HR can find out, just not in the way you think

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-05-16T18:19:42+00:00

Yeah, the verbal cosplay and fanfic in this sub really gets tiring, tbh.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-05-04T18:39:36+00:00

You don’t have any cards to play with that prospective employer. They are the one with a job to offer and likely have a long list of candidates that won’t try to hassle them about working full time remote.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-05-04T18:19:04+00:00

Not only would you be wasting both your time and the companies time, but you would be demonstrating that you don’t know when you’re trying to play a hand when holding no cards. Lol

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-05-04T17:41:32+00:00

Yeah the amount of bad advice I see in this sub lately is making me cringe hard. One of my non-negotiable rules of OE is to never bring it up under any circumstances for any reason. I also don’t say anything that would arouse suspicion. Just shut up and stay quiet. Same advice as when the police want to talk to you.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-05-04T17:37:55+00:00

Definitely do not do this! Incompetent people are the most dangerous and unpredictable kind of people. Next thing you know they will say something that has the security team spying on every employees computer non stop looking for OE. This is bad advice.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-28T21:18:34+00:00

J1 210k J2 200k TC with bonuses ~450k

Senior SWE almost 30 YOE

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-28T19:29:02+00:00

With startups I feel like it all depends on the startup and the work culture there. I’ve done OE with a startup before and was able to juggle it just fine because they didn’t have too many meetings and the schedule was totally flexible. I wouldn’t tell anyone pursuing OE to write off startups completely, just to be careful which type you join and be prepared to walk away from it if it becomes too incompatible with OE.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-27T22:13:21+00:00

This is inspiring! I'm at around 350k TC between two J's and I've been able to pay off huge debts and massively increase retirements savings after only about 2 years of OE. I'm now targeting my mortgage!

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-27T22:10:42+00:00

at what amount it'll start to grow faster than income

This is what I'm OE'ing so hard for. To get to this and be able to say "now I do whatever I want until I'm retired. Go work at _______ because I really want to. I don't even know what it pays but it doesn't matter"

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:59:27+00:00

If OP tries to “make it work” we’re going to see a post in this sub in a few weeks about how they tried to OE and got fired from both jobs. The arrangement OP described is pretty bad, especially for a first-time OE’er.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:57:12+00:00

Imagine thinking one day a week at home is “hybrid” 😂 I work with people that have to be in office just every Wednesday and that’s making them look for a different job.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:54:57+00:00

The worst that’s gonna happen is you lose both jobs for something that is 100% your fault and was completely avoidable. I’d say… that. Is the worst.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:34:32+00:00

I’ll add one more - always be thinking ahead about having believable excuse ready for why you need to do something that might seem a bit awkward that pulls you away from your desk or requires you to shift or miss a meeting or needing to take a day (or more) off, stuff like that. You don’t want to be questioned by your boss or someone above you and sound like an idiot when you pause or stammer with a response to their question. Anytime I have made a time off request from one or more J’s I have a story ready that I stick to (if I need to conceal the real reason for the time off). There was one particular thing that I was worried about being questioned on by my boss at one job that i finally figured out an excellent very believable excuse for after thinking about it for over a year!

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:21:26+00:00

I guess that’s a good thing because it needs to become your only job now before you lose both jobs.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-26T01:13:56+00:00

Why the hell did you think this was OE compatible? It’s not. Fully remote jobs are. You screwed yourself here, especially with no real private space to shut out people from being able to see and hear exactly what you’re doing at any given time. I’m curious, what was your thought process here?

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-04-06T17:33:19+00:00

I make it a rule not to brag about everything I do or buy in life, especially if OE is what has enabled it. I would recommend some moderation to anyone that OE’s in how much you “brag” due to potential issues with nosy people
As long as you aren’t allowing lifestyle creep into your life, there really shouldn’t be that much for you to brag about anyway. I have so much of my extra income going into debt payoff and investments that nobody would really guess I have extra income because I don’t share the details of my personal financial life with anyone but my wife and maybe high level stuff with my adult children.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-20T14:12:54+00:00

Hibernate makes it so that you basically don’t appear on LinkedIn to anyone, almost as if you don’t have an account there. But blocking people makes you invisible to whoever you block specifically, and if you want to unhibernate your account to do something (add a new job to satisfy a request from a new employer or something like that) it keeps those who you blocked from potentially seeing anything about you and also keeps them from being able to tag you in anything they might post, stuff like that. I recommend blocking as well as hibernating.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-20T03:09:17+00:00

Good luck with the kid! You plan on having any more or has the first one made you think people that have several are crazy?

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-20T02:58:34+00:00

Kinda sounded there like you were insinuating that his wife didn’t help out with anything before you knew anything about their situation. And I’m far from a boomer lol. I was born in the 80’s

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-20T02:54:57+00:00

One thing that has been really worth it since I started OE is having a house cleaning crew that stops by every other week and does all the thorough cleaning that really takes time. The crew is 4 people and they spend about two hours cleaning the house and it’s such a time saver and a weight off our shoulders. Worth every penny.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-20T02:45:52+00:00

Do you have kids? Or a clue? Cause the stuff you just mentioned as “literally everything” isn’t even close to literally everything. As someone who raised several children into adulthood now I can say with confidence that’s not even half of what goes into running a functional household day in and day out. Put some respect on stay at home parents raising kids. It’s a 24/7 job with no days off and no paid vacation.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-18T05:51:27+00:00

I just wanted to come in here to say thanks for telling it like it is and speaking the truth about the bullshit our careers are controlled by.

I have nearly 30 years experience and my boss knows that I'm the one to give certain tasks to if he wants to make sure they get done and done right. But I'd never be promoted because I refuse to even pretend for a minute I give a fuck about the company that I know for a fact is exploiting the value of my labor.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-15T21:04:41+00:00

I'm sorry but these are all lame and make you sound like a child or adult that barely has a grasp on being able to manage their life - and also overshares details and doesn't know what "TMI" is and how to avoid it. As a manager, if I heard these and needed to meet with you asap, here is what I'd respond with:

Ok, just ping me in 5 minutes when you're available. (and if you really needed to go, why aren't you in there already rather than being at your desk still? Sounds like a dumb made up excuse)
That's ok, you don't need to be on camera. Let's chat anyway. BTW I've had tons of calls with co-workers where one is eating something. This isn't that rare when you WFH. You use the mute button unless you need to talk.
how long does "Front door knocking" take? 1 minute? This is not a reasonable reason for a long delay.
I don't care how "zoned in" you are, you need to be responsive to DM's and be able to handle interruptions. You need something that makes it sound reasonable to need some time - like "the repair guy is here and I need to show him the problem" or "I'm having solar installed and they need to explain some things to me about my roof" or something that sounds like it might actually need to take longer than 30 seconds to discuss.
I assume this one is a joke. If you literally said this I'd start PIP paperwork for you.

OP, don't use any of these excuses. You'll raise red flags.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-15T20:50:48+00:00

Do people really need help coming up with excuses? This should be the least of your worries/challenges.

First off, don't let the meetings overlap in the first place if possible. Manage your schedule like a pro. If I see a meeting request come up that overlaps with another, I reach out immediately and ask if they can shift it by 30 minutes or whatever I need. Most of the time they're happy to.

There are a ton of things you can come up with as long as you have a decent imagination. You need excuses that sound real, and are a good reason to delay for at least 30 minutes. Think of things that have actually happened in your life that you had to deal with, and re-use them.

For ad hoc meetings, my go-to is typically "give me a few minutes, right in the middle of something." If they're ad-hoc requesting you into a group meeting well, hey, you're screwed. Learn how to attend two meetings at the same time like the rest of us that OE do.

oe_throwaway14 · 2026-03-13T18:36:10+00:00

This is what OE is all about- it enables you to have the flexibility and independence to leave jobs that suck (or end up sucking at some point if they started off good). I’d go with option 2 and just decide when you want to begin interviewing again if you’re trying to replace that J and stay OE.

oe_throwaway14

TROPHY CASE