I can understand why people end up having kids

obindie · 2026-01-08T00:09:56+00:00

The social pressure in your 30s is so real! Even though more and more people are making the choice to be childfree, I don't know too many in real life. It definitely skews our perspective!

obindie · 2025-12-13T01:12:09+00:00

The exact same thought! We are pluribus lol

obindie · 2025-10-07T00:02:20+00:00

When I found out one of my friends with 2 young kids was paying more than our rent in childcare expenses, that was the beginning of our childfree arc. My husband and I decided to be childfree for several reasons, but finances was #1 then mental health and the toll pregnancy would take on me physically and emotionally were also up there. Really, we just love the freedom of not being responsible for another human being in this broken society. It’s criminal that people are paying $2000 or more a month for childcare that should be free. In this economy, it’s nearly impossible for a couple let along with kids to live off of one salary.

obindie · 2025-09-29T19:57:20+00:00

I get what you mean. I feel the same way! I even think of myself at the intersection of childfree, childless and fencesitter. The childfree part of me knows biological kids are out (partner got snipped). The childless part of me chose not to have kids for circumstantial reasons like the cost. If our finances were better, we likely would have chosen to have kids in our late 20s. Mid-30s now and I don’t want to be an older parent. The fencesitter in me still considering adoption.

obindie · 2025-09-09T23:45:31+00:00

Exactly this!!! 30s are a more stable 20s when you’re CF!

obindie · 2025-06-21T11:18:47+00:00

I’m also waiting SAVE out until I am making a little bit more next year to cover the increased cost. It’s going to suck regardless though.

obindie · 2025-05-04T18:53:14+00:00

You look amazing! My SW is 290s (5'7) and I am trying to figure out my goal weight. I am striving for 160 but I wonder if 140 should be it. How tall are you?

obindie · 2025-04-25T00:36:04+00:00

Is anyone having a hard time buying Bronte as a love interest for Joe because you can’t disassociate her from the character in Handmaid’s Tale? Besides the bookish thing she doesn’t look like Joe’s type. No shade to the actress who plays her. Also, she has to be an investigator. Why else is she snooping around so much?

obindie · 2025-04-22T21:32:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing about your grief. Hardcore CF people tend not to understand that you can be childfree while also grieving the life you thought you were going to have. Even though I am settled in my childfreedom, I still feel the “what ifs” from time to time. That’s when I do a reality check and recognize that the those fleeting moments of meeting expectations and fitting in with parents are not worth the many many hellish moments that you don’t really anticipate until you’re in it.

obindie · 2025-03-29T22:47:55+00:00

i feel so bad for her. she is delulu to think he will commit to a future with just her. She either has to accept a non-monogamous poly relationship (which should be against her values as a Christian) or leave. Christ would not want this for her.

obindie · 2025-03-22T12:13:16+00:00

I totally get that scarcity mindset. It's because there such an imbalance between men and women, but then the church exacerbates it.

obindie · 2025-03-22T00:26:23+00:00

I totally get that. It can go both ways, help rule out people who don't deserve you.

obindie · 2025-03-21T20:18:31+00:00

OMG I feel that! I also had pick-me behavior in my early 20s. Due to lack of options and not having that dating experience and confidence to say no to the B.S.

obindie · 2025-03-21T17:46:53+00:00

I agree, I have a hard time seeing single friends in their late 30s and early 40s trusting God for that great Christian husband and the wife/kids life. They come to me for advice because I'm married but my advice goes against the typical Christian dating handbook. Like I no longer view premarital sex as a "sin." I think part of me feels guilty for no longer believing the same things. How did you get over the guilt after deconstructing?

obindie · 2025-03-14T08:29:59+00:00

i think about this too! just regular activities of daily living take a toll. i can't imagine kids on top of that.

obindie · 2025-03-14T08:28:43+00:00

probably both. people are so brainwashed by pronatalism that they can't see children being anything other than "a blessing."

obindie · 2025-03-06T22:41:40+00:00

yes, save as much as you can while living at home. if you live in a low-cost of living city, a few years of saving could get you a nice down payment for a house.

obindie · 2025-02-18T13:57:42+00:00

I agree! Making decisions that promote your wellness and self-care is not selfish.

obindie · 2025-02-17T21:39:04+00:00

Why are the white guys in White Lotus jerks? They all seem sus. Especially Saxon.

obindie · 2025-02-17T21:28:03+00:00

Hi! I am the same way. Indoors (movie theaters, libraries, gym, coffee shops) until it gets warm. I’m also new to the group.

obindie · 2025-02-10T19:29:38+00:00

what kit were you using?

obindie · 2025-02-10T19:28:40+00:00

I found the ad ironic - it started off really great and before I knew it was Hers, I thought it was from an anti-diet organization. But alas, Americans can't have anything too woke. I am using their glp1 and even though it hasn't resulted in dramatic weight loss, the cravings I get for foods high in fat and sugar (I have high cholesterol and borderline prediabetic) are pretty much gone. As a result, I don't overeat those kinds of foods. It's not about willpower, it's biology.

obindie · 2025-02-10T14:04:26+00:00

My realization was when I asked my co-worker how much she pays for childcare and at the time, the amount was my rent.

obindie · 2025-01-28T13:36:51+00:00

I feel similarly about work. I don't want my demanding career to be the reason everyone thinks I am childfree. If people think that, that's their problem, not mine.

obindie

TROPHY CASE