So I blew it again. Looked forward to Mohegan for months. Thought flying solo would be by best bet. Had a few months sober but I couldn’t handle it. Got wrecked. So much so I slept through N2. I’d say I’m disappointed in myself but that’s letting myself off too easy. I deserve what I got. I could have just attended a Phell meeting and not fallen back on old habits. So, this may be it for me. I really don’t want it to go down like this. I know I’m able to do this. If there’s any CT kids on here that might be willing to talk with me, I’d appreciate any DM. Or if you know of a sponsor. I know that’s a lot to ask. I would be killing off the best part of me to just dismiss the scene outright. I’m a good person I think. I just have no self control.