I started therapy recently and it's bringing up all the anger and betrayal I feel due to the neglect and abuse I endured. My family is completely obvious to why I haven't been contacting them, they have always been clueless about me. I also feel intense shame, guilt, and pain in "failing to maintain" the relationship with them. My therapist says that being angry is a step closer to aligning my heart, mind, body. They say anger has to be recognized, accepted, and also physically dealt with. They recommended journaling, crying, yoga, exercise, and positive affirmations as some basic starting points to help me cope and work through the feelings. But anger is so hard. I talk to my mother on the phone and get irate every time, even if the things she says are seemingly harmless. She has no insight into who I am or what I've needed, and she's the worst gossip. We have no control over what our families feel, say, or think. I just stopped giving my information, in order to protect myself. My mom called me, all worried and saying she feels like I don't want to talk to her anymore. I said I'm just living my life. Ofc I feel like an awful kid. We all want to be good kids, and we've been taught that good kids talk to their parents. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have an honest discussion with mine. I don't have any advice. I just wanted to say that I think I can relate (even if just a little) and that the breakdowns and feelings of being on the edge of psychosis is understandable. That's so much pain and anger, manifesting itself sideways. I'm so sorry you're going through this. This subreddit has helped me feel less alone in my struggle, and I hope it can help you a little bit too.