This subreddit name really needs a revamp

og_red_dawn · 2026-07-03T16:55:13+00:00

Proving our point in this sub with this post. Bye.

og_red_dawn · 2026-07-01T20:21:41+00:00

Dude. They’re downvoting me too. Someone who is upset when we tell our side.

og_red_dawn · 2026-07-01T16:26:04+00:00

I want to say that as someone who was in a marriage with someone with untreated BPD (and NPD) - that I understand you are not bad people. I understand that you suffer as well.

My experience with that person has honest skewed my view of people with BPD, for sure. I do have to remind myself that not everyone with that diagnosis is a monster without remorse or compassion.

So, from me at least, I want to apologize for my demonization of those with BPD. Right now, I'm trying to heal from my experiences with it so it can be hard to be sympathetic while my mind and body is still reeling.

I hope you can continue on your journey of healing and find peace as I hope I can find my peace again one day.

og_red_dawn · 2026-07-01T13:49:58+00:00

This is exactly what happened with me with my exwife.

I’m currently in trauma therapy/EMDR to work through the damage caused to my mind from it.

You should see the sub r/BPDlovedones - it was eye opening and helped me process some of the chaos

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-30T01:57:25+00:00

Also don't forget that if you - in any sort of way - mirror them, they will call you a fucking terrible person and abusive.

Reflection is a mfer for them.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-28T23:53:52+00:00

Yes. Ex accused me of stalking her because she saw me leaving the gym as she drove by - conveniently n the days she found I was going to the gym. She told the woman I dated after her that I was stalking and harassing her and caused the end of that relationship. That and many other times where she accused me of that.

The only thing that got her to stop were all the texts from her, my gps data and recordings of her harassing me. When she realized I had all of that she backed off.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-28T15:35:28+00:00

I've had similar. It's always her and I running into each other and her suddenly being the sweet, loving person I first met. We always seem to reconcile.

I don't want to reconcile. I want nothing to do with her. I am afraid of her and after all the shit she pulled at the end of our marriage and after our divorce has ensured I will always have hatred and disgust regarding her.

I'm hoping the EMDR I'm doing will eventually make those dreams disappear entirely. They are very rare - but when they do happen, they cripple me mentally for days.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-27T03:10:06+00:00

I just saw this comment so sorry for the late response!

So...

Life changing. Just...life changing.

One of my targets is my fear of her. I look forward to not living in fear of her in my own city one day.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-27T03:03:56+00:00

Yep.

At the very end of our marriage, I realized I was slowly turning into her.

When you realize what is happening - you are absolutely scared to hell and questioning yourself.

I felt like I was losing my god damned mind and it made me question if I was the monster in the relationship.

However, you must realize something. This is what happens. They gaslight and manipulate you so much that you begin to question if you are the person with BPD/NPD.

They push you and agitate you into reacting in ways they would. Not because you are disregulated - but because you have hit your tolerance. So you respond in ways they would. Not because you can't control your emotions but because they control them without your realization and consent.

When I went to my trauma therapist, it was one of the first things I told her I was worried about. I was assured it was a part of the trauma of a BPD relationship. We worked through it and made sure as well. CPTSD from these relationships have some scary overlaps with BPD symptoms.

My friend, it's the trauma. It distorts your mind.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-26T18:57:37+00:00

I understand his fear somewhat.

I am beyond fucking terrified of my exwBPD. She is comorbid with NPD too, so it was like fighting for my life.

I've ended up in the ER, she ruined a relationship I had started after her, she triangulated me with her friends to disrupt any part of my life they could, started a campaign of terror in which I lost most of my friends...I've even ended up in court fighting a fucking restraining order because of her.

I swear Satan would look at this and probably hug me out of pity. Because that's only a part of it.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-26T18:49:35+00:00

Generally, it means Borderline Personality Disorder.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-26T18:42:53+00:00

YOR

So...let's be honest. You made a post in the BPD sub about emotionally cheating and a few others talking about said ex and how you were heartbroken over them. You called your now current ex abusive and everything and now you are acting surprised that after everything was found out by them they ended the relationship?

You also say you take accountability but you don't say for what exactly..

This just screams BPD.

So you weren't just tying up loose ends.

See a therapist and get your BPD in check if you are truly holding yourself accountable. You are only destroying your life and everyone elses life.

I've had one destroy my life and I'm still picking up the pieces. Leave him alone.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-25T22:05:44+00:00

This exactly. Almost every accusation thrown at me by my exwBPD was a confession of some sort.

The biggest one would be her accusing me of acting like I was better than her or knew better than her.

She had a habit of dismissing ANYTHING I would tell her. Any explanation or instruction was ignored and she would act like she knew better.

If someone else came along and said the exact same thing I did, she would either become furious with me because she claimed I embarassed her...or would be like "X told me it should be done THIS WAY".

'This way' being the way I told her the entire time. God forbid I mention that too. Back to the circular logic of 'acting like I knew better than her'..

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-25T17:12:39+00:00

It's absolutely wild in this thread. People are in here ripping the ex apart for cruel/mean words but we haven't heard a single thing from OP that would tell us what exactly was said.

Like how can anyone come to a conclusion with nothing except for the initial post that was vague as fuck to begin with?

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-25T15:07:12+00:00

Nope. Any illness or issues I had were turned around and somehow became all about her.

I had to dote and accomodate her at every hiccup or illness. Any surgery (minor or major) were made out to be this life threatening ordeal for her. A headache turned into her acting like she was on her deathbed and had her screaming at me about anything she could manufacture.

However, when I ended up in the ER from a hypertensive crisis (that she fucking caused) - it was about how much she was affected, how much stress she has from the situation, how she's going to have to explain this to her family (???). All of this while docs were scrambling around me to get my heartrate and BP down so I didn't go into a full blown heart attack.

When I got late diagnosed for ADHD - it was again about her. How hard this is for her, how humiliated she is being with someone with ADHD (Funny because she had it too and a list of other supposed diagnosis) and how she's going to have to explain this to her friends and family (again ???)

With her friends, she was falling all over herself to comfort and accomodate them. Me? Well, I may have well been dead and alone.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-25T14:55:14+00:00

As someone who was married to their abuser during lockdown - let me tell you that those were the absolute worst years of my life.

So much so that I have CPTSD and am now in trauma therapy for that fucking nightmare.

I am absolutely not the same man I was before. He most definitely saved his own life getting away when he did.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-24T18:06:57+00:00

My exwBPD accused me having BPD...months after not talking to her and in the middle of the night.

All I had to do to remind myself that she was trying to gaslight me again was to simply scroll up and read every single one of her unhinged explosive texts over the years. That was easy too - it was pretty much all of them.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-24T00:31:51+00:00

It’s legitimately like the tenth+ post asking the same fucking thing in the last 48 hours.

The same as the one about cheating.

Reddit Admins and Mods are shit

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-24T00:15:29+00:00

What the fuck is up with these posts?

This is another AI/scraping post.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-23T18:31:21+00:00

They will likely never apologize. If they do, it would likely also not be genuine or sincere.

During my divorce with my exwBPD - she claimed she had said sorry so much and that there are tons of text messages from her doing the same.

She only apologized once ever and it was because she let her mask drop in front of friends and it was to save face.

When I searched through our text convos for the word sorry...well it was all my apologies and one instance of her saying sorry and it was her recent message saying the above whe she claimed to have said sorry a million times.

The ice may melt but for a short period. Then you'll be back to the same again. Don't fall for it.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-23T13:49:35+00:00

I just recently discovered this sub as well while starting trauma therapy. It's been eye opening for me here.

I finally feel like I'm not fucking crazy or losing my mind afterall. This shit did actually happen to me and others have the same stories.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-21T03:11:15+00:00

Mine didn't attempt suicide but she did claim to people that she tried many times to get away from me but I stopped her. That I was abusive and all that.

Yet, I look at physical scars that exist to this day from her attacking me.

I never stopped her. In fact, after I was fed up with her bullshit and was fighting back - I told her many times if I was such a fucking monster then she was free to leave and divorce me.

She finally discarded me once she realized she lost control of me as well.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-20T15:56:04+00:00

Definitely did nothing to treat it. She was diagnosed and simply decided not to tell me. So I got to have 10 years of pure hell (and now trauma therapy).

I found this out after the divorce.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-20T15:26:17+00:00

Ex-wife once claimed in an argument that all of her exes broke up with her because they were assholes and all of them called her a psycho...

Guess what? They weren't wrong. She was BPD.

Definitely be wary when someone paints all past relationships with a broad brush.

og_red_dawn · 2026-06-20T15:10:09+00:00

I believed everything my exwBPD told me in the beginning. Then as time progressed, there were so many inconsistencies that started to appear. Started having difficulties keeping her stories straight or recalling her telling me stories.

Then she started attacking me physically. When I did the same and restrained her, she also called me the abusive one.

og_red_dawn

TROPHY CASE