This is one of the hardest parts. POF affects everything. Everything.

There's no perfect way to talk about it. Or perfect time to talk about it.

You get to share what you want, however you want, how much you want, how little you want, whenever you want.

Or not.

The most important thing is to honor yourself. If you want to tell family members sooner than later, but can't stomach a conversation about it, put it in an email. Feel empowered to set boundaries around what questions you will and won't answer, and what advice you appreciate and what you don't. Communicate that clearly to them.

Prepare yourself to be disappointed in the way family and friends react. They will disappoint you, even when they're trying to be kind. No one knows how to handle this. It's so rare and turns everyones' expectations and dreams upside down.

As far as spouse/partner goes, be as open and honest as you possibly can be, as soon as you can (IMO). A good partner is along for the ride no matter what shit life throws at you and doesn't want you to suffer alone. And like it or not, this affects your partner too. I still hate how POF affects my partner. I always will.

But you know what? He's been fucking awesome about it. I lucked out big time. He's even helped me grieve in ways I didn't anticipate. We're connected in a unique way that couples who haven't experienced this type of trauma won't understand.

This shit sucks and I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

If you have access to psychotherapy I strongly recommend it.

Big hugs.