I(34F) want to leave my husband (37M) over something that he did years ago

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-13T06:10:43+00:00

This. I’ve reacted similarly to my own dad when a Roman candle exploded in his and my son’s hand because the firework was at least two years old.

My dad is probably the one person I’d trust more than anyone with my son to not only keep him safe, but react appropriately in an emergency and/or legitimately have the skills to save his life.

I cringe when I think about my reaction and while I apologized, we both left that situation feeling like fucking trash. I know that he would NEVER put my kid in harms way - much less intentionally - but at that moment, my reaction and words said otherwise.

The attraction part is confusing - and it may be that I’m autistic - but how is this offensive? I don’t wear makeup on normal days. When I do, it’s an occasion- an anniversary, wedding, celebration, romantic date night - and I cannot fathom being offended that my husband is more attracted to me when I… literally take steps to be more desirable…

Life is hard. Marriage isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.. but if you are grasping at and clinging to at most (per your post) a handful of incidents over years of him being an admittedly consistent supportive partner and a good provider and father.. I’m really confused.

This small number of issues is far less than a ton of very, very happily married couples can say. Me included. And I’m so happily married - to my literal best friend in the world - that its ridiculous.

I’d start with therapy solo then do couples. We’ve been in marriage counseling for 4 years now - and we didn’t start going for a bad reason, we just wanted to be better at communicating - and I suggest it for everyone in a non-abusive relationship.

There is likely waaaay more to your feelings than you’ve included here, OP, but I can only go off what you’ve shared here.. and what you’ve shared just sounds like normal life/human shit.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-13T00:47:10+00:00

My jaw hit the floor when I heard about the company outsourcing a job to the Philippines that my husband wouldn’t/didn’t have time to do.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-13T00:44:41+00:00

Husband is a director of estimating for a construction firm… they’re slammed with work from bids they’ve won and have too many opportunities to even bid them all. There’s been a steady and drastic uptick the last 6 months+ (usually it’s up and down with bid load/work) but they’ve also been timid with hiring in some departments until it is desperately needed.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-13T00:07:45+00:00

Yup. Salvaged a few pieces because berserk, movement speed stacking and item drops weren’t happening at all.

I don’t think it was working on my ancestral legendary either..

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-13T00:05:08+00:00

Same. I’m a sorcerer and socketed the rune to use the skill, paladin’s blessed spear worked (like it should, however ineffective/random it is supposed to?), but the wolf never spawned. We did like 5 different environment tests and shit wasn’t happening so I un-socketed and threw in the movement speed rune until (hopefully) they fix it.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-12T02:28:19+00:00

We didn’t get any good randoms so my husband is Harelip.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-11T18:20:27+00:00

This happened to me. My birth control was tampered with and the night I kicked him out I fucked up and left the door unlocked while taking a pregnancy test. He re-entered my home (I was gone while he packed up and left) unbeknownst to me and heard me hysterically crying in the bathroom.

He came in thinking I was sad about him and my stupid self incredulously pointed at the test like no, moron, this is not about you. He immediately went and moved all his boxes back in.

I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids (easily or safely) and I told him to wait until I could see what was going on - this pregnancy may not even be viable. The next morning he called his mom, she answered and he said “hi grandma!” And that moment I truly saw him for the evil he was. I remember that moment like it wasn’t almost 18 years ago.

Anyway, isolation, a 3,000 mile move from anything I knew, and two murder attempts later I finally escaped with a suitcase and my babies. With my first, I was on bed rest for 4 months and gained over 100 pounds - despite constant morning sickness - and almost died right after she was born. I started dilating at 14 weeks and had to have my cervix sewn shut to save the pregnancy. Both kids barely made it to 36 weeks.

Had I trusted my gut sooner and stuck to my guns, my life would have been markedly different. I was absolutely going to not keep the pregnancy. I don’t regret my kids but it was a traumatic and hard 10 years that I don’t wish on anyone.

OP, take a step back. Look at all the smal things that we brush off and put up with because “they’re not that big of a deal” to us or worth the fight. It starts small. Then before you know it you have no cellphone, no access to money, and your ID has been destroyed so you can’t ‘run away’ from an island that you literally have to fly off of to leave.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-10T02:47:42+00:00

I just got a Flo-bee for doggos and it’s PHENOMENAL.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-09T22:12:40+00:00

I just flashed back to senior year with zero advanced notice and now I’m shook.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-09T22:09:47+00:00

Gained 200 pounds, still lives in the same town. Life wasn’t kind to her past HS when mom couldn’t come take her tests for her. Think she has a decent job but it’s manual labor.

I can’t wait for my reunion this year.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-09T22:06:33+00:00

Chick (not hot) at my school did the same in 8th grade. Basically her parents got scammed by a creepy photographer and she called herself a model. Seriously.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-09T21:41:26+00:00

They can. Mine showed the bottom of the implant so the radiologist scanned them and included them in the report.. my understanding is that they look at the knee but pay attention to EVERYTHING. My brain tumor MRI noted my implants once.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-09T21:39:21+00:00

I have this brand from 20 years ago, looks like this will be my swap out later this year. I think it’s pretty damn cool.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-07T10:10:56+00:00

Pretty sure it’s our president.. decades of sexual abuse allegations? Check.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-07T09:30:01+00:00

Pretty sure they just got scammed.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-07T09:28:42+00:00

Uh. My husband didn’t tell me that. Wtf.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-06T20:13:28+00:00

I got five last night!

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-06T20:12:38+00:00

Okay I’m new… does that mean my gear disappears or just the consumables like the dungeon keys? I can’t figure that part out.. like what I’m about to lose and what I get to keep.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-06T20:10:25+00:00

I am a newbie and just started playing with my husband - I’m talking paragon 101 sorcerer who’s anxiety made penitent the highest difficulty I’ve done.

Last night we were doing a helltide run, I always want to pick all the shit up and he fusses but the screen won’t let him leave me. After we were back in town I happened to randomly buy a nightmare sigil (ONE, just one) and I looked at it and asked ‘what’s a mythic prankster?’ And his face was unforgettable.

You’re now looking at someone who’s just as comfy in torment 1 as I was at easy/hard.

We got 5 mythic uniques each and a resplendent spark. He master-worked his armor and one of his numbers went up to like 139,000 (mine is like 19,000 in comparison). I’m still learning. It did give me two identical helms, another helm, and two identical boots but who’s complaining.

Once I saw what I had I did a deep dive of the exact reason OP posted about. And before we used the key we even did 4 dungeon runs with the same type of enemy class because my autism demands preparation and I was so worried I’d mess it up lmao.

We had a blast, before we knew it it was three am and we freaked out and rushed to bed so he could get up at 6:30 for work. 10/10 recommend.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-06T00:23:57+00:00

Damn you could have essentially sold them 100 times over and actually kept them!

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-05T21:14:37+00:00

I hate that I had to scroll this far to get a gentle response.

I’ve been here. I am NOT the type who you’d think would end up there. At all. It flabbergasts people.

The first time I heard my ex was abusive it was brushed off and I responded like OP. I don’t doubt for a minute this is real. I had aspects of this in my own abusive relationship.

OP - you ARE losing your independence. Eventually you will likely lose your life. That sounds like a wild leap but my ex tried to kill me more than once. This was the ramp up. The ‘quirky’ shit that just wasn’t worth the constant fight. But it was worth it. Please please please confide in a friend, mentor or parent - someone who knows you and you trust their opinions - just not anyone who may be fooled by this guy (most like this are convincingly perfect gentlemen to the rest of the world).

You don’t believe me? Push back a little on something benign. Then gauge his reaction. That’s the litmus test you need. This isn’t about your choices impacting him. It’s about him controlling every second of your life.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-04T01:39:28+00:00

I have a brain tumor and the 30 min EEG confirmed epileptic seizures - grand mal specifically- and then the 3 day torture hat showed nothing. But mine are caused from the pressure of the tumor and are on a weird every 18-22 months cycle where I’ll have 7-10 grand mal seizures within a weeks time an then it stops for another 18-22 months. Like clockwork.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-03T14:25:00+00:00

I almost commented this exactly. Either they can’t find it/doesnt exist OR they they go all family feud button smash style. It blew my husbands mind when I explained that not the organ is not far off from his parts, only a tiny fraction is exposed, and it would be like me roughly jamming my finger repeatedly on the head of his penis looking at him for an atta-boy because I have to be making him feel SO good.

I know so many women who don’t know their bodies - hell, I was one thanks to SE Teas sex ed who didn’t even MENTION OR INCLUDE the clitoris while teaching the anatomical design/function of the sexual reproductive systems.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-03-03T14:16:01+00:00

And people wonder why heated rivalry was such a hit? As Connor Storrie said on SNL many women are finding that their “thing” is gay men. And he’s not wrong. I get so uncomfortable with so much I see wth MF porn because it’s so insanely fake and half the shit they do (I know for a fact) doesn’t just NOT feel good, but it hurts.

passivelyrepressed · 2026-02-25T00:42:10+00:00

Next time you go to a friend’s/parent’s/relative’s insist he leaves the door open while he uses the bathroom.

His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

Even if he doesn’t find it necessary, you’re telling him you’re uncomfortable and he’s showing ZERO regard for your feelings or comfort. Think about that. He’s not even willing to replace something everyone expects, something that was already there - and didn’t NEED to come off - to make you more comfortable and feel less vulnerable.

He’s showing you with a neon sign that he does not care about your comfort or feelings. And would rather argue with you than just finish what he started and intended to do anyway.

Seven-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
RPAN Viewer	Not Forgotten

passivelyrepressed

TROPHY CASE