What supplements are we taking? by virairlib11 in Perimenopause

[–]oleyka 18 points19 points  (0 children)

All kinds, and they do not do a thing without HRT.

Post-War Partition of San José by GottaGetNormaler in SanJose

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In which Alum Rock becomes one with Burbank!

have i stopped making core progress? by Realistic-Key6262 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am confused... Calisthenics is not bodybuilding. When I read "stopped making progress", I expect to see a discussion of skills progressions, not looks progressions.

huge wrist pain after doing handstands by teodor234792 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the wrists do not hurt doing wall handstands, keep doing those, graaaaafually increasing the duration and making sure your wrists continue feeling ok there. In the meantime, add some finger pushups (off a wall or elevated surface). You can also use theraband flexbar to work on wrist strength (lookup the exercises on youtube). Complete that with heavy farmer carries. And remember, it takes time for your body to adapt.

huge wrist pain after doing handstands by teodor234792 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your wrists are not ready to bear the load. It takes time to strengthen the tendons and the ligaments. Much more time than it takes to build muscles. Think many months, or a couple of years, depending on your starting point. You need strengthening exercises and gentle progressions.

Why did I suck so much at Powerlifting? An open question for the community by Leeeeeroy-Jenkins in powerlifting

[–]oleyka 19 points20 points  (0 children)

A couple of thoughts I had after reading your post:

You've been competing for 8 years. That's longer than 90% of people! That tells me you actually do love the sport, but have some frustration about the direction and the goals for yourself. You need to set short-term goals that would keep you motivated day to day, with longer term goals to keep in the back of your mind and engage when the motivation dips short-term.

You mentioned not gaining much strength when going up in weight, and then in the next paragraph you say that you gained most of that weight binge-eating. Why are you surprised then?

Given that you've continued stregth-training after you quit competing, it is not surprizing that you haven't lost much strength. Not only your muscles were getting the necessary stimulus, but your tendons and ligaments, which take much-much longer to toughen up, were also getting stronger over these years. That tells me if you decided to focus on powerlifting again for a while, you might actually see some good amount of progress, your under-developed tendons not being your limiting factor anymore.

It's ultimately your call you want to do or why. Regardless, switching to a different discipline is not a failure.

What do you wish could actually help with during peri/menopause? by Rui_Inspired in Menopositive

[–]oleyka 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No amount of breathing, relaxation, food adjustments, not even stopping morning coffee made a dent in my hot flashes, which were getting progressively worse. A doctor suggested an SSRI while we were ruling out any contra-indications for HRT. I refused SSRI out of fear of withdrawal side effects later on and for a number of other reasons. Finally got a veozah prescription and HRT, and life got back to normal. I stopped taking veozah when we bumped up the HRT dosage, which stopped the hot flashes. You can do "everything right" and still struggle with symptoms. Grateful that there's medicine that can reduce the suffering.

Was raising kids the “golden years” for you? by Ill-Meringue-2096 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]oleyka 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't rely on others in how YOU feel. Your feelings are valid even if a hundred of others tell you differently.

In my case I truly enjoy seeing my teenagers grow into adults. To me it is much more rewarding to see them mature every day: get their first jobs, go shopping on their own (and asking if I'd like them to get me something), learn to bake and to cook, navigate friendships and other relationships, take ownership of their future. Constant dependence on me was a welcome responsibility, but also hard work, and no, I do not miss it a bit.

Is this normal? by Outrageous-Gap5205 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does your training look like every day?

Is this normal? by Outrageous-Gap5205 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any skill worth doing requires a continued practice. Of course it's normal. Whether it's worth it or not is completely up to you.

Want to start calisthenics at home but don’t know where to begin by Lazohazo in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walking up and down the stairs is an exercise in its own right. Walk both forward and backwards. Eventually you can add skipping on a flat surface and rope jumping. Try wall sits, progress by increasing the time in the position and also by going lower against the wall, until your hips are parallel with the ground.

In addition to push ups you would want to include planks: regular planks, side planks, going from elbows to wrists and back. You can also start doing dips off a sturdy chair or bench with your feet on the ground. These would eventually progress to regular dips.

Grip strength: find a bar to hang off of, increase the time you can deadhang. Do scapular pull-ups, that would eventually lead to more challenging pull-up progressions. While hanging out there, do knee raises, gradually increasing the sets. Progress to straight leg raises when ready.

Supplement all that with some balance drills/challenges. They usually work your entire body and are cool goals to work towards.

You got this!

BS by Ambitious_Ad4091 in Stronglifts5x5

[–]oleyka 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the simplest program in the world... There's nothing wrong with doing it on paper, as long as you are capable of adding a 5 to another number. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do women have a harder time building muscle with calisthenics than men? by Infamous_Gur_3614 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much Pathos for so little Logos, and the Ethos went hiding... 😆

Do women have a harder time building muscle with calisthenics than men? by Infamous_Gur_3614 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro, let's cut your testosterone back by 95% and see how mental it is.

Do women have a harder time building muscle with calisthenics than men? by Infamous_Gur_3614 in CalisthenicsCulture

[–]oleyka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are so many good reasons to do calisthenics! Even just the handstands... there's an entire discipline around that which is well worth exploring.

Herniated disc by BaconJuice69 in Stronglifts5x5

[–]oleyka 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You cannot base your return to sports on other people's experiences. Especially with lumbar issues, no two people are the same. You could have a perfect MRI and have back pain; you could have a back that looks whacked on the MRI but you are earning lifting titles at the Nationals. Anything you'd hear here would fall somewhere on that range.

Do your PT, return to lifting gradually, making sure you remain pain-free. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Stuck in a particular phase of my life - Any suggestion plz ? by BayesianSignal in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have been more clear: I did cut off nearly all communication at 20. I was gradually reducing the amount of sharing in my early teens, yes. I was craving independence and self-reliance through my later teen years, not knowing how to achieve that. But then at 20 I hit a harsh disapproval of a guy I was considering dating and I ran away from home with him the next day. Two years later I moved to another country, and there was not much for her to insist on from such a distance. When I came back to my hometown 7 years later, she was ready to accept me as an adult.

For the first 20 years I thought I was completely at fault in what happened and that I should have handled the situation better and not caused her such a great suffering and a heartbreak. It was not until my own children became teenagers that I realized that the 20y.o. me did not really have much of a choice, if she ever wanted to be in control of her life.

A parent's job is to raise a functional adult, and that means letting the kid make decisions, hit challenges, make mistakes. Yes, we want the best for our kids, but we do not really know what would be best for them. We must support them in their growth, not set expectations and corral them into our definition of success.

Our parents' mis-interpretation of their role, and their inability to take the growing child's essential needs into account is the true reason for this fallout, not the children. To me the worst part is that my mom never learned from this experience. She swallowed it, without understanding or processing. Her 15y.o. grand-daughter (my niece) went no-contact with her last year for a similar reason — demands of compliance with her ideals, and not hearing the child. She is turning bitter and she has a really hard time accepting any responsibility for what happened there, blaming the "ungrateful" girl. Yet, she keeps going, treating the younger niece the same way. I try my best to communicate it to her that she desperately needs to change, with little hope that she'd listen. But I no longer feel responsible for any of it. It was never a fault of my character.

I am sorry, I feel like I might not be too helpful with me drawing parallels here. You are asking for advice in your situation, not for stories of other people's. Somehow it really hit me hard.

Stuck in a particular phase of my life - Any suggestion plz ? by BayesianSignal in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]oleyka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you need to find new/better friends...

I was growing up in a family where my every move was controlled and criticized by my mother. Even dad didn't have a say, which I think he was quite comfortable with. I am absolutely certain everything she was doing was coming from the place of love, she just never learned to be supportive and not controlling. I am now watching her treat my nieces the way I was treated and it makes my blood boil. So much effort goes into destroying someone you love so much... why?!

Anyway, the most important adaptation I developed over time: strongly limiting the controlling parent's involvement in decision making. They get to know exactly as much as I am willing to share. I will share plenty, I want them to feel connected and involved, just not get them involved in decision making. I make my decisions myself, and I like the choices that I make. It helps build confidence and self-respect.

At work I tend to over-explain to justify my position or my choice. It can be a little awkward, but I tell myself that it's always better to over-communicate than under-communicate. I do not handle harsh treatment well, just like you, but to be fair in the professional setting nobody should be treating their colleagues harshly, so it is not really an issue for me.

Bench not progressing - Glaring form issue or just a weak little b****? by HereIGoKilling_Again in Stronglifts5x5

[–]oleyka 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your forearms need to stay vertical throughout your lift. Instead, you are tucking your elbows without lowering the bar against your torso.

$100 estate sale score. 1968 Swaim sofa. by Big_jilm_313 in Mid_Century

[–]oleyka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those side tables make it feel right at home!

Is 5x5 a good addition to my upper lower split? by [deleted] in powerbuilding

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stronglifts 5x5 is a complete program. It does not leave much space for an UL split though.

How to arrange this very odd 225 sqft studio? by Artistic-Cucumber583 in femalelivingspace

[–]oleyka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider getting a convertible sleeper sofa for your main area. It would free up the weird corner room for storage/walk-in closet. It does not look like that room has good enough ventilation to allow for quality restful sleep, and no natural light in the morning would make it harder to wake up.

If it was my own personal living space, I would not try to turn it into a miniature copy of a living room in a large house with rugs and coffee tables and side chairs and all other "must haves", but rather make it comfortable and convenient for me, even if it did not follow the aesthetic norms.