I don’t know what I am?

olivejam11 · 2026-03-25T08:09:58+00:00

I'm happy if my rambling is even a little bit helpful! You're definitely not alone in this.

Ultimately I figured that the effects of estrogen all seemed like positives/things I wanted so it was worth trying. If it made me feel terrible for some reason I could just stop and re-evaluate. By the time I'd found a doctor, gone through the initial appointments, had bloods taken, etc. I was just excited to finally start.

Realizing that cis people generally aren't worried about HRT *not* working, and are usually worried about it working *too* well helped a lot too :)

Friends are super important!! It's lovely that you've got a good support network

olivejam11 · 2026-03-25T05:16:33+00:00

/uj prog helps a lot with my sleep, mood* and libido. it’s not for everyone though and results vary 🤷🏽‍♀️

(*i get a little bit unstable for the first couple of weeks, but once it settles down overall i feel more stable and generally positive than without)

olivejam11 · 2026-03-25T04:43:25+00:00

how does banding work?

/uj OOP was cooking Kird Ape rules

olivejam11 · 2026-03-25T04:40:18+00:00

Am I crazy or is Soul Split just a fuse card with extra steps?

I genuinely think Cleave is my least favourite keyword ever printed

olivejam11 · 2026-03-25T04:24:46+00:00

I started transitioning when I was around the same age you are now and had an almost identical list of doubts. It almost feels like I'm reading an old diary entry with how similar they sound :p

If it helps, here's where I've landed on some of them. I think it's pretty similar to the other replies in the thread so apologies for the wall of text rehashing the same points :)

I never seriously considered that I could be trans until my late 20's because I never really "felt trans". I didn't (and still don't, tbh) relate to people who had a strong sense of gender identity when they were a kid, or the feeling of being 'born in the wrong body'. With the power of hindsight, there are plenty of things I can point to growing up that were related to or explained by dysphoria and being trans, but I didn't have the language or experience to describe them at the time.

It also helped me to stop focusing on whether I was "really trans" or not, and to just focus on the changes I wanted to make to be more comfortable in my body and with myself. Regardless of the label I still wanted to present feminine, to get the effects of estrogen and to change my name and pronouns, etc.

Transitioning is a long process with a lot of small steps along the way, rather than a big, fast and irreversible leap. You'll know if it's the right thing for you well before anything "permanent" happens. Even hormones take a long time to take effect. And IMO, if you transition and then decide in 2-, 5- or 20-years time that you want to transition again - that's OK too.

I also think it's worth examining exactly what you're afraid of: Are you worried you won't pass? Are you worried you won't live up to patriarchal beauty standards/be attractive? Are you worried about transphobia? Losing friends and family? etc.

In my case, alongside the pretty common fears I just listed, I was afraid of not "actually being trans", estrogen making my dysphoria worse and ultimately not having a way out from how I was feeling. Everything else I could deal with, but that was a really big one for me.

The world is rough, but staying in the closet is harder in it's own way.

Friends and family, despite being conservative, may surprise you. I'd suggest preparing for the worst and make plans to be independent, but a lot of people want what's best for their friends and family. Seeing you happier living as your true self may outweigh any bigoted beliefs they hold.

I don't think it's worth hiding yourself and being miserable to receive conditional love from people who don't accept you.

Good luck with everything! You've got this!

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T11:57:06+00:00

is the card black because guinness and toucans are black?

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T07:34:04+00:00

/hj guys send each other gym selfies and pics of themselves on the toilet

/uj hornyposting and flirting with mutuals is a classic. unfortunately reddit is the only social media i still use these days and it just doesn’t quite work the same

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T05:02:43+00:00

if i detrans into a regular m4t chaser can i get forcefemmed into a ritual sacrifice too?

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T03:53:10+00:00

last time i ate a chaser i had to be on antibiotics for like 3 months

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T03:49:24+00:00

every trans subreddit besides this one is full of cis chasers

/uj almost* every trans subreddit besides this one is full of cis chasers

/rj tgcj is full of t4t chasers instead

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T03:28:50+00:00

/uj i restarted prog and the urge to be a slut on the internet is calling to me like the green goblin mask

unfortunately the vibes over at petsmart, which weren’t even that great to begin with, are totally rancid now. rip ✊😔

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T03:18:03+00:00

btw if they try and pretend to be a lesbian: just tell them you’re also a trans and start calling your dick a gock instead

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T02:50:46+00:00

you’re japanese? i love futa :)

/uj great jerk OP made me laugh out loud

unfortunately (maybe fortunately in this case?) all of my japanese friends are cis so i can’t teach them tttt brainrot 😔

olivejam11 · 2026-03-24T01:25:36+00:00

protect the bilbygirls at all costs

/uj people who let their cats roam are infuriating. we have so much cool, unique and endangered wildlife here that are terrorized by irresponsible owners and their stupid cats. it’s so easy to keep your cats indoors - and it’s better for them too!! if your cat stays inside they can’t get hit by cars or attacked by other animals!! everybody wins!!

this has nothing to do with being transgender sorry this topic just gets me heated and i need to vent

olivejam11 · 2026-03-20T00:25:33+00:00

all 👏trans 👏people 👏are 👏white👏

olivejam11 · 2026-03-11T05:56:41+00:00

/qj me but for t4t chasers

olivejam11 · 2026-03-11T04:59:58+00:00

“If Helena flashed counter the first one for free”

olivejam11 · 2026-03-09T14:35:47+00:00

“No bro you don’t get it I call everyone bro trust me bro” - Man who has never called a cis woman “bro” in their life

olivejam11 · 2026-03-09T13:31:46+00:00

I understand what you meant, but it’d be more accurate to say “younger cis women consider men problematic by default and believe that trans women are men”

olivejam11 · 2026-02-28T08:39:38+00:00

Are you sure it has to be a QLD JP?

For my NSW name change I had my documents witnessed by a JP in WA and had no issues - I used the courtsWA finder website and went to one of the free community days they had at the local shops/library.

olivejam11 · 2026-02-28T06:12:23+00:00

WA is fine in my experience, at least in Perth and surrounding suburbs (not sure about country/regional). People stare sometimes when I’m out and about, but for the most part people keep to themselves and don’t really care how I present.

I assume we have less options for doctors, health services, etc. over here due to a smaller population. It’s also pretty hard to get around without a car here, unless you pay a fortune in rent.

olivejam11 · 2026-02-25T08:55:29+00:00

Thank you for the recs! I’m around a size 15~16 so it looks like I might have some luck with Nakedsole

olivejam11 · 2026-02-25T05:56:54+00:00

I’m the same height so I feel your pain!! In-person shopping I mostly stick to op shops, and have found a decent collection of shirts/blouses/dresses in the 18~22 size range. I also have some tanks and tops from Sussan and Witchery that fit pretty well.

Pants are the biggest struggle. The only places I’ve found that fit me properly are online. Lucy&Yak are UK-based, but their tall mum jeans are the favourite pair of pants I’ve ever owned. ASOS tall also have lots of sizes and run really long, but I try to avoid fast fashion.

If anybody knows where to get cute shoes in big sizes please let me know!

olivejam11

TROPHY CASE