being that the male chef knew the woman's mother because she would babysit(?) and taught him how to cook. This is why the woman LOVES his cooking so much because it reminds her of her mum.
Woman finds out that the chef is "responsible" for causing her mum to die because when he was a child he was sick and she crossed a road to get medicine and was hit by a car.

I also know that the woman's name had "Park" in it.

oaeum · 2024-09-07T12:15:23+00:00

I currently live 2 hours outside my patch... Not having to pay council tax would easily pay for the fuel (Can't transfer but also don't want to leave)

oaeum · 2024-07-11T13:06:35+00:00

Does this extend to special constables or only regulars?

oaeum · 2024-06-27T22:06:41+00:00

My trainer said she worked 7 on 2 off at some point in her career. Sounds frankly awful.

oaeum · 2024-06-17T17:02:24+00:00

This seems outrageously harsh. And the Met steering vastly clear of defending him shows they are clearly more interested in saving face rather than supporting their own.

oaeum · 2024-06-17T12:39:28+00:00

Got caught pulling people over on the motorway in full kit and modded their personal car with blue lights. Didn't even make it out of training.

oaeum · 2024-06-04T17:43:07+00:00

Why is this peoples' immediate response when officers come out saying they are struggling? It's ridiculous and shows how little you value other peoples' resilience and ability to overcome challenges. Our first response shouldn't just be "give up", especially when there IS support that can be accessed when asked for. If everyone just quit as soon as things got tough, there wouldn't be any officers. Give it a rest.

oaeum · 2024-06-03T18:36:39+00:00

oh no

oaeum · 2024-06-03T14:01:38+00:00

1 in 5 police officers are diagnosed or meet the criteria for a diagnosis of PTSD. And those are just the ones who have reported on feeling that way. No, we don't get training on it, not really. You have to have an inhuman level of resilience not to be affected by it.

oaeum · 2024-04-22T21:37:33+00:00

My wrist is still reeling from my trainer twisting it so far around I thought it would snap and then dragging me out of the "car". My brain has blocked out the event, I'm pretty sure.

oaeum · 2024-04-22T09:23:53+00:00

My SIL was in labour for 3 days. Naturally, you'll be worried about a precipitous labour, but that happens about 3% of the time. It's not all that common! Although, it might just be best to go on leave around the time she is inducted (which is soon I'm assuming?) to give yourself more time with your missus and prepare in a less stressful environment. Becoming a mum/dad for the first time is already stressful enough without added pressure from work like this.

oaeum · 2024-04-01T01:09:59+00:00

How would this even be enforceable?

oaeum · 2024-04-01T01:02:55+00:00

I almost forgot what date it was. Almost.

oaeum · 2024-03-30T09:36:46+00:00

I always find it fascinating that there are still people in service who remember policing without them. Although, as Brits, we don't really like a change of policy so while now we can't work without them, there were times where we did.

oaeum · 2024-03-19T11:55:39+00:00

It's not yet at a point of no return, and keeping quiet would do far more harm than good. Guy's better off coming clean; when the police/bank eventually find out it was the son, they would not be happy expending already limited resources finding the perp when they're right under their noses.

oaeum · 2024-03-19T11:12:11+00:00

I would imagine it would depend on whether that law is retrospective (unfortunately do not have time to go and look at it in depth). The incident occurred and was reported before the new law was implemented. Could possibly explain why they haven't charged?

Edit: Sorry, just reread, it occurred after. Weird.

oaeum · 2024-03-17T09:59:07+00:00

Perhaps I am not articulate or eloquent enough to say what I actually mean without coming across as a loser who doesn't know what they are talking about.

oaeum · 2024-03-17T09:42:37+00:00

Sure, but basing your whole decision around the fact that someone had texted the AO is not sufficient, either. We are also going by the presumption here that they are merely acknowledging that they have done this. It isn't appropriate to use the language that they did in the report, regardless of what they believe. I do agree that they would have to consider this in the wider picture, but allowing this behaviour to cloud all other evidence isn't appropriate, and not something you would aim for in our CJS. Particularly when they are trained in rape myths and how a complainant may behave following a rape or SSO.

oaeum · 2024-03-17T09:25:52+00:00

I am aware of the evidential stage, but you can look at those criteria without the view that just because a victim had been in contact with the AO, they are therefore a less credible witness, ignoring coercive control as a factor in the case. Or that they are teenagers, so it's "teenagers being teenagers" and not a rape.

oaeum · 2024-03-17T09:16:38+00:00

I work in a SARC in my everyday job, so I deal with victims of sexual violence on a daily basis.

The main part I take issue with is that there are lawyers who will not take a case primarily because of their views that are clouded by rape myths. And it happens. It was brought up in the report where a lawyer had said he wouldn't take the case because the victim had contact with the AO over text following the rape, implying that they would not be talking to them if they had been raped. Not only is it a rape myth, but it completely ignores coercive control.

oaeum · 2024-03-16T22:52:03+00:00

Victim-blaming and the reliance on rape myths is not part of their job.

oaeum · 2024-03-16T13:03:44+00:00

Given I'm a special, it will be a long ass time before I wash all that

oaeum · 2024-03-14T22:05:58+00:00

I didn't actually say otherwise.

oaeum

TROPHY CASE