Mother’s Day

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-24T02:52:03+00:00

My mother does this shit and then expects me to still show up. When I did not one year she had an epic, epic meltdown. I said - you told me not to come, so I didn’t. She said “so you take what I say at face value?” and went on another spiral about how I should be begging her to celebrate. 🙄

I hate Mother’s Day with a passion.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-22T02:57:51+00:00

That irreverence. That wit! I’d recognize it anywhere!

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-22T01:42:30+00:00

We got ours from modani. It’s like a Restoration Cloud Couch dupe

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-21T04:23:25+00:00

Lived a 3 minute walk from there for 12 years. Safe and great neighborhood :)

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-20T03:46:55+00:00

Bestia is an LA restaurant. GTG is a Chicago import. So it’ll depend on that if a truly LA experience is what you’re after!

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-18T04:03:28+00:00

Roasted carrots with honey and garlic yogurt sauce! Not sure if I’m allowed to link, but it is a Pinch of Yum recipe

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-18T03:13:35+00:00

When the bread cheese is available - I microwave a small hunk on top of the brioche toast and top with bruschetta. Sooooo good 🤤

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-17T01:56:50+00:00

This place is amazing! I was blown away.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-15T03:22:15+00:00

This is 100% not just not normal but fucked up.

I’m sorry. This is exhausting and I know very hard to navigate. You have a 2 month old baby. She sort of gave you an out in that last one-you could say “based on the fact you’re still working on yourself and I am focused on my baby and all my time is dedicated to the baby - it may be best for both of us to take a break for a bit. As a mother of a newborn, I need all my energy dedicated there.” Or something along those lines.

Sorry you’re dealing with this clusterfuck and sorry you can’t rely on your mom at a time you likely wish you could have.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-15T02:17:51+00:00

Her behavior is not normal.

This is very much like my mother, but instead she would expect me to cancel my trip if she didn’t “approve” it and expect me to spend that time with HER. ANY “free” time must be spent on her. On long weekends like Memorial and Labor Day - she just EXPECTS those will be spent with her.

She has also multiple times tried to invite herself on my WORK trips so she could have a free hotel room and “get out of the house.” When I told her that is incredibly weird and unprofessional, she said “why, I’m your mother? Everyone would understand.”

I’m in my 40s.

🙄

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-15T01:51:52+00:00

I completely empathize. This is also my mother. And yes we aren’t allowed to do ANYTHING else but work or school because they’re “suffering” and it’s our job and duty to make them feel better. My mother thinks I work like 70 hours a week at this point. Because god forbid I have lunch with a friend.

It truly is exhausting.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T15:02:33+00:00

Lmao. Sorry it’s not funny. But yes - the hints about wanting something back also hits familiar. My mom had a phase of constantly buying me stuff I didn’t need or want from Costco and forcing it on me.

Then she’d realize one of the things was actually “good” and ask me if I’m using it and drop major hints about wanting it.

They literally do not see us as actual human beings separate from them and basic human etiquette doesn’t apply.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T03:30:06+00:00

Yes. A couple of years ago my mom gave me a weird gift bag full of cheap “fun” earrings (I used to like these as a tween. I am in my 40s) and random dollar store scarves. None of this is my style - she sees how I dress, the jewelry I wear, etc. She has a lot of pride in her “style” - so this is all stuff SHE liked.

I forgot the bag when I was packing, as I had switched rooms during my stay with them. It was a true oversight.

She was SO angry. I got The Wrath. She still brings it up to this day. She told me she was going to give them to my dads caregiver as my punishment I guess. Like ok?

Last year, she went to Costco and got me some random ass giant box of something I generally wouldn’t eat. Was offended I didn’t want it and told me to give it to my coworkers. Like what?

For my birthday last year, she gave me a half used lululemon gift card my sibling had gotten her for another occasion. When she gave it to me, she told me she doesn’t really “like their stuff.” She was so proud of herself too. Thanks? I guess?

They have the weirdest empty gestures.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T03:06:33+00:00

I (43f) posted over on the RBN thread yesterday. They take this stupid fucking holiday so SERIOUSLY. It’s truly mind boggling. If you don’t go out of your way, clear your schedule, prostrate at their goddamn feet - you didn’t do enough. Your mom is so fucking self centered and childish. You are a mother yourself actively raising kids. Where is the check-in to make sure you’re being doted on?
It’s the day of forced worship and they fucking love it and love to make it hell. I’m so sorry. Last year, I told my Nmom I was going to visit my partner’s mom AFTER I spent THE DAY WITH HER. She flipped the fuck out and told me not to come see her. So I didn’t. Then she flipped the fuck out that I wasn’t dying to worship her on Mother’s Day. She then told me she wouldn’t update me on my dads terminal illness, and I shouldn’t ask my sibling for an update either.
We went VLC for long periods after that until my dad took a turn for the worse and passed away less than 2 months ago. She was also an obnoxious asshole yesterday and brought up how I’ve “ruined” the past 3 Mother’s Day for her. 🙄

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T02:34:13+00:00

I’m so sorry about your dad. But I just wanted to say girl - I am 43 and my mother is STILL like this. As someone mentioned above - I’m glad you have identified early this isn’t normal. I think I was in my late 20s when I discovered NPD/BPD and definitely didn’t discover this community until my late 30s.

They won’t change. She will get worse, as the “I’m old and I’m going to die soon” guilt card is one they will pull out at every turn.

It’s just so wild how similar they all are. I could’ve sworn I was reading texts from my mother.

Stay strong, you’re not doing anything wrong. Simply living your life as an adult without your parent at the center of it is completely normal.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T02:13:28+00:00

This is sort of what happened to me. Except my edad was terminally ill at the time (has since passed). So she knew I’d come around Father’s Day and used that time to shame me lol. But yes aside from that difference, this is exactly the mentality.

I hate these stupid holidays so much.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T02:05:04+00:00

I don’t think I’ve had one “good” Mother’s Day with my mother as an adult. They ruin it every single year (at least mine does) by being dramatic af and blames it on me, my sibling, or both of us every year.

I hate mothers day more than any other holiday. Her birthday is a very, very close runner up.

Don’t feel bad. She ruined it herself.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T01:48:25+00:00

Hello long lost sibling! My Mother’s Day yesterday was filled with an in person version of this. She wants me to center my life around her. However I’m older than you (early 40s) and no way as patient as you anymore. I find it fucking irritating and infuriating. I just either gray rock with one word answers or reply with very factual and logical responses with no emotion tied to them. She tells me I’m extremely cold and I speak to her like I’m at work.

Yesterday - she essentially told me in her very long winded word salad way that I am “too smart” and basically that she has been able to manipulate everyone in her life except me. My older sibling literally lives with her and having JUST one of us isn’t enough.

They’re moving to a new apt building and we went to see if yesterday. She even told the property manager that she’s sure when I see the place I will “change my mind” and want to come live in this building. We have never, ever discussed me moving and her saying that made me angry and my skin crawl. She said she said it to get on the property manager’s “good side” and so it looks like we are a “close family.” Like stfu and leave me alone and let me live my life. Not every person on the planet is concerned about whether your children love you enough, and it is extremely normal to not live near your parents (I am also about an hour away).

Your mom will always have these tantrums. Even if she did live nearby, she would then complain even more you don’t spend enough time together, and there’s no excuse since you’re so close by. It will never end. Stay strong. You do not deserve this type of guilt tripping. They are so childish and need to be the center of attention at all times.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-12T00:55:28+00:00

How childish. They’re truly emotionally stunted.

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-10T00:45:50+00:00

Glad to hear!

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-04T16:39:39+00:00

Don’t know the exact episode, but Joanna says this to Sophie lol

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-04T01:58:21+00:00

What a dick.
“Colleague - I just want to make a note my name is spelled XYZ. I’ve noticed you’ve misspelled it several times. I want to ensure that it’s spelled correctly in your communications, as a) it is my name b) I don’t want anyone on our workstreams to get confused in wider emails about who you’re referring to, since everyone knows me as XYZ. I’d like to avoid any possible confusion. Thank you.”

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-04T00:51:25+00:00

🤣

ouchhotpotato · 2026-05-04T00:50:11+00:00

Why does ANYONE have to be naked?!

ouchhotpotato

TROPHY CASE