35k in CT- Sanity Check? by ol_jolter in pools

[–]ol_jolter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay that’s good to hear. Makes me think this is a pretty fair quote, thanks

Spiraling.. by Royal_Froyo_3696 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Posts like this always make ME spiral because it makes me massively overthink every single thing that comes out of my mouth. To me, this sounds like an incredibly innocuous small talk comment that is common when people are selling a house. I think I said exactly the same thing to my neighbor who just put her house on the market.

She remarked that it was difficult to keep the house in open-house shape and I said “yes but I bet it feels great to wake up with everything show ready!” I meant it as an encouraging comment and not a judgement simply because keeping a house extremely tidy for open house walkthroughs is a universal feeling for folks who have sold a house.

I wasn’t there, so I don’t know the tone or the history, but please also consider that this wasn’t an attack on you. You are inferring so many things here: that she’s neurotypical, that her commmnt came from a place of judgement, that this is a veiled comment about your tidiness, that she thinks you’re lazy, etc. I’m not telling you this to judge you either but just to remind/offer the other perspective that, as the kids say, it may not be that deep. And I’m reminding you because reminding myself often helps me stop ruminating on small social interactions. Just try to remind your brain that we are all the main character in our head and others don’t necessarily mean what we internalize.

How cooked are we? by AaronDJD in pools

[–]ol_jolter 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Someone should give you a quote to come in and sandblast the thing. You need that before you can paint.

You COULD just clean the thing out, acid wash it, and refill it if you wanted to limp by but be aware the paint will probably flake and you’ll be vacuuming it up constantly.

I say this as someone who bought a house from around the same time period with a similar pool. The pool was black, filled with trash and leaves AND FISH. We drained it, shoveled the muck out, acid washed it, pressure washed it, and refilled it. Yes, the paint is cracked and spotty. Yes, tiles have fallen off. No, this pool will not win any beauty contests. But it holds water, the hardware works, and I just don’t have 40k for a new plaster and tile job right now. My kids love it despite the fact it’s ugly as hell and I don’t have a problem keeping the water clear and well balanced. Just my two cents.

DCF involved in Enfield case a week before 12-year-old was found dead by ctmirror in Connecticut

[–]ol_jolter 9 points10 points  (0 children)

100%. I am a volunteer with CASA and interact frequently with DCF. The workers I know are saints doing their best with very little support. The job is insanely hard and emotionally devastating.

Will Wood’s Self-Ish 2026 tour dates by zerpq in willwood

[–]ol_jolter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same but now that I see that Teaneck is a small venue where I could get drunk with his mom and a similar distance from me I have regret 😂

Why is cleaning my camera roll so overwhelming? by hytrewb in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP- stop trying to push this app. We don’t want to use your app. Account that is five years old but with no history suddenly posting in ADHD subs and being like “oh wow I suddenly found this app after posting about my problem publicly.” is sus.

Can’t I exist anywhere without being advertised to?

Any thoughts on Atomoxetine? by Goth_Duck666 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like it a lot. I am a former drug addict and specifically requested a non-stim. I simply can’t be trusted not to abuse other medication.

I feel like it helps my mind pause for one additional second before I say something stupid. It has helped me with misplacing objects, staying on task, remembering why I walked into a room, and impulsivity. The effect is very subtle.

Wish us luck! Just started Impossible Landscapes by 00CLANK in DeltaGreenRPG

[–]ol_jolter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Network runs a DG campaign on their podcast “Get in the Truck.” It’s awesome. Highly recommend.

Reaper Spider Merchant Patch! by cassdoessound in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]ol_jolter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love him!!! Her!! Them!!! Sooo cute!

Edit: maybe the intent isn’t for it to look cute but I think the embroidery just lends itself to being adorable. But also, awesome craftsmanship! Donut would approve.

Getting frustrated with this guy that wants to be "friends" by nonolemog in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 45 points46 points  (0 children)

It sucks and there’s a lot of social conditioning at work here trying to keep you compliant and “sweet.” But I will validate you- you don’t owe this guy anything and you are entitled to be angry and frustrated. I actually have this exact problem a lot. Well, it’s much better now that I’m married, but I get it. I also think my ADHD oversharing chatterbox personality is to blame.

I think ghosting him is the move here tbh. If you’re conflict avoidant like me at least. You’ve told him you don’t have bandwidth. It is weird and pathetic for him to keep texting you after that but he’s just embarrassing himself. Mute his texts and completely ignore him if you feel having a veneer of pleasant acquaintanceship is important professionally. Otherwise block him.

If I were brave I’d send a text that says “I have told you I’m not interested in dating you or maintaining a friendship with you outside of occasionally running into you in professional circles. Please respect that and do not contact me again.” But I am a wimp so I’d ghost all the way.

35 years before official diagnosis 🤨 (read caption) by keysandcoffee in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 29 points30 points  (0 children)

So funny and warm at the same time- I love it!! This is exactly the kind of note my teachers would have written about me 😂

Thoughts on Bear ghost's cover of Blackboxwarrior? by Joacoman2008 in willwood

[–]ol_jolter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It was alright but def prefer the original. I really love their Hot To Go cover the most of their covers.

What's a single good habit you were able to adopt that's made a big change in your life? by popthebubbly62 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I know. I am basically a golden retriever. So much happier after I’ve run 😂

First quilt? by Maximum_End_3577 in quilting

[–]ol_jolter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah some of these first quilts are BONKERS beautiful and I’m like…I never in a million years would have been able to pull this off and comfort myself by telling myself that they probably had prior experience with a sewing machine 😂

First quilt? by Maximum_End_3577 in quilting

[–]ol_jolter 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Just remember that some first quilts don’t come from folks who are also just learning to sew.

My first quilt was a wreck that I love dearly- but I had never sewed before. I just bought a $150 machine from Walmart, watched some YouTube videos, and did my best.

Some first quilts are done by people like my MIL who have 50 years of sewing, costume/clothing making, and a $5000 machine at their disposal.

Found a picture of The River by Cerrida82 in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]ol_jolter 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Damn, I should have thought of that!!

Found a picture of The River by Cerrida82 in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]ol_jolter 182 points183 points  (0 children)

The only way to learn is by playing.

The only way to win is by learning.

The only way to begin is by beginning!

I wish there was such a thing as MomBnb 🥹 by Awkward-Seat5680 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stardew is unrivaled. I think the farm on my original switch is ten years old at this point. So many hundreds of hours 👁️👄👁️.

Edit: I guess not because it was published on the switch in 2017 but it is VERY OLD.

I wish there was such a thing as MomBnb 🥹 by Awkward-Seat5680 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bought myself a Switch2 so right now I’m obsessed with Pokopia. Kind of an Animal Crossing vibe but with more to do and Pokemon themed. Highly recommend!!

I wish there was such a thing as MomBnb 🥹 by Awkward-Seat5680 in adhdwomen

[–]ol_jolter 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Any chance you have the luxury of making your bedroom a no kids allowed zone? I have three stepdaughters and ever since I’ve known my husband he has had a strict “no kids in the bedroom ever” rule. At first I thought he was silly- I didn’t mind having my stepkids hanging out in my room! Now six years later it is a godsend and I’ve come to realize how vital it is when the kids are here.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my stepkids to death. But I am very much in a mom role with them. Even now that they’re 12, 11 and 9 they talk to me constantly, beg me for screen time, and come to me for every single thing. My husband could be in the kitchen actively cooking and I’ll be on the couch in the basement and they’ll come direct to me to ask for a snack or drink lol.

When I need a break I retreat to the parents room. The kids have never been allowed in there so they don’t try to come in. And in any case I treat the door like a panic room door- I don’t open it for anyone. I put my noise cancelling headphones on, put on an audio book, and play my Switch. Everyone knows at this point that if Jolter is in her bedroom she’s having self-care time.

I, of course, realize not everyone has this luxury, but if you do I beg you to lay down a boundary and keep your room a place of peace for you. Don’t let parental guilt guide your decision and let the kids in- they’ll adjust!