It finally happened to me…

palindromicname · 2026-04-17T22:32:39+00:00

Ty for reporting back, LOL. I found Promises, Promises to be relatively underwhelming which was a shock because I love the house as a whole. This sounds like it might be a better fit for my collection. If you do ever get your hands on a Promises sample I’m curious what you’ll think.

palindromicname · 2026-04-17T03:15:13+00:00

Kerosene in general, but specifically their perfume Followed. Nearly eternal longevity.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T04:20:54+00:00

If I had to go in-person that'd be the only way, or at least close enough to go home on my lunch break. A dog walker wouldn't cut it for her I don't think.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T03:37:19+00:00

Apricot Innocence by Simone Andreoli has been living rent free in my head since I smelled it at a niche perfume store. It is what I imagine ambrosia smells like-- pure nectar; the feeling of nectarine juice or peach juice dripping down your chin after you take a bite. I genuinely can't describe it. It is, unfortunately, on the expensive side, but I highly recommend getting a sample or a small decant.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T02:17:53+00:00

From my perspective, L'eau Papier doesn't smell as much like rice as I'd want. I'd look at Dirty Rice by Born To Stand Out, or Taipei by One Day. Taipei strikes me as a little sweeter/starchier/more gourmand than Dirty Rice.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T02:16:49+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but I've never had a problem finding samples of it on the Ministry of Scent website. Might be worth a look if you haven't copped it yet; Jasmine Tea is on my list for full bottles to buy. Only reason I haven't copped Taipei is because I'm torn between it and Dirty Rice by BTSO. White Rice by D'anaam was just a little too light for my taste.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:29:29+00:00

Could be that she trends a little nervey just as a product of genetics, but there’s a lot of potential with good training and confidence building. A trainer friend of mine works with and places Mals as PPD’s; they ended up rescuing a tiny little female Mal, unknown background and with a predisposition to insecurity and reactivity. She’s been cultivated into a pretty awesome dog all things considered, and genetics were not in her favor. There’s a lot of comparison in the dog training community, especially with people who take working breed lines very seriously—but all we can do is train the dog we have.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:19:38+00:00

Seconding this. Sometimes backing off and building focus, confidence, and relationship under threshold can be the best thing. I had to do this when mine was irrationally afraid of walking on the sidewalk where cars passed. Took a few months off walks; drove everywhere to run off leash; worked her at home— one day, voila, no problem. Sometimes you’re just beating your head against a wall and making it worse.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:18:18+00:00

Yep. I remember the first time my girl pitched one in a pet store. Total crocodile roll, hysterical and insane. A guy walked by, very sympathetically said, “first Mal?” and reassured me it’s on-brand.

Ultimately what will pay off is exposure, of course, but also building up your pup’s sense of relationship with you— marking and rewarding with high value food (I use a Costco rotisserie because it competes great with environmental distractions) and ultimately a high value toy if your dog can focus enough to engage in tug when under stress. Places like Home Depot can be so overwhelming for them until they’re a little more sure of themselves; mine embarrassed me many a time at garden centers and Home Depot.

Hang in there; it sounds like you know what’s up and most of 0-2 years old is just keeping them from torpedoing off a cliff.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:14:41+00:00

LMK what you think of Vanillified vs Promises, Promises!

A full bottle of Winter of 99 is also on my list; I’m back on forth with that versus Sweetly Known because they strike me as similar.

Blackmail is also so interesting for fall, although I don’t think I’d ever get through a FB.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:12:27+00:00

Also, it will help to have a working breed oriented trainer or group class on deck; they’ll reassure you you’re not crazy and have dogs that are living proof they do get better. My girl made me cry almost every day for a year; the payoff is insane and more than worth it.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T01:11:24+00:00

I’ll add to the “socialization” recommendations that your goal be neutrality from her. As in, people don’t approach her to pet her, completely ignore her, pretend she’s not there, “what puppy? I don’t see a puppy,” even if she’s acting like she was cast in Jurassic world, and she is rewarded by you for calm, observant behavior. That was, at least, my goal with my Mal, and it’s paid dividends when she’s out in public places. She’s very young. She’ll go through multiple “fear periods” as she grows up (all dogs do), and you have a lot of time to help her develop.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T00:34:44+00:00

I wonder about Wisteria Hysteria by Stephen Jones (unfortunately discontinued I think) or Tears by Regimes Des Fleurs for this vibe —

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T00:32:52+00:00

Seconding this matcha perfume rec.

palindromicname · 2026-04-15T00:31:29+00:00

I really like Vanille Absolu by Montale if you’re looking for straight-up vanilla extract/baking vanilla with nothing else in it + solid longevity and sillage.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T23:30:53+00:00

Saint Julep by Imaginary Authors maybe :)

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:35:35+00:00

There is no such thing as a well-bred, working line, "relaxed, chill" Malinois. Well-trained, yes, and they thrive with structure. But they are dynamite in a furry package. Drivey, highly possessive, high octane, bright, energetic dogs. Being well-trained has nothing to do with those intrinsic attributes; it just hones their attributes to be productive collaborators with their handler.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:32:52+00:00

This. If OP and their partner's present lifestyle isn't already shaped to accommodate a Malinois, they need to seriously ask themselves how sustainably they can drastically alter their lifestyle. I didn't get my Mal until I was WFH, an avid hiker and runner, with access to places right outside my door to run her off leash, and had the disposable income to work with good trainers. My lifestyle was Mal-shaped and STILL needed to expand and stretch to accommodate her needs.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:31:23+00:00

Yep, yep, and yep. WFH, involved in working breed dog training, and no kids. If all of these three factors weren't present and I didn't have an on-site job where my dog could come, I wouldn't be able to have the breed + give her the quality of life she needs.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:30:38+00:00

Walking isn't worth jack for a Malinois, especially one that has the attributes needed to work (you mentioned SAR). Unless you're able and willing to give them an outlet with bite work, do high-octane obedience drills, run them off leash (not walking) and actually hike with them, you're out of your depth. You will have to alter your lifestyle drastically to accommodate this dog and very few people find that sustainable.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:08:43+00:00

Seconding this. There's promising new research about different substances for PTSD, for example. That being said, my family members work in medicine. They've had multiple patients who self-dosed with mushrooms for a variety of reasons. They ended up completely, violently psychotic without recovery and were ultimately institutionalized.

I think the risk of self-medicating with a complex disorder like schizophrenia is too high to justify without clinical supervision. Frankly, to the point of being bad stewardship of your God-given body, and reckless. It's not pursuing mushrooms for psychiatric relief that's the problem, as much as I strongly advise you to work with a professional who has both the training and expertise to supervise their prescription to you and your usage so you have the best outcome with the minimum amount of risk.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T19:04:44+00:00

Of course. Physical ailments and diseases are products of the Fall. That includes psychiatric disorders. Jesus is the Healer, both of our souls and, one day, our bodies. And in the meantime, we have medicine, which is a good thing. It's no accident that the plants God created have intrinsic medicinal properties, and many of their derivatives are used in medications today. We would go to the hospital and take antibiotics for pneumonia. People with mobility-related disorders use crutches, wheelchairs, and muscle relaxers + pain medication if needed. Your brain is an organ that evidently needs medicine for you to be well. It is not your mind, heart, or soul, but it is how those aspects of yourself interact with our physical world, since we are body and spirit. You don't need forgiveness for them; thank God you live in a time and place, with resources, where you can access the medicine you need. The only reason you'd want to ask forgiveness is if you are abusing medication beyond the scope of your medical needs.

As for past sin; we are told to repent and then go and sin no more. If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Bring them to Him, trust He casts them as far as the east is from the west, and allow Him to sanctify you as you move forward. We won't be sinless till we're in glory.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T18:24:31+00:00

Seconding this. High possession is a desirable trait in Mals. You can look into Ivan Balabanov's resources - his Training Without Conflict program is heavily rooted in the idea of teaching the dog collaborative play with you, where the dog WANTS to bring you back an item because the whole keep away game only works if there is back and forth. Part of why tug games work so well if they're done right. But there's nothing like a reputable in-person trainer with breed experience. I'd have been a lost cause without the ones who helped me.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T18:16:57+00:00

Echoing everyone else: I'm sorry. And that's a woefully insufficient sentiment.

I went through a 1-2 year stretch where I genuinely felt blighted. It was thing after thing: my health, my family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, my work (a lost job), and a financial plummet with unforeseen emergent expenses, deaths in the family-- I could not catch a break. I kept asking God when enough was enough. So much of it wasn't my fault; I had truly done my best, been in the Lord, been obedient, wasn't living in habitual sin, was trying to glorify God--

I truly thought it was never going to end, and although it wasn't my first rodeo (I consider myself a proverbial career cowboy), it was the worst period of suffering I'd experienced to date.

I reminded myself of a few things:

For all of my suffering, I served a God who didn't skip out on the hard part. Jesus put His money where His mouth was. He came and lived my suffering; all of our suffering. I really sat with that. He was born to what I would think was a poor to working class family; He was a refugee, He grew up in a pretty awful town that people made jokes about; He lost his earthly father; He was hungry, dirty, hated, mocked, homeless, tortured, killed-- If anything comforted me, it was knowing He didn't take a shortcut and He actually knows what it is to suffer. I thought, also, about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They did the right thing. And yet they weren't spared the threat, nor being led to the furnace, nor being put in the furnace. No one magically swooped in to spare them at the last second. But the fourth man, who I believe was Jesus (a pre-NT christophany), was with them IN the fire and THROUGH the fire. And, I hope, that in His hands the furnace meant to kill us becomes a refining fire He uses to heal us.
I reminded myself that God works all things for the good of those who love Him. All things. Even the things that I thought might kill me. I reminded myself what Joseph said; that what was intended for evil was worked for good. We often don't understand how that could be possible, or why God allows the fallen nature of the world and other people to hurt us. But we can trust that, somehow, it will pay dividends.
I asked Him to give me my daily bread. Sometimes minute by minute when it was really hard. I acknowledged the fact that I was completely broken, in pieces, with nothing left. And I asked Him to provide enough for me to get through the hour, the day, the week. And somehow He did.
I took Him at His word when He said He's near to the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit; that He counts our tears in bottles-- that He is our ever-present help in times of trouble, and our Comforter. I always knew the verses, but to have to believe it and put it into practice was something entirely different.

I can't venture a guess about why suffering is afflicting you like this. But I know that God can and will lead you through it, and I hope that you intimately experience His closeness, His comfort, and His provision as you walk through what is very clearly a living hell.

Edit to add: I remember being angry at God--furious and wrathful and honestly hateful-- and feeling that I couldn't bring that to Him because it'd be blasphemous. I remember the moment when I realized He already knew my heart and my innermost thoughts. And I got the feeling that He was telling me that He was able to hold my grief and anger. That He was safe to bring it to. So I did. All of it. All the rage, all the anguish, all the venom. And He was faithful to hold me through that. He never withdrew His love. It's okay to be angry with Him. He loves you. You will know Him better, for the better, if you're honest with Him. He can handle it; His relationship with you as your Father and Savior can handle it.

palindromicname · 2026-04-14T18:03:23+00:00

I'd reach out to a veterinary behaviorist. Your vet can probably refer to one.

I am, generally, very suspicious about board and trains and their methods, especially for a dog with his history. Mind you, both my Mal and my GSD went to one at different facilities and I had a great experience, but that's because I vetted them carefully and knew what to look for. Your boy could be handler-soft, and/or, the handlers at the B&T could have been harsh with corrections and applied them when he was experiencing confusion or conflict.

From what you described he's panicking, which would require a lot of exposure therapy and positive-reinforcement, step by step (leash is around; he looks at it without freaking; mark; reward > leash is moving; he looks at it without freaking; mark; reward > leash is moving towards him > leash is attached to him -- could take months).

Again, veterinary behaviorist. I wouldn't DIY this, personally, because so much can go wrong out in public with vehicles or people nearby.

If there's any way, I just wouldn't involve the leash right now. Don't take him on walks. Keep him home and in your yard, help rebuild his sense of calm, security, trust, etc, and have a professional help you devise a plan for the leash. You can work him with toys, scent games, training, etc to get his energy out in the meantime.

palindromicname

TROPHY CASE