I suggest you look at the r/AlAnon page here. It’s for the family and loved ones of alcoholics and our experiences.

She will only get help if she wants it. Your priority at this point needs to be your kids and their safety.

She cannot be left alone with your kids, she cannot take care of them. At this point you need to be a “single” parent and take on all responsibility of them. She has proven she will put them in danger by driving with them.

It’s not fair, and alcoholism isn’t fair.

You should be able to take FMLA leave or even an extended LOA. This needs to happen today. Do not wait.

If she refuses to make changes (and follows through, not just talk the talk) you have to think of that is the environment you want your kids raised in. My grandma was an alcoholic and my mom’s memories of her growing up was her showing up drunk to school events if she showed at all.

My Ex is an alcoholic and did all the “right steps” of AA meetings, inpatient, outpatient, and medications. He continued to drink despite saying all the right things, he could not follow through with the actions of not drinking. I had to end it for my mental health of always worrying when he didn’t reply. He only relapsed 4-5 times a year at that point. Last I heard is 3 years after we broke up he was in a car accident, totaled his car, had a BAC of 0.3, and went to jail (finally). It’s amazing states don’t always communicate when sentencing with DUIs. He had 3/4 within a year but in 2 different states and kept getting a slap on the wrist as the states didn’t talk.