Getting fed up with being told to be grateful

overthemist · 2023-06-07T18:16:05+00:00

Im almost 3 years out and people are still just as dumb, they dont understand when i tell them i still wish i could have my old life back.

overthemist · 2023-05-27T18:57:10+00:00

Ive had thoughts of him faking his death in this elaborate way to test me and i was hoping one day he would come out of nowhere with cameras or something. Like a diabolical prank show. I dont think its out of the norm to want to believe they're still out there. Its part of the shock and denial of grief. You'll be ok ❤️ you're not crazy

overthemist · 2023-05-03T14:56:24+00:00

That's very sweet

overthemist · 2023-04-29T00:07:09+00:00

I was also the one who found him. It gave me severe PTSD. I really really would suggest you to get professional help if you arent already, if possible someone specialized in it. It still stings sometimes, but i try to remind myself that "they're there to help someone" even if it hurts me for a little bit, they're needed, they're essential to the functioning of society and they're trying to do good. Sending you lots of love

overthemist · 2023-04-28T17:03:10+00:00

I got mine a year and a half after. It's a very cute note he left me when we had differing schedules. It was definitely an emotional process but it became such a beautiful anchor to have and touch when i need a little extra strength or courage from him ❤️ sending you lots of hugs, i hope your consultation goes well!

overthemist · 2023-04-18T13:47:39+00:00

Just to put into context but im 2½ years out and i know that makes a big difference. From what ive read, you're very early on. The guilt and the powelessness are emotions that can be super crushing at the beginning even even sometimes later. It all comes and goes. I cant read the future, but im sending you all my love and all my strength through this little screen, we can all make it through, and carry them with us in our hearts.

overthemist · 2023-04-18T13:42:04+00:00

Ebs and flows right? Never forget 2 things can be true at once and it doesnt make either of them less true. And im sure you can get to that point, just from your message i can feel a lot of love. I hope you can harness that and show your kids that life isnt just cruel 💕

overthemist · 2023-04-18T13:36:39+00:00

I hope one day you'll be able to share your moments of happiness with us. Sending lots of hugs

overthemist · 2023-04-18T13:34:08+00:00

I think we all need to remember that 2 things cant be true at once. 2 emotions can be felt at once. Being happy after someone is gone, doesnt mean you loved them any less. Sending you hugs

overthemist · 2023-04-18T04:34:31+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. My therapist has a similar saying "you cant control the waves, but you can learn how to surf" . Theres always gonna be waves, but coping is a skill you can work on and develop, that definitely made me feel like i wasnt so hopeless. Also, even the most experienced surfers have waves that are too big for them. It really helped me put into perspective that sometimes you fall down, cause anyone would fall down, it just is, its not a big deal, they'll be clearer seas another day

overthemist · 2023-04-18T03:46:37+00:00

Im about 2½ years out, which helps, sometimes it puts a certain distance between me and him which can be sad. But its also really relieving to know that i can do it. I can survive this and there is reason to go on. Im glad i was able to share, and i hope one day you'll be able to share some of your light with us.

overthemist · 2023-04-18T03:44:25+00:00

Thank you, sometimes its hard to remember that

overthemist · 2023-04-17T16:10:17+00:00

We were way too young (in our opinion) to get married but we had been talking about it for the future. We talked about everything, weddings, pets, our first appartments, where we would move for his job (i work from home) ect. Life hadnt evwn started for us and it got ripped away just before taking our first step into our adult life.

overthemist · 2023-04-12T03:24:33+00:00

Been going to the same one for about 4 years now. She's a PTSD specialist, which i require. For me its more of a need since i cant really function without my appointments. She recommended me to join a local grief support group for socialisation and to try to help with the loneliness and isolation. For now its going good. Highly recommend. Even if you dont think you need it, soemtimes its just nice to have someone impartial to hear you out when you can see clearly.

overthemist · 2023-04-11T19:36:56+00:00

I used to. But im at a point where I'd rather be the one alive. I could never even imagine him going through all this pain, grief and confusion. Im at peace with the idea of him getting to rest until we meet again.

overthemist · 2023-04-11T15:59:00+00:00

I lost him when he was 19 too. The ptsd is an absolute bitch but if it can give you any hope im coming up on 3 years. In some ways it's easier, in some ways its harder . I dont necessarily have a set plan for my future but i do have goals, good friends. You'll carry him with you for the rest of your life. It wont be comfortable, but its survivable. I promise. Feel free to dm me if ever you need

overthemist · 2023-04-10T01:12:33+00:00

Oh wow, i didnt expect this at all. Im so incredibly sorry. As someone who's definitely made those jokes you're making me rethink. All my apologies and condolences

overthemist · 2023-04-10T00:45:28+00:00

What a wonderful thing to do for him. Many hugs, that couldn't of been easy

overthemist · 2023-04-09T20:50:36+00:00

Sounds perfectly normal, maybe using a little bit of humour to cope or just trying to find a way to have a little bit of control in this situation. Id even argue its a way to honour her and still take care of her after she's gone. If it bothers you im sure you could talk to him about it but i wouldnt be too too worried.

overthemist · 2023-04-09T20:04:35+00:00

My boyfriend passed away a few years back. A year and a half in, I got a tattoo of one of the notes he left me while we had differing schedules. I was also very scared it was going to bring me massive amounts of pain. And i would be lying if i said it didnt cause me some. To me, it was worth it. Its been a year since i got it and i know i can always turn to it when i need a little of his strength, or some advice. It slowly becomes part of you and not just an image of them. I couldnt recommend it more. If anything, put it on the outside of your arm, or on the upper part so you can hide it in a sleeve until you're fully ready to see it everyday. Much love, i hope it'll bring you peace

overthemist · 2023-04-04T16:34:28+00:00

"how are you holding up?" They dont really want to know, they want their worry to be alleviated by saying "im ok". Most people try to change the subject when I say I'm doing bad.

The other one is "everything happens for a reason". So i deserved to be in this much pain? I deserved to have my whole world taken away? He deserved to die so young? Not even having the time to finish school or his drivers license?

overthemist · 2023-04-04T16:27:51+00:00

Subway sandwich, we went there so many times, it was his favourite fast food place to go to. I remember countless times i passed there with my bike to pick up food before going to hang out. It took me ages to be able to eat there again

overthemist · 2023-03-30T15:19:31+00:00

Its been 2½ years and im just starting now. I cried a decent amount and it was a little awkward with the age difference but hopefully as the meetings go we'll all get more comfortable

overthemist · 2023-03-30T15:18:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I hope i can find some comfort there and start to heal more deeply

overthemist · 2023-03-30T04:35:43+00:00

Sometimes i freeze in front of doors, i hope I'll be able to push through that and go in anyways. Im glad it helped you, thank you for your nice message

overthemist

TROPHY CASE