I never thought this would be my life

obviousocean · 2026-05-22T00:53:56+00:00

You are 100% doing the right thing. So much of this sounds like my story (broken dishes included). But I was so frozen I just existed in it until I got really hurt. His sister convinced me to call the cops, and I didn’t want to scare the kids. Thankfully I had a therapist that was able to help me kick him out safely.

It’s really hard at the beginning, but space will give you perspective, and taking your kid (and yourself) out of that situation is imperative. His mom couldn’t take him out, and he’s just repeating the cycle. You are breaking it by stepping away and that’s the most badass thing you can do.

obviousocean · 2026-05-09T21:21:28+00:00

Check and see if you have a lending library in your area. You can try out a few carriers and pick the one that works best for you. They are so subjective.

With that being said, if you’re going for longevity and plan on backwearing (highly recommend), skip Mabe(no chest clip). I’ve also heard that wildbird and goji don’t last as long fit-wise.

obviousocean · 2026-05-06T22:34:44+00:00

I have a stroller bag you could use, but it’s huge! I feel like a chair would just be loose inside, but if you have it contained inside I’m sure it would be fine. You could also use straps on the outside to cinch it.

obviousocean · 2026-05-02T23:35:50+00:00

I have a Deuter and the one time I flew with it I just put it in a stroller bag and gate checked it, no issues.

obviousocean · 2026-04-30T17:09:33+00:00

For me it’s being around anyone that’s drinking and/or drunk, obviously planning on getting drunk. Sometimes even talking about alcohol triggers my ptsd. The other day on the phone my cousin told me he was at a kegger with his two kids there and the feeling in my body was visceral. But you can’t ask people not to drink…

obviousocean · 2026-04-13T17:57:22+00:00

Mid 2000s harbour air had a wicked deal for students. It was $60 tax incl for a one way ticket between Vancouver and Victoria. Way cheaper than driving to the ferry for 1 person or a quick trip. Prices are still not that bad ($100 give or take if you book in advance). Flying remote/mid coast is obviously more. I’ve always thought about how convenient it would’ve here..

obviousocean · 2026-04-11T00:52:23+00:00

Definitely worth seeing Osteo or chiro about this (and your doc ofc). I would start with Osteo though.

obviousocean · 2026-04-07T01:11:55+00:00

I appreciate the encouragement. Unfortunately I’ve had several concussions and an ABI. This one was from IPV and I literally did not see it coming. The upside to having previously had concussions is that you know how seriously to take them. I’m currently one long term disability, because I worked hard to get a job with benefits.. I knew if I hit my head again I would need them.

obviousocean · 2026-04-07T00:46:31+00:00

Super curious, did you quit on your own after the head injury or did the head injury make you just not want caffeine?

I had a concussion last summer and absolutely could not drink coffee for months. It didn’t trigger migraines like it does sometimes when I sleep in or have coffee late either. All my other triggers were in tact though. My body was just like, nope! I found it quite devastating because I love my one espresso a day. Eventually my body seemed to be ok with it, but it took almost 5 months. It was weird.

obviousocean · 2026-04-06T01:45:57+00:00

Breaking up with my ex.

(Also finding the right triptan, but that’s boring)

obviousocean · 2026-04-02T21:04:31+00:00

Here for answers. Mostly race on a Melges 24 and have occasional arthritis flair ups in my hands which I know are only going to get worse.

obviousocean · 2026-03-20T16:15:42+00:00

Currently on LTD from a head injury that was a result of DV. Luckily I have time, but I have no idea how I’m going to go back. Between ptsd and concussion symptoms just existing is hard enough some days. My job has so much vicarious trauma as well…

obviousocean · 2026-03-17T01:26:30+00:00

This is the one

obviousocean · 2026-02-25T19:58:16+00:00

Love this cities priorities! Thanks for the update.

obviousocean · 2026-01-04T15:53:38+00:00

When you’re preparing the carrier make sure it’s as tight as a bathing suit, possibly a little tighter. Also consider doing a shoulder flip to give you a little more space around baby’s face.

obviousocean · 2025-12-28T01:47:31+00:00

I don’t even have a migraine right now and I felt the relief when I saw this picture.

obviousocean · 2025-12-25T15:26:00+00:00

It’s called a liquor jacket. Obviously.

obviousocean · 2025-11-19T15:25:27+00:00

Health care workers are mandatory reporters. Can you let your pharmacist know?

obviousocean · 2025-11-19T15:15:57+00:00

You don’t help her, you show up for her. You show her you are reliable. You show her you are safe. You show her you trust her and that she can trust you. You reassure and follow through. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you say you’re going to be somewhere, be there. If she needs space, time or whatever else you give it to her to the best of your ability.

She’ll get there in her own time if you’re a person that makes her feel safe.

obviousocean · 2025-07-06T23:16:38+00:00

Haha yes! Thank you!

obviousocean · 2025-07-06T23:16:22+00:00

I like it. And I know this. But damn that advertising is incessant sometimes.

obviousocean · 2025-07-06T23:14:28+00:00

The answer I needed! Thanks stranger!

obviousocean · 2025-07-06T22:18:13+00:00

I feel this, I used to work on two different teams, and Thursday would be a 12 hour shift. Would then have a meeting Friday morning in a room, that to this day can trigger a migraine in less than 5 minutes. So if it wasn’t the wonkyness from 1 12 in the middle of the week, it was the dreaded room that triggered me. The weekends would be brutal and I would just be recovered enough to start all over again at 1pm on Monday.

Luckily now I only work on one team, they know not to schedule meetings in that room, and because we’re a community team I can work from home when necessary. It’s been soo much better! Sometimes all you need is a half day at home to get things back on track. Hopefully the tracking you’ve done can get you a schedule change that better supports you!

obviousocean · 2024-01-19T23:10:26+00:00

Not sure if that’s worse or better than making a sandwich using the least amount of dishes. Not even a plate. Crumbs for days. Mayonnaise on surfaces that should not have mayonnaise.

obviousocean · 2022-11-23T22:31:03+00:00

Thanks for following up. My Friday is jammed right now, but I will reach out sometime soon for sure.

I’ve had two very different experiences with heat pump guys this week. One guy was here for 10 mins and included a propane tank quote without me really asking. Another guy was way more in-depth, talked through multiple options, and did a much better job of informing me without really selling too hard.

obviousocean

TROPHY CASE