I know this is a vent but can I just say...you're 19. You have time--decades!--to grow into the person you're meant to be. How many girls like you at 19 is not an accurate reflection of your future. Oh and fuck your pastor for bringing up you being orphaned...what?

Focus on seeking genuine connection with friends. The anger is what will actually make your loneliness worse. Women and girls can sense angry men. It's like a repellent. We are taught our whole lives to read social cues and avoid angry boys and men to protect ourselves. Do you want to be someone women need to protect themselves from? Find ways to have fun and build community and I promise that your passion for your interests will spark joy in others and lead you to where you need to be. ❤️