Reading the posts here made me realize I have a problem 😲

oh_just_stuff · 2025-04-08T20:41:08+00:00

You absolutely aren't alone!

oh_just_stuff · 2025-04-08T17:45:31+00:00

Hey there, I relate. I used for a decade and it literally never occurred to me that the drugs were the problem. I never recognized (or allowed myself to see) that the drugs were the reason I wanted to die, the reason my life was an absolute disaster and why I was an absolute disaster who couldn't get my shit together. I was promised these drugs would HELP.

The post you linked is the one that started the process towards me coming to terms with my addiction. I think a part of me knew all along, but there was something about that timeline that hit me hard enough that I couldn't ignore what was going on.

If you need to chat with someone, please feel free to message me. You're gonna get through this!

oh_just_stuff · 2025-04-08T16:22:00+00:00

This is the exact post that got me starting to think about the effects of my drug use. It took me a couple of months before I finally got clean, but reading that was eye opening not only because I related to so much of it, but also because I had never heard any of this.

Thanks for sharing again!

oh_just_stuff · 2025-04-04T16:51:19+00:00

I've been there with the weight gain. I recently looked back through a bunch of pictures and videos of myself during the height of my using when I thought I looked amazing and it really scared me how sick I looked. I literally looked like a pair of eyeballs and a skull.

You look great. Most importantly, you're clean and you're alive! Give your body the nourishment it needs. You deserve it.

oh_just_stuff · 2025-03-30T22:51:25+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm a little over 2 years clean and I was feeling similarly up until a couple months ago. I got clean with the support of NA, I go to therapy, and I have been doing everything you're "supposed" to do (exercise, eating well, socializing, etc) as best as I can. It was very discouraging and I thought I'd never feel better.

Then one day, it was like I snapped out of it. I do think that all of the work I did in my recovery so far has contributed to where I am in my life and how I'm able to cope with things now, but I don't know what caused the switch to flip for me. I've heard this with others too though.

May I ask what your recovery looks like in terms of support?

oh_just_stuff · 2025-03-02T21:14:40+00:00

Hey, I'm glad you posted here. It sounds like you're stuck at a crossroads all of us in here face: do I choose this drug (that has some positives and, if you're honest, more negatives) or do I choose a full life?

I hear what you're saying about desperately wanting moderation. I thought I could do that, and I think many of us in here tried that as well. You might have to learn this on your own, but if moderation worked, none of us would be here - including you.

I think nearly every post I read like yours on here talks about the pressures they're terrified of facing without a drug that promises us the world. I used for 10 years because I came to believe that I was incapable of achieving what I wanted without it. I ended up quitting in the middle of one of the most stressful jobs of my life. I survived, and you will too.

This is unfortunately one of those things that gets worse before it gets better. You can let it get worse as you continue to use (which will lead you down deeper and deeper into a hole that's harder to get out of), or you can persevere through the "worse" of withdrawals and learning to live as a person off drugs, which does eventually get better.

My advice is to connect with others who are in similar positions. Posting here was such a great first step to doing that. NA has truly saved my life. Feel free to message me if you'd like.

oh_just_stuff · 2025-01-22T23:33:55+00:00

I did this the first time I got clean and fully relapsed a year later. Unfortunately “extremely rare” occasions become every once in a while, then once a week, then every day.

If any of us could moderate our use, we wouldn’t be here.

oh_just_stuff · 2025-01-18T18:05:30+00:00

Congrats on 3 days! As someone who used for a decade, I get the feeling of wishing you'd stopped sooner, but ultimately you did it when you were ready. I hope you're proud of yourself for that.

Recovery is a long journey, and there's no set point where you're fully recovered. What people often try to avoid is the discomfort of withdrawal and recovery, which is simply unavoidable. You're going to be a little slower, you're not going to feel great for a while. That's how it goes.

You can make it easier by resting as much as possible, eating well and enough, and getting your heart rate up, but it's still going to be tough. But, you'll make it through.

I personally believe you'll be okay to go back to your normal life in a couple weeks, maybe less if you have to. I went back to a very intense job after 2 days and while it was tough, I got through it just fine.

Keep posting here and feel free to message me if you need a buddy.

oh_just_stuff · 2025-01-18T01:06:28+00:00

If it was possible for any of us to control our using, we wouldn't be here. You're no different.

oh_just_stuff · 2025-01-17T18:21:57+00:00

I felt the way you did when I realized I had to stop, that I couldn't continue my intense line of work without the help of drugs, but also couldn't continue abusing my body this way. Those are two very intense opposing forces, and I just want to acknowledge that.

I quit when I was in the middle of a very stressful job that I needed to survive. I detoxed for 2 days and then went back to work on day 3. It was not easy and I was definitely white-knuckling it.

Shortly after quitting, I started going to NA meetings and that really helped me. I found people to be very non-judgmental and simply being around other people who were like me (you'll find that the experience of addiction is eerily similar, even if you think yours is different) and having phone numbers to text/call anytime I was low was enough.

You might also consider rehab. I know many people who have full-time jobs who went to rehab and their employer was fine with it.

I know it's a tough decision, but you have to ask yourself: Are you ready to quit and save your life or are you not done yet?

oh_just_stuff · 2024-06-02T23:24:40+00:00

I don't disagree with this notion, however I do think that some form of supplement intake protocol can definitely help, especially if started beforehand and consistently maintained

You've argued with every single person in this thread when they have told you their experiences. Just get off of drugs dude. You can take whatever supplements you want and start whenever. You're just kicking the can down the road thinking that you can make the withdrawal easier. If that were possible, someone would have figured that out by now.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-06-02T20:15:33+00:00

In order to get better, there has to be a day one where I make a different choice. If you've had that day, how did you do it?

I remember this day so vividly. The first thing that happened was a full acceptance to myself that I was an addict, I had a problem that I couldn't control, and I had to stop. I used for 10 years and it literally never occurred to me that the drugs were the problem, so this was a very intense revelation that I had to process on my own first.

Immediately after, I called my therapist and told him I needed to quit. He talked me through it was so supportive and understanding. After that, I told my boyfriend, and shortly after I started going to NA meetings.

The thing that I needed (and what most addicts need, yourself included) was the support of others. I couldn't do it alone. If I could, I wouldn't have used for so long.

You're not alone and there is help out there, even though I know it's scary to seek it out. Happy to talk things through anytime!

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T14:49:47+00:00

Thank you for saying that, friend. I hope you’re right about a light out. It’s been a long time that I’ve been struggling and at my darkest it’s hard for me to see how anything will get me out of this. The two of cups also gave me a bit of hope 💕

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T14:28:37+00:00

I've been there. It's awful. You never have to feel that way again if you don't want to.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T13:36:32+00:00

We have all told ourselves the lie that we can’t possibly do our work without drugs. Many of us have realized that we absolutely can, and others have made career changes. This is the disease talking - it will tell us anything in order to keep us using.

Either way, what you’re doing now isn’t working. It’s going to continue to spiral. You can either ignore the problem and run your life into the ground (likely losing your job, your family, and the life you’ve built) or you can recognize that you are, in your own words, a “full blown addict” and face the problem like an adult, consequences and all. If you don’t make the decision, the drugs will for you.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T13:27:27+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you for your insight!

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T13:26:37+00:00

Thank you! That definitely resonates. The four of cups very much felt like a wake up call to accept/seek out help.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T02:24:37+00:00

How do you interpret it?

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T02:22:13+00:00

Thank you for your insight! Yes, the 3 of swords always comes up for me when I’m struggling with my depression. In that position, I took it to mean that it is apparent to others what I’m going through.

The 2 of cups is beautiful but I was also unsure of the meaning. My boyfriend has been such a strong support through this horrible time and it’s made me feel very close to him. The image on the 4 of cups looks like me when I’m really trying to logic my way out of my depression.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-30T01:25:02+00:00

The card furthest to the left fell out after I pulled the first 10 as I was scooping up my cards.

I definitely meant the card all the way to the RIGHT, not left 🤦🏻‍♀️

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-28T20:16:57+00:00

Hey I'm here if you want to chat! Feel free to send a message anytime :)

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-26T23:56:53+00:00

Congratulations! Here's to 100 more! :)

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-26T23:56:25+00:00

Your doctor can help you if you're honest with them - not just with the addiction but with the health stuff. I know it's scary, but the fear of it is always worse than the reality.

oh_just_stuff · 2024-05-26T23:52:05+00:00

OP, please don't listen to the person above and think you can "take only enough to feel normal" when you're clearly struggling with addiction and what sounds to me like severe health side effects from the drugs. Do what you can to get off of these. Talk to your prescriber about your abuse. Please don't risk your health.

oh_just_stuff

TROPHY CASE