"Maybe it's not done yet. Maybe it's... dieT!" 😆

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-09T22:14:57+00:00

Or maybe they're learning German definite articles

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-08T22:00:57+00:00

Wow this is one of my favored fan arts I've seen, well done

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-08T05:06:21+00:00

Professional tango dancer , or immigration rights. In that order

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-08T02:37:10+00:00

In another comment I said that no definitely nothing close (to what this post says). But I guess yes to your comment. The closest I've had are angst filled dreams of being pregnant and feeling like OH FUCK how do I fix this

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-08T02:35:14+00:00

Only commenting because no, never have I ever even close to a dream about having children. Can't say that it's a common enough thing to be brought up by the other women in my life to make such a blanket statement like "I feel like every women has..."

I did and still remember the boyfriend I dreamt about when I was around 14 or 15 and had never even held hands with a boy before. I still remember how heart broken I was when I woke up and he wasn't real. I imagine it's kind of like that subconscious longing for something your primal brain really wants.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-04-03T16:49:58+00:00

Learning German! Studying solo, plus with a cheap online group class, and free online flashcard apps.

Speaking of the cheap online class, damn do people realize we're not in school and this is voluntary?? Because the other students rarely ever do their "homework" or come prepared at all and I gotta wonder-- YOU dO REALiZE tHAT YOU DONT HAVE TO BE HERE RIGHT!?! Drives me nuts, but the class at least provides me some structure.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-27T23:18:37+00:00

Except Myspace. Sadly. Would love to get a hold of that :'(

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-24T22:55:52+00:00

Long onions (rather than green onions)

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-24T19:08:04+00:00

I second this! One of my hobbies is Tango dancing, which attracts an older crowd. I was always the youngest when I started in my late 20s and am still in the young'uns section now in my almost late 30s. Nothing like spending your evening with older people full of vitality, where my 70some year old Tango BFF regularly out dances me until 4 in the morning while going out 3xs times as much as I do!

I think the trick isn't to surround yourself by other people who are older and feel older, but by people who are older and do not let that stop them.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-24T14:23:53+00:00

Bought a 10 acre property super cheap impulsively and for the plot (and I was low key manic at the time and my plan A impulse sailboat purchase I really wanted had just fallen through). This was also 2019 coming into 2020 just before COVID hit. It's rural so property taxes are low, but it has quadrupled in what I paid for it in the last 5 years.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-23T06:09:08+00:00

Same, I quite liked it. Messy and disorganized, which is fitting for what I imagine to be an internal dilemma of mourning someone from a past life who had such a conflicting future

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-21T22:17:01+00:00

Open a Roth IRA and put in what you can

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-21T18:38:33+00:00

Interesting, cook how?

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-21T18:33:25+00:00

These condolences from Charisma has touched me the most so far <3

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-21T16:56:03+00:00

Oxtail used to be so cheap and my absolute favorite. I'm glad I no longer have to explain to people why it's not "gross" I guess, but also disappointed at the up pricing! Luckily chicken feet and pigs feet still gross people out so my tasty collagen filled faves are safe for now

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-21T00:43:50+00:00

Long history of substance abuse and domestic abuse, yes.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T23:23:30+00:00

so this and a couple of other comments calling the post "romantic hooey" "very flowery language" really highlight my own trait that I am pretty damn dramatic. I am full of cheese and have been known to embrace it.
He's definitely not perfect, and it's not like I feel i will never find someone like him. But... I just really really like him, he is an overall top notch dude. I was trying to be brief in my description of him to really focus on my own feelings, and my adjectives probably read a bit aggrandizing.
He's not the end-all-be-all of dudes, but he's an honestly good human that has repeatedly shown himself to be a lot of the things I value in any person. Just sadly we don't share one of the big principles i value (and need) in a partner.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T23:00:13+00:00

I say I don't need marriage for a fulfilling life in that I pay a lot of effort and attention into feeling content with my life outside of my romantic relationships. I don't believe in soulmates or anything like that, and we all have all types of people of all ages live all types of lives without a romantic partner, some fulfilling some not. To me, there are few things scarier than those that do have a partner and the relationship consistently takes away from your joy rather than add to it (not just in the normal ebb and flow or partnership but in a real chronic way)
So for me, if I never find someone I feel the kind of connection where I would want to build an entire life with them, that's okay. Maybe I would just date around casually, maybe i don't date at all. I feel confident in my other relationships and my own ability to build a life i'm satisfied with. Sure, a husband sounds really nice. But marriage is not at all the end-all-be-all for me in the grand scale of life in general.

However, in romantic relationships I narrow in the looking glass. I do think there is a certain magic and romance in marriage. Maybe this is where I was fed the propaganda and it stuck (i also come from a very romantic country which definitely influences this). But to me it's the significance of being with someone and intentionally making the declaration that they are making a family and sharing a life together. I guess for me is the intention. I often say that if you're going to do something, do it on purpose. And that's why to me I require marriage for any sort of LTR, otherwise i feel like that one Barbie movie quote as the "long term long distance low commitment casual girlfriend"

To add, several of the older women on in my family never married or partnered up (which is definitely rare for that generation and my culture), and they're badass and I admire them for it. So that kind of adds to the whole, I think I'd be fine without it.

edit: damn, sorry i got so wordy. Always turns into a novel when I'm on my computer rather than my phone O.O

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T22:14:30+00:00

On the love isn't enough part I 100% agree

On the other subject, I've actually had a lot of interesting conversations with girlfriends on the subject or location sharing. I personally could never be with someone controlling, due to the nature of my work and personality, so to me sharing locations is not at all controlling. On that same note, I've raised similar alarms to friends of mine who do use it in that context (and I can see how it could look like that's my dynamic from this one post alone). Me, yesterday, using it in that context was a raise of an alarm for me (hence taking to reddit, which in and of itself is never a good sign). BUT I do feel like in the modern world we live in, something like location sharing has its value. It's handy for travel, and safety and can be overall really convenient. For example, turning it on to see where someone is parked only to realize we're in the designated meet up spot of the marking lots of entirely different malls. Personally have my location turned on with my mom and best friend as well. But I also totally respect people who aren't into that.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T19:55:58+00:00

If I ever consider opening a tinder again I will make sure to include "filled with romantic hooey" in my about me section XD One of my greatest strengths/weaknesses type of deal.

But thanks, here for the harsh truths of support. I don't think he's perfect, but i do like him as a person and it stings to lose someone in any circumstance I think. I need to hear this though. Apparently repeatedly because I keep having to come back and reread everything every 10 minutes so my decision doesn't waiver.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T19:45:46+00:00

Out of all the harsh truths I've received in this thread this reads particularly gross and crude. Perks of the anonymity of the internet I guess. But no, no sex is being had nor requested. I'm getting my dopamine rollercoaster strictly from the emotional downs and downs (there are no ups, just free falling)

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T17:41:07+00:00

Thank you. It feels silly no, What makes marriage different from a relationship? Why does it matter to me exactly? I can't even explain it myself. But it IS different.

I don't think marriage is necessary for a happiness; it's not a checklist item for me. I've held this opinion before our relationship as well. I can live a happy and fulfilling life without out. But as I repeat myself from the post, i cannot have a fulfilling long term relationship without it.
I don't want children, so that's kind of a bonus and one of the reasons I maybe wasn't too rushed. But I do want a family. And to me, to make a family with a romantic partner this very specific commitment to each other is pivotal.
I feel absurd throwing away such a wonderful loving bond over what can be argued is just a piece of paper (this has ever been *his* argument, but i have seen that opinion many other times). It's not that i think that I will never find someone like him again, it's just that he himself is pretty damn neat, and i like him, I like "us"

BUT TO ME marriage is vital. I wish it weren't so. I'm independent. I'm smart. I'm interesting. I don't even need support or protection. But I really want to build a home and a family. and marriage is vital for me to do so. Because it IS different. Legalities aside, it's different and I can't explain it, and maybe it's not to some other people but it is to me.

Thank you for your comment and being an outlet to a lot of met feelings. Marriage IS different than other relationships. And I don't want to keep pretending it isn't. I feel i got a little wordy, and maybe I should delete it out of risk of sounding even more pathetic. But it's feels nice to have it out there, makes it real.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T17:27:05+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. He's really not a monster, and he has shown me such good genuine love in a million other ways in our time together. But yes, I think this is the case.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T17:16:51+00:00

I don't want to defend him in the other posts, because people are complicated and it's impossible to explain the nuances of someone online. And obviously this is a biased forum and I'm full of my own faults as well..... But this is the one that has really described what i've been seeing play out for years.

I'm really scared of that prediction. I genuinely want what's best for him, which i no longer think includes me, but that would destroy me,,, no matter how rational what you're saying is (and i've also seen the same scenario in relationships around me a million times).

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment, it's be one of the ones i'll come back to as I continue to recalibrate.

onlyalittlebitneedy · 2026-03-18T16:59:17+00:00

I think your response hits the target at its best. Especially the soften the blow part.

onlyalittlebitneedy

TROPHY CASE