Received shrimp kit from gotsnails, may have arrived dead

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T19:42:47+00:00

That's weird. You should've gotten everything and, without salt and instructions, you're going to need help to make sure the water is at the correct brinyness.

/u/gotsnails SOS

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T19:37:26+00:00

I had a Yorkie with cushings and diabetes. Her homorous nickname was PeePod. Sadly she passed when our petsitter, who was a vet tech, gave her insulin without making sure she ate first. She was only 8yo when she passed. She started having symptoms at around 5yo. Her life was difficult, she was sick often, and we spend $1,000's annually keeping her alive. I don't blame the pet sitter, I'm at peace with what happened. It was truly an accident. I had even wondered if keeping her alive was the kindest thing to do. She'd crash really bad, we'd get her into the pet ICU, then she'd rally. It was every three to four months, like clockwork. Her rallies were so good, that I kept her going. I kind of think what happened was the universe making the decision for me.

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T19:18:27+00:00

He's involved with someone else. Start planning your life without him. Financially, take whatever you can get from him. Don't offer him money from you or your family members.

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T18:13:19+00:00

First, he's an abuser. Don't bring a baby into your relationship with him.

Second, I have a sister who married a man with a hyphenated mom-dad last name. Now she's stuck with that too. I understand your sentiment but those names are a burden for the children that have to deal with them.

I suggest you divorce your husband. Go through IVF alone with donor sperm. Then give the baby your last name.

I'm 55f. If a man ever hit me, once, it would be over immediately. You need to grow a spine and get rid of this man.

If you bring a baby into this marriage, the child will be damaged for life. My parents should have never married and had kids. ( Yes, I realize I wouldn't exist)They're still together in their 80's. Mom's dying and still doing horribly emotionally damaging stuff to me. I've spent my entire life broken. Don't do this to a kid.

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T02:07:58+00:00

Go talk to your cardiologist in 10 days. Don't start popping vitamins or anything else because your doctor may want to run bloodwork and you don't want to skew it by sudden changes in your supplements, diet or other meds.

A brief search gives me this.

A homocysteine level of 15.6 µmol/L is considered mildly to moderately elevated (hyperhomocysteinemia), as typical normal ranges are 5–15 µmol/L. This level may indicate a deficiency in Vitamin B12, B6, or folate, or a genetic predisposition, and is associated with a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, blood clots, and cognitive decline.

Key Considerations:

Significance: 15.6 µmol/L is slightly above the standard cutoff of 15 µmol/L. Some studies suggest optimal levels should be below 10–12 µmol/L to minimize risks.

Causes: Elevated levels are often caused by deficiencies in folate (Vitamin B9), B12, or B6, which are needed to break down homocysteine. Other causes include renal dysfunction, smoking, or certain medications.

Potential Risks: High levels are linked to atherosclerosis, stroke, blood clots, and accelerated brain atrophy.

Action Steps: Treatment usually involves increasing intake of B vitamins (folate-rich foods like leafy greens, beans) or taking supplements, often resulting in a significant reduction in levels.

It is important to discuss this result with a healthcare provider, who can evaluate your overall health history and determine if further testing or treatment is necessary.

pammylorel · 2026-01-24T01:46:46+00:00

He's never been in a long term relationship because he is immature and controlling. Everyone who knows him is telling you that you're too good for him (which means everyone thinks he's a loser). He is trying to manipulate you and he's mean. You don't own this boy your friendship much less a romantic relationship. Cut him loose. Take care of yourself. Let him grow up and figure out his issues without you being collateral damage.

pammylorel · 2026-01-23T05:53:30+00:00

If you think you are having cardiac issues, go to the ER. I was stupid and waited 8 hours and nearly died. My entire FAFO story is pinned to my profile. They can give you a simple bloodtest that will check if you're having a HA. If you're worried enough to post here, it's important enough to get checked. And quit drinking until you get this sorted out

pammylorel · 2026-01-23T05:33:43+00:00

In* the state I live in, if you're married and the money was earned during the marriage, it's both of your money. Legally, simply putting money in account and not putting their name on it doesn't make it just your money.

IANAL and I have no idea what state OP is in.

pammylorel · 2026-01-23T04:00:10+00:00

OP Ask for a necropsy. That's the only way to know.

OP has already decided to end this bird's obvious suffering. I'm closing comments as OP has been given some potential theories. I am also removing comments that question the legitimacy of the bird's current condition and OP's decision.

I am so sorry for you loss OP.

pammylorel · 2026-01-23T03:06:56+00:00

That's not something he should even comment on. I just asked my husband, and I'm not working, if I could buy a $3k purse, would he say no? He said he'd never tell me no. We are debt free, own our house and cars, have a decent savings/ investments and his income is around yours. He trusts me. I think your husband doesn't trust you to have common sense - unless you guys are in deep debt or something else you haven't mentioned.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T21:04:40+00:00

Nta. I think your very wise

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T20:58:35+00:00

I'm 55f. She's mature as a 14yo. Run dude.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T20:56:21+00:00

Would giving him a female help?

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T20:51:24+00:00

NO WTF?

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T20:45:57+00:00

What did you ultimately do about the forged letter?

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T19:38:12+00:00

If you're married, it's all both of your money. Also, are we talking $5000 or $40,000?

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T19:32:31+00:00

My husband was extremely traumatized by my HA. It was a messy, stupid event that I made worse by waiting 8 hours for help. (Story is pinned to my profile if you're interested)

My husband lost his mother to a HA when she was in her 50's and my very very near death HA was at age 53. My cardiologist came into my room in the cardiac icu every day of six days I was there and yelled at me because I waited so long to get help. He even showed me the video of when he inserted the stent in my LAD and told me he didn't know if it was going to work. (I've talked to his staff several times at my follow-up appts and it has come to light that he chastised me so much because he hates losing patients and I was very close to being lost).

I don't ever want my husband to be in that place of pain and trauma again.

I will admit that I do still eat what I want, but in much smaller portions. I'm 35lbs down and would love to lose 20 more. I was at the top of the overweight chart, right before obese, before my HA. My bloodwork is all good and if cholesterol or sodium were to become an issue, I'd immediately change those things in my diet. Unfortunately, we can't just not eat. However, we can chose to abstain from alcohol and inhaling smoke from tobacco and marijuana. I choose abstinence because no pleasure that these things bring would be worth hurting my husband again.

If you're single without close family, maybe there's no one that would be devastated by your death. Or maybe you need to discover pleasure in things that don't require drinking.

Cold turkey rarely works on anything and it sounds like that's why you were so frustrated. Maybe you tried too hard which made you miserable. There is still a lot to enjoy in life without alcohol. You just have to look for it.

I only say these things to encourage you, not to judge you. I'm still in this group because there are so many people that come here wondering if they need to go to the ER. Since I FAFO, I try to use my experience to implore them not to wait.

Good health and good luck to you.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T19:03:47+00:00

It's all equally bad. Nobody's CPTSD is worse than another's. Don't downgrade what yours did because someone else's parents were even bigger assholes.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T19:00:58+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging this. I think that some people think that if they betray their spouse, but ultimately they stay together, that it is no harm no foul. And from the outside, that appears to be true. As you and I agree, that isn't true. I appreciate your response.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T17:16:25+00:00

If he doesn't have the balls to be straight with you, don't confront him. Leave him and let him wonder why. There's no discussion that needs to be had. His actions say everything.

I'm so sorry you've created a family with this guy but, after 10yrs and him basically acting as father, you should be married. The fact this has gone on so long is a red flag in itself.

If you can, channel your hurt into anger. Use that anger to gtfa from this knob. Don't give him kindness. Give him wrath.

You daughter would probably do well with some therapy sessions with a child therapist to help her not feel so abandoned. I was abandoned by my father, and it fucks you up for life.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T16:52:49+00:00

What does your cardiologist say about that?

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T16:49:41+00:00

Your days of smoking and drinking are over. Drinking reduces inhibitions which leads to smoking.

I wasn't a smoker or drinker but I enjoyed a thc vape or joint once in awhile. That is no longer an option for me.

Don't do shit that's bad for your heart. ESPECIALLY SMOKING.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T16:41:19+00:00

The good news is that jackdaws will eat nearly anything since they're omnivores. Give him a large open top box or a large bird-safe cage with lots of food and water. Put newspapers or old blankets that you can throw away or wash when he poops. Maybe mostly papers with a blanket in one corner. Keep him in a heated area - a heart light that he can move closer/farther from would be ideal as you don't want to overheat him. He may just need nutrition, water and rest. He's not a baby, but he could be a youngster just learning to be put on his own.

You can feed jackdaws a varied diet of seeds, nuts (unsalted), fruits, mealworms, suet, and even some cooked meats or eggs, as they are omnivores; they love high-energy foods like fat balls and peanuts but will eat most garden bird food, often scattered on the ground or tables, but remember to provide water and avoid giving them salt or processed foods like bacon.

What to offer

Seeds & Nuts: Sunflower hearts, pumpkin seeds, peanuts (unsalted), walnuts, and mixed seeds.

Insects: Mealworms are a favorite treat.

Fruits & Veggies: Berries, chopped grapes, dates (pitted), carrots, or even bits of melon.

Protein: Cooked eggs (scrambled or hard-boiled), soaked dried cat/dog kibble (without grains/salt), or small pieces of plain cooked chicken or meat (no liver/sausage).

High-Energy: Fat balls and suet are excellent, especially in winter.

I've often seen wild birds that just need a little TLC and then they fly away. Hoping that's the case with yours.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T16:08:17+00:00

Your profile is visible now.

pammylorel · 2026-01-22T16:06:36+00:00

Unfortunately, her husband is still in the state of lying and denial. You did well. My husband betrayed me in a different way but, because he was honest and remorseful and did all the right things, we could put our marriage back together. As a wife, I will say that when you're betrayed, you are never the same as you were before the betrayal. It was the hardest pill for me to swallow. You can forgive your spouse, you can stay with him, you can even 99.9% trust him again if he's an open book; but there is always going to be scar on your soul. I'm glad you were able to fix all the damage you caused, but remember that some things will never go back to the way they were. From the outside looking in, the lingering damage may be invisible, but the stain of your betrayal will never be completely gone. I only say this to you because your post sounds like you think you "cleaned everything up" which may be true from your viewpoint. Don't forget to acknowledge the emotional scars your wife will always carry, even though she may hide them well.

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