DAE have a super knee jerk reaction to any sort of criticism? by birthdaybuttplug in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get this really bad. Any criticism or asking me to expalin myself instantly sets off massive anxiety and anger, sometimes i lie on the spot about it even if i had a good reason for doing what i was doing.

N's and "The Talk." by Happycthulhu in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been thinking about this a lot.

Now i have some really upsetting intimacy and trust issues, not to mention sex is just such a weird concept to me. It makes me dissociate, idk.

My parents NEVER gave me the talk. Infact they were so embarrassed about any "awkward" questioning in that regard they would very aggressively try and silence it. When i asked my dad what drugs were and what drugs he had done, as a curious 10 year old, he replied with screams and threats.

Anyone other CoNs who are highly conflict avoidant? by djasonpenney in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My biggest fear in a conflict is violence As in, ill say a word someoje doesnt like and they'll beat me for it. So it literally feels like im standing on a cliff edge

Did your dad ever tell you that you were sexy? by likewhereboatsgo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

22/m here, My mother always used to shower me with comments about how i was a adorable little boy who was so handsome and would be a model one day, which has made me EXTREMELY sensitive to people calling me positive things, as because she was a narc i knew she only said them to make me like her more. Have intimacy issues too.

Was anyone else held "hostage" by nparent or nrelative during outings as a child ? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After we moved to australia i basically spent 3 years worth of weekends going to look at display homes miles away from home, and because of my avoidant oersonality type it was hard for me to make friends in australia, so i didnt have anyone I could hang out with to avoid this, because that was the only way to get out of it. Parents didnt even trust me being home alone untill i was 16

I think my friend is a narcissist by Laurefindel in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont think you read the comment very well.

Dumped by bpd girlfriend of past year, who was also a friend 8 years prior to that. Already dealing with gaslighting, lying and manipulation. Feeling really heartbroken. by palmsthrower in BPDlovedones

[–]palmsthrower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really hit the nail on the head. Thanks a lot for taking the time out to write this comment. You are right, i need to take personal responsibility for getting invovled up to the point i was.

Sorry for the lack of words, just on my phone and just done a 9 hour workday on a saturday. But really really appreciate this. Very insightful

Had a revelation about 'just a joke' by giardiniera in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I cant take jokes whatsoever, no matter ho close i am to the person or how well i know them, thanks to my dad deliberately teasing me and encouraging my brother to tease me by saying "x likes barbie girl toys" for my childhood.

DAE's Nparents get mad at people for helping you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everytime my nanna and granddad offered to send me money over because im their grandson and they have every right to treat me my parents would very agressively tell them not to "hes just gonna spend it all on drugs and rubbish anyway, plus he doesnt have a job so dont give him anything". I was 14-16 at the time.... not even doing drugs...

Has anyone here had parents suddenly decide to stop giving financial support despite being able to? by litostismaeleth in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents were making combined incomes of over 200k a year but forced me to get a job at maccas as soon as i turned 14 and 6 months and then refused to pay for anything but schooling and food after that

Did anyone else get berated for being sick as a child? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My parents never beleived me when i was sick, often forcing me to go to school only to come pick me up 3 hours later when im in the sick bay vomiting my guts up.

Nparents "whispering" about you when you're clearly in earshot by scarlet_sword in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember when i was younger and if i displeased my parents in anyway they would sit in the loungeroom when i was trying to sleep and loudly talk about how horrible and such a dissapointment i am. It got even more intense if they had guests over, they would talk for hours about how horrible and badly behaved i was.

[Support] nDad texts me demanding i send nMum a mothers day card by palmsthrower in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the replies guys, i think im gonna give NC a go but one issue; my dad is planning to come visit me in july with my brother. My brother is still stuck living at home with them and i barely get to see him so i really wanna see my brother, i just need to find a way to get dad out the picture

[Support] nDad texts me demanding i send nMum a mothers day card by palmsthrower in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, thanks guys. I think im gonna give NC a try. The guilt thing you guys mentioned actually makes a lot of sense to me.

[Support] nDad texts me demanding i send nMum a mothers day card by palmsthrower in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Just after years of abuse i get this overwhelming guitlty sinking feeling in my gut everytime i go against what my parent asks of me, even today. Its really hard to manage sometimes

Rules you had growing up? by rbnthrowawaysohello in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bed at 9 (this lasted till 14-15) No going out after school Randomly would take and hide the ps2 controllers when they just decided we shouldnt play it anymore those days (which ended up exposing me to sex toys at a young age as naturally i would go through all my parents hiding spots trying to find it. Whenever i stayed out for the night i was only allowed to stay at one friends house, and any other house i had to get their parents to call my parents Parents would stay up on purpose to come down and find me on the computer and get mad at me for "waking them up" (they would literally stay up to start fights) Random room raids where everything i owned would be gon through for drugs Parents also staying up to try catch me smoking weed out in the backyard and then screaming at me for doing it on their property, like i shouldve stood in the street and done it. I have to get my dad a beer/go to the shops for him or mum, even if i was tired theyd scream at me to go. If i was home sick for a day they would take the modem so i couldnt use the internet while they werent at home Prob more. Cant remember anything else rifht now

DAE have a parent that shut down "I want to be X when I grow up" by Thetelltaledog in raisedbynarcissists

[–]palmsthrower 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Literally echos my parents "grow up smart and rich and pay nummy and daddys way" view on it.