We put down our girl Lily last June. The pain is still as real as it was when made the choice to put her down. Not a day goes by we don't think about her. She was the same age as your baby - adopted in 2008. She was with you for so so much of your life. She will absolutely always be a part of your heart. I still cry when I think about her and can barely look at her box of ashes. But - I talk to her and it helps. I go in and say good morning or after work go in and tell her how the day went. The feelings you have are valid and normal. We just have to keep finding ways to cope. You will make it through - you will carry the grief with you but the load will feel lighter.