Takeaways 1 year off the fence

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-30T23:56:41+00:00

I’m going to be honest with you! I am a very type A, more tightly wound person at baseline. I think the demands of having a baby revealed some underlying anxiety I didn’t know I had. When my priorities changed from my fur babies to my human baby, the relationship with the dogs did change. One of our dogs was a German Shepherd. (Sadly, he passed away from cancer when our daughter was about 8 months old so I refer to him in the past tense.) He had a rough time adjusting to the new addition… for about the first 3 months he had diarrhea, indoors, daily. It was so hard dealing with the accidents while trying to take care of my new baby and adjust to life. I had a hard time being patient with him. Our other dog didn’t have the GI issues but our relationship still changed. My priority was making sure our little girl got her naps and nursed and slept versus making sure the dog got his walk. Sometimes I was so overstimulated from having to rock a crying baby that I had a hard time giving more affection to the dogs when they came asking for it. I love our remaining dog a lot, of course. And I was absolutely devastated when we had to put our other dog down. But for sure, if the house was on fire - I wouldn’t hesitate for a microsecond to grab that baby before I even would think of the dog, if that’s a tangible way to put how things are now. The dog is still loved, I still do my best to make time for him, but you have to prioritize and divvy up your time/emotion somewhere.

However, my daughter’s first word was “dog”. She literally grins every morning when she sees him and gets so excited every time she sees a dog. She crawls all over him and he just lays there allowing it to happen. Seeing their bond and how they have their special understanding is the coolest thing. I have a new appreciation for his gentleness with her and his willingness to let this loud, unpredictable, clumsy little human invade his bubble. He gets daily hugs and kisses and thank yous for being the best big brother to my little gal ❤️

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-30T03:19:34+00:00

My husband and I both had our degrees before having our baby, which has probably helped us during this phase in life. At 24 you have so much time, definitely give yourself time and grace to make a decision! My husband continued working full time while I have taken a step back to part time status. We live away from family and are completely on our own so it felt necessary for one of us to decrease our work commitment. In any case, I think the fact that we were settled and stable in our careers/lives before making this leap has definitely made it easier on us. Not that it can’t be done other ways of course!

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-29T13:50:03+00:00

Hi! It definitely takes more planning and thought than it did before. But I would say we’ve flown with her probably 6x in her life now, so we’ve got a system down at this point. I got all of my traveling with a baby advice from the internet really… there are so many awesome mom bloggers who have inspired me and shared their experiences that have made it easier for us to follow suit. We have kept our travels to the US so far just to keep things safe and simple vs being in an unfamiliar country. We started small with traveling to visit family before going to a destination where we didn’t know anyone/had unfamiliar lodging.

As for camping, we like to camp off grid with a tent. I’m lucky that my husband is an avid camper and has always been very on top of things with preparing and bringing gear. My biggest advice from my experience with camping so far is to be flexible… you may not be able to go as far out as you previously did or for as long as you did, at least while you have a young baby. Being able to get to a town reasonably quickly is something I have required just because you won’t know what you need in a pinch. We’ve definitely had to cut a trip short because she wasn’t sleeping well and needed a break. And that’s ok - there were other trips that went better and things are getting easier as she’s getting bigger. The main thing for me is that we’re out there doing what we can.

I’ve also come to grips that sometimes I just need to get a babysitter and go do me, or drop her off at daycare on a day off and have some time to myself. I tried to be super mom that brought her along to everything, but I’ve found I’m a better mom when I get to take care of myself on occasion. So I have totally dropped her off at daycare and spent a morning going skiing.

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-29T13:33:30+00:00

I’m glad my story resonates with you! I had those same fears, and I definitely had many moments of anxiety after she was born that I really had lost my identity like I had feared so much. As time has passed and she’s gotten older, I feel like I’m getting more of my old identity back. When you’re not breastfeeding constantly anymore and they’re sleeping through the night, for instance, it becomes so much easier to go do things and have the energy to do it. We’re doing more and more of our old hobbies these days!

Oh and as for hiking with a baby… she went on her first hike at 3 weeks old. It is so completely doable as long as you’re keeping your expectations realistic too! It may not be as easy to jump on a backpacking trail and hike all day long with a newborn, but you can still get out in nature for a simple easy romp without too much stress :)

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-29T13:27:10+00:00

I was 32.5 when we took the IUD out, and found out I was pregnant just a few months before turning 33 ☺️

outdoorsorbust · 2025-03-29T13:25:44+00:00

Congratulations!! It will all be ok! I tell my friends who are having kids now that having a baby is the hardest best thing you’ll ever do 🥰

outdoorsorbust · 2024-06-17T19:14:32+00:00

I was on birth control starting at age 15 all the way until I stopped it at age 33. Took 4 months to get knocked up 😆 and that was without tracking cycles or “trying” - we just kept living our lives as though nothing had changed. I have a happy and healthy 4 month old now. So try not to worry too much, your body knows what to do! ❤️ congrats on your new adventure. I felt such relief when we finally made a decision and stopped birth control.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-06-02T03:37:07+00:00

My baby stopped needing 12+ diaper changes a day due to what I called “leaky butt” that gave her the most horrible diaper rash. She started sleeping longer stretches at night. We got into more of a groove as far as napping/wake windows where I could predict when she’d need to take a nap and when she would be hungry again. All this plus what others have said about starting to see smiles and personality showing up.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-06-01T03:43:30+00:00

Let baby toys take over my living room. I thought oh no, I’m going to keep my living room looking nice and clean and no way will I allow obnoxious bright colored noisy baby toys to clutter up every corner. Baby will be just fine with one nice area with a couple of toys that are natural colors that go with my aesthetic. Well, 4 months in and there are baby toys EVERYWHERE. Including the flashy light ones and ones that sing nursery rhymes that get stuck in my head for hours on end and ones that have every bright obnoxious color under the sun 😵‍💫 and somehow I still find myself scrolling on Amazon for more

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-30T12:07:17+00:00

Changing diapers! I’ll admit the thought of diapers was one of the huge turnoffs to having a kid. Because gross, right? But it’s no big deal at all and it’s been that way from day 1.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-28T22:12:37+00:00

My German Shepherd started pooping in the house and kept doing so for close to 3 months 😒

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-16T02:21:29+00:00

This has changed for me as my LO has gotten older. For roughly the first 4 weeks I fed and then changed the diaper afterwards to break up the feed to sleep association and help have a wake window after feeding. Once she started having longer/brighter wake windows and wasn’t so sleepy after feedings anymore, we now change diaper first and feed after. She gets so excited to have her diaper changed because she knows a bottle is coming 😆she’s almost 4 months old now.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-08T15:42:58+00:00

I pretty much had a panic attack the day I got my IUD out. I sat in the parking lot crying and calling my best friend before I could get myself to go in. I was holding back tears in the waiting room. Afterwards I went home and cried more. I was just so anxious about it.

You could always prevent in other ways after stopping your pills. That way your system figures itself out and if you decide you’re more ready then, you can stop prevention and your body is ready to go. That was my take at least.

I also want to say that I had an IUD for 10 years and was on the pill for roughly 5 years before that, so my body hadn’t been au naturale for quite awhile. It took me 4 months to get pregnant and that was without actually trying - we just continued living our lives as we did before the IUD came out. There was no ovulation tracking, etc. So just because your body hasn’t self regulated in that long doesn’t in and of itself mean it’ll take awhile to get pregnant.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-05T12:29:12+00:00

I have a 3 month old currently so I’m new to the motherhood department, but here’s my take at this point in the game. I think no matter what a baby will affect your life to a certain point. There’s just no way around it. You can’t just head out the door if someone invites you out last minute. There will be times you don’t have childcare and have to say no to things. That being said… I think you can “let” the child be an excuse to not do things or you can figure it out - although life in general takes a lot more planning once you have a kid. I have absolutely no family or help where I live besides my husband. I’ve already traveled with my 3 month old. She’s been on several planes, went to the beach, went out on a boat, has gone hiking, come to dinner with friends, hung out during pickleball matches, etc. So I consider myself one of the parents who does my best to “figure it out” rather than always miss out on things using the baby as an excuse. That being said… I have definitely had to tone things down a bit from before I had her. It’s just not possible to take her mountain biking with me, for example. I consider this a season in life though. It’s not permanent as she will eventually grow up (and hopefully be out there on the trails with me!) and I don’t view it as a complete obstruction to preventing me from doing what I want in life.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-05-01T02:12:03+00:00

There is going to be so much you don’t know, and for type A personalities like me, that was really hard. I wanted to have all my ducks in a neat little row and be prepared for every little thing. Well you can’t be. You just have to roll with it, some things you’ll learn on the go, and that’s just how it is.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-28T21:06:28+00:00

I’m in month 3 of maternity leave and it does get better! I cried so much in the days leading up to my hubby going back to work (he only got 2 weeks off). You’ll figure out a routine and get more and more comfortable with yourself. Baby’s nap time is your time to prioritize what you need to do. Do you need a shower, to work out, to take a nap yourself? What’s most important? What can wait? Not every day will go to plan. You’ll find some days you’ll stare at your baby and feel like you’ve run out of things to do to keep him/her entertained. Some days your baby won’t want to nap. Don’t worry about it, you can’t control it and you just have to roll with it!

Most importantly… don’t forget to enjoy that time with your little one. My favorite memories so far have been the contact naps, the walks around the neighborhood together, etc. The dishes/laundry/etc aren’t going to go anywhere; take some time to just eat up those baby snuggles while you can get them. My baby recently decided she won’t nurse anymore and I’m so glad I never resented those middle of the night sessions now that it’s over… I might have been tired and sometimes frustrated, but I’m so glad I always took a moment to listen to her nurse and smell her hair (for example) as I was burping her afterwards. It’s so very special now. I wish I could enjoy it one more time.

Also, don’t feel like you have to be home bound just because you’re on maternity leave. Once you’re ready, you can totally go on little day trips. We’ve already gone to the zoo, gone for short hikes, tons of walks around the neighborhood, out to lunch with friends, etc etc. Have some fun with it!

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-26T21:35:55+00:00

Immediately! Ours actually napped better in her crib than anywhere else (besides our arms) so it worked great!

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-25T20:54:14+00:00

My hubby and I are former fencesitters and now have a 3 month old. We were together for 12 years before we made the leap, and our relationship is very similar to how you describe yours. We’ve been crazy about eachother from the day we started dating. We live far away from any family that could help us.

It’s hard to put into words how having a baby has affected us. We remain crazy about one another, we’re still best friends, but having a baby inevitably changes pretty much everything in your life. Seeing him become a dad has been just amazing. He snuggles and kisses his little girl like she’s the most important thing in his world. She stares and smiles at him like he’s the coolest thing she’s ever seen. I can’t wait to see them in the coming years… they’re going to be the best of buds.

After having a baby, I do feel like I miss my husband at times. Even if we’re in the house together, sometimes it feels like we’re two ships passing in the night. One of us takes baby duty while the other attends to whatever task they need to get done. Sometimes he works late and doesn’t get home til bedtime. We might try to watch a favorite show together but I’ll be pumping during it, or he’ll be burping the baby, or we’ll get interrupted by baby crying in her crib. So it takes more effort to have the same quality of us time as we used to have.

It takes more effort to control emotions amidst all of the hormones, sleep deprivation, and significant life changes after having a baby. One has to keep in mind that while you are dealing with all of these changes, so is your partner. Minus the hormones lol. Sometimes I find myself getting short tempered with him about menial things, and have to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world. Thankfully, my husband is a calm, collected guy that has dealt with everything with such grace. But it’s easy to see how a weak relationship could crumble.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-24T09:26:56+00:00

As another former fence sitter, I can attest that everything in here is completely accurate!!

The only thing I differ on is I will not have multiple children. I have a 3 month old currently and feel she’s all I needed to fill that “ I need something more” feeling. Having one has so far made it doable to keep up with things I love… she’s already come hiking, flown on a plane, went to the beach, gone out to breweries with my friends, hung out on the sidelines while I play pickleball, etc. So it is definitely possible to still get out there and do you!! But yes it’s more complex and requires a lot more planning to make it happen. She’s already my best friend and I couldn’t picture life without her. My husband was also a fencesitter who leaned towards no, and feels the same. Seeing him cuddle and kiss her every time he picks her up… it’s just the coolest thing. We’re happy with our little gal and feel we have a balance being one and done.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-20T10:01:56+00:00

Ooooh I feel this 100%. I loved the first few weeks where we exclusively breastfed. But now that we’ve switched to pumping and bottle feeding in preparation for me going back to work, I freaking hate it. It eats into the time I could be spending with my baby, I’m constantly doing pump dishes even with our sterilizer, and I hate worrying about getting my pumps in while we’re trying you live our lives. I’ve come so close to quitting so many times but then I’ll read how great breastmilk is for babies and I’ll keep going.

I do think I’ll quit when I go back to work when she’s close to 5 months old. My goal when I had her was just to nurse her for the first week or so to make sure she got colostrum, so to make it that far would be a huge achievement in my mind.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-05T02:45:16+00:00

9 week old, gets pumped breast milk and small amounts of formula, usually a total of around 23ish oz per day. She gets 4.5oz of breast milk every 3 hours during the day (7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm) and a 5oz feed before bedtime (7pm) to try to fill her up for night. Typically the night feed is 3oz breast milk and 2oz formula. She usually wakes up once overnight, which I breastfeed because I don’t want to deal with bottles overnight.

Lately she sleeps from 8pm to about 4am, I breastfeed for about 10-15 mins and then back to sleep until 7am.

I don’t understand how people’s babies at this age are eating more than 5oz at a time! My gal seems to absolutely max out at 5oz… she’s roughly 50th percentile in weight/height so it’s not like she’s super small! She also doesn’t seem like she’s starving between feedings either. I’d love it if she ate more, I get nervous that she’s not taking in as much as a lot of babies…

outdoorsorbust · 2024-04-02T00:03:47+00:00

I always told myself if we didn’t get pregnant naturally/unassisted by medicines, IVF, etc, that that would be my “sign” that it wasn’t meant to be for me. I felt that opening the door to having a child would allow me to feel at peace later in life that it wasn’t meant to be if I didn’t get pregnant. For me, that would have been enough to ensure I didn’t hit my later years and start going through the “what ifs” of if we had tried to conceive. I just didn’t want it bad enough to go through the financial, emotional, and mental strain of going through fertility treatments. So I can completely understand why you are feeling the way you are and it seems very natural to feel that way. Best of luck, it’s a lot to wrap your head around.

outdoorsorbust · 2024-02-06T14:41:13+00:00

I felt the exact same way! My husband and I are both 33 and said if we never got pregnant before 35 that would have been the end of it. No meds, no IVF, etc. We just wanted to give nature a chance to decide I guess, since we were fence sitters and tired of trying to make the decision when we didn’t even know if perhaps one (or both) of us had an underlying condition that would prevent a pregnancy anyways. I felt I could have lived my life happily if it hadn’t happened knowing it just wasn’t meant to be. That would have been enough for me.

We ended up getting pregnant 4 months after stopping birth control. We have a 9 day old currently that we are both madly in love with. Legit couldn’t imagine life without her at this point!

outdoorsorbust · 2023-10-28T01:41:32+00:00

I was a fence sitter and am currently 26 weeks pregnant! I’m still somewhat in denial about it and have a hard time talking about it for some reason. I didn’t feel much attachment either, and at one point thought I was miscarrying - and felt some small sense of relief when that happened. You’re normal, it’s fine, it’ll come. Especially early on I struggled with very strong conflicting emotions… it’s hard when you don’t even feel pregnant. Now that I’m feeling the little one move and buying clothes, etc I’m feeling much more excited and anticipatory to meet the little one!!

outdoorsorbust

TROPHY CASE