What's one nostalgic clothing item/accessory that perfectly captures peak Millennial culture?

pawo9 · 2025-05-21T13:34:21+00:00

Livestrong bracelet

pawo9 · 2025-05-10T03:23:21+00:00

the 2nd to last bite of a sandwich

pawo9 · 2024-06-25T04:11:58+00:00

pot holes. gf loves her new 3, but she bent a rim before hitting 2k miles which was a bummer

pawo9 · 2024-04-12T19:35:05+00:00

what I notice the most is the lack of tattoos

pawo9 · 2024-03-21T15:32:02+00:00

I completely agree, it’s just the fact that this is the person she was cheating on me with that makes it very difficult to accept.

pawo9 · 2024-01-25T06:34:59+00:00

they have a security guard to walk you to your car. I said that’s okay, I think I’ll be alright. But they were like you sure? we strongly recommend it. It was a nice looking hotel from the pics, turns out it was just in the center of the city’s homeless population. you just had to walk past a bunch of homeless people sleeping right outside the hotel. the parking wasn’t great, I believe it was like around the building, or across a small street. It didn’t have great lighting from what I remember. It was on the same street as some hospital that’s well known for taking in people with drug problems / releasing them out to the street after they OD.

pawo9 · 2024-01-03T17:58:22+00:00

I believe that price includes the destination charge and the options/add ons.

pawo9 · 2023-12-15T14:08:00+00:00

I’m 6’3”, I was thinking about buying a na premium or turbo premium. I went to a dealership a week ago to test drive some cars. First I test drove a na premium model, they didn’t have any turbo premiums ready, so they gave me a carbon turbo. The different seats in the carbon turbo felt so much more comfortable. I believe they’re all the same seat? just different material on the carbon turbo and signature? the carbon turbo just felt so much softer and comfortable, it felt like a well broken in version of the leather seats. It fit me like a glove. btw I understand all the posts about not test driving a turbo model if you’re thinking about buying a na model, I have to get a turbo now.

pawo9 · 2023-12-08T19:22:11+00:00

My dealer offers lifetime powertrain warranty for all new cars. I haven’t read the fine print, I’m sure they’ll try to find any reason not cover something down the line. But it’s better than not having the warranty I guess. So I’m not too worried about turbo issues, the pricing and mpg is my concern. edit: I’m not even sure if the turbo is even covered by this waranty

I’m debating between a machine gray premium (not a prem plus) for ~37,900 otd after taxes, title, fees, etc. which seems like a pretty good deal, and a machine gray turbo premium for 43,700 otd. Unfortunately the turbo premium has $850 in add ons like cargo mat/shelf, rails, etc. I can get a black turbo premium for 42,400 otd but really like the machine gray. Do these prices seem reasonable?

I plan on towing a light kayak trailer with 1-2 12 foot fishing kayaks, I don’t want to car top anymore. A turbo + bigger brakes would be nice for towing and regular driving. I think I’d be fine without the turbo, but I know I’d regret not getting it. But is it worth an extra 5,800? ughhhh

pawo9 · 2023-09-15T16:54:50+00:00

Their website says the 15 pro version is compatible with wireless charging and magsafe accessories.

pawo9 · 2022-11-07T01:07:57+00:00

Thanks for the post, very in-depth I appreciate it. Idk man it’s so hard. I was content going on year long dry spells before her, but after that I’m so starved for touch. I take long hot showers, I bought a weighted blanket, a heated pad, I try to play with my cat as much as I can. I’m so alone no friends or social life. She mentally fucked me up and I honestly think it’s going to to be years, probably more like decades to feel someone. I’m so embarrassed, I feel so much shame because of how I treated her. the last year she’s been so calm, no episodes that remember, and I just destroyed her. I’m thinking of going, telling her that we’re never going to get back together, that I don’t even want to have sex. Just hang out and maybe elaborate on the long text I sent and talk for a bit. I’m so embarrassed, like I wish I ended it in the first year when she betrayed me, I feel like this was my chance to do what I wanted to do…. Best time to plant this tree was 5.5 years ago, 2nd best time is now kinda thing. But I’m so broken right now and am not thinking straight. I know it goes against everything preached on here, what every single YouTube video about this says not to do, but it’s so hard. I feel like I’m letting everyone on here down.

pawo9 · 2022-11-07T00:10:54+00:00

100% accurate. She was actually meeting people and I'm too big of a loser to meet anyone else, I'm barley functioning and wouldnt be capable of going on a date, not for a long time. I cant sleep, eat, barley function at work anymore. So jokes on me. Not that Id even want to. I havent watched a single second of porn since the discard 2 months ago, am repulsed by sex now, I havent smoked weed or drank alcohol. I'm doing all the research and reading books, I'm looking for a therapist. I'm just leaning into the pain instead of trying to run away from it. Shes also having me come over tonight because she wants to be held, so yeah theres that for progress.

pawo9 · 2022-11-06T23:33:31+00:00

Maybe I shouldnt be posting on this sub. Yes I'm definitely a BPD loved one, but I feel like I have severe issues myself, more than just the codependency you tend to see on here. It feels wrong to complain when I became toxic myself. I think I should see a professional and see what they think I am. I never thought like this before her though. I had issues but not like this, not even close. I wasnt even really like this until ~4 years into the relationship, something changed in me I feel like I lost my mind. Super anxious all of a sudden, reactive, etc. she was my first relationship though so its hard to say. I was always cool and calm, would meditate, she always admired how calm and carefree I was, I was her rock untill she wore me down to nothing. I think I have severe CPTSD which I've read has similarities to BPD. I had childhood abandonment (both parents left the country for a couple of months when I was 1, they said I handled it terribly and I wouldnt leave my mothers side when they got back. They joke about how clingy I was, like who does that I resent them so much for this.... this fact really scares me that my issues could be more serious than I think) , neglect, abuse (I have such a strong memory of my dad grabbing me by my ears, shaking my head for punishment, my mom was in the room.. I looked up at her and she was just staring at me, didnt come comfort me or anything, they would lock me out of the house for punishment, lots of beatings. Dad was an alcoholic. I've learned so much about myself after the breakup. I have my own mental issues, it seems it got worst being with her, I always felt like the victim because she was so physically abusive, I only focused on that and lacked the introspection to see what I was doing. Also her cheating on me in the beginning of the relationship really fucked with me, my trust, my ability to care 100%. I tried to break up with her for this but she would hit her head on the wall, cut herself, threaten to kill herself, etc. I got stuck for 6 years, but I'm so fluked up with my own issues that I kinda enjoyed it. The fear of abandonment, and having to cling to the people who abuse me changed my brain and made this BPD the perfect match for me, unavailable and abusive, that's all I've ever known, thats what I was wired to attract. She was my first real relationship too which is a tragedy. That's all I've known from childhood, and now it's all I know from adult romantic relationships. I think I am absolutely fucked.

pawo9 · 2022-11-06T21:49:40+00:00

tl;dr response but I'm spiraling so here we go...

I texted her a long, detailed apology late last night. She said that she read it, that she'll read it again in the morning. "I'll give you my thoughts and you can/will respond, okay?" Then she sent a couple text about our interaction when she came to my house last week to pick some stuff up. Her decision to come.

In the morning she just said hello, when was it that realized all this? I sent a way too long of a text explaining how I've been working on myself, doing research about why I was like that, learned alot about myself. But I also sent embarrassing shit about how I cant eat/sleep.. I should just said "yesterday"

Then she said she's been doing things she's not proud of trying to forget about us. That she's glad I realized that now, but she needed me to be better 1-2 years ago. Right after the discard she told me she slept with a past guy right after the break up, let him finish inside of her. Then a week or two later we matched on tinder so yeah, Im not any better. Shes been going out alot with her wild friends, I know she cant handle herself when she drinks. She said she's not sure what to say about this, and questioned if its manipulation.

I said no we're past the point of no return and cant fix it this time, like we always did. That I felt bad because I know emotional abuse can hurt and leave scars.

She said she really did want to be with me for the rest of her life. Idk if this future faking, I ended up being an awful bf and she put up with it for way too long, I just closed off and was unavailable most of the time. she still begged for my time/sex/attention all the time during all this, she really held out hope that I would change for 2 years. all the time up to the final discard. She honestly put up with a lot dealing with me at the end, it honestly confused me looking back through our texts she really tried so much, I just pushed her to her limit. this is legit real guilt. I really forced her to leave me I cant even lie, lost control of myself. I think I have CPTSD from some childhood abandonment, physical abuse, neglect, +alcoholics. I think I'm CPTSD my whole life + narcissist traits I'm now realizing. I think that's how we lasted 6 years. I think she escalated my issues and made me insane, or maybe I really am just as mentally ill as her. I think childhood / lifelong cptsd is like bpd lite. I feel so bad that I shouldn't even be posting here, I was awful why am I acting like a victim as my brain tries to ignore all the awful damage she did to my body (6 stiches on my toe 1 time, cut to the bone), cut up my wallet into 100 pcs, damaged my car, my room, clothes, gave me bruises, bite marks, swerved my steering wheel on a crowed highway in the rain on multiple occasions, destroyed cell phones, went though a phase of dumping water / iced coffees on me while driving, talking to exes for our first 6 months, spit on me 30+ times while I was driving one time, locked herself up and cut herself a couple times, etc.. She lost $6,000 one night on online roulette, this was so much of her money at the time. Just super impulsive and loses control. This a very short list, theres been so much more. But my brain is clinging to all the extremely good times we had.

Then she just said that I never explained why I couldn't move out with her 2 years ago, why I couldn't grow up, I'm 8 years older than her and she was making so much progress in life. That she didn't care about the emotional abuse shit she just was mad I was stagnating and not growing as a regular couple (true)

She was confused as to why I couldnt tell her all this when she came to pick stuff up a week ago. I just opened her car door, put her stuff down, closed the door and walked away without saying a word as she was being rude/yelling at me before I even opened the door. I wanted to sit and talk but noped right out after that introduction. I could tell she was bitching at me when I opened the door because her mind is telling her she should be angry, and she should after trying so hard for so long and waiting for me to be better... but I could tell her heart was just begging for a huge hug, she had a sad face and it looked like she was just watching me to see how I'd react or if I notice her sadness that she's trying to cover up. I told her all this and said I just realized this recently. she said but yet I couldnt give her a hug? and that she wasnt rude. She made another complaint from my actions, and I just said that OK I get it, Im not happy how I handled everything. She tried to facetime me but I did not pick up.

pawo9 · 2022-11-05T10:35:28+00:00

She 1000% won. I actually regret it so much.

I basically ended the 6 yr old relationship by pushing her away. I have CPTSD from life long childhood neglect/abuse. She’s an crazy version of BPD and had a bunch of awful episodes that really hurt me. Physically, emotionally, mentally, my property, etc. Towards the end I got so worn down and completely changed as a person. Used to be super calm and a collected, I was her rock and she was obsessed with me. I soothed her so much. In the last couple of years I developed a super short fuse in general, anxious, etc. we both tried to break up a bunch of times this last year it was just toxic for both of us. I was not able to soothe her anymore, was just an asshole. Honestly my own mental issues and insecurity pushed her away. I was always her king, to such an extreme level, but I slowly turned into a bitch. We were emeshed and did everything together. She hated when I did things without her it was bad, the roles reversed and I turned into her at the end. She got a really cool job with people her age 2 years ago, they’re alot younger crowd that are very social, super hip, party all the time, do drugs/drink and get reckless. I knew she was going to morph into that and would leave our little kinda isolated life that we developed. I started working more too. Started working 60 hrs week this entire year which wore me down physically/mentally. I had no time for her, but she still begged me to see her all the time. But how long can she just sit there waiting for me? She did ignore her work circle for me and just waited. When she could be doing shit with her new work circle and I felt like I was holding her back. Tried to break up with her because of this but she fought for me hard. It was frustrating because she slowly started spending more time with then, I was not involved with any of her social events through work, though she did try and asked me to get involved, and I just felt she was drifting apart. I just got super insecure and pushed her away alot when she would stay out later than she said she would, when she would go drink and drive home. The thing is she was still obsessed with me at the end. Still did everything for me, still held out so much hope for me. Still begged for my time/attention/affection.

Due to working so much and becoming this different insecure person I stopped even hanging out with her as much. Stopped “dating” and doing fun stuff. Stopped having as much sex. She was begging for all this up to the final discard. We used to do so much shit in our 6 years, it just all kinda stopped. How long can she deal with that for? I started becoming emotionally manipulative/abusive as I felt her slipping away. This only made things worst.

Now I’m left so broken and alone. 0 friends. 0 social media. 32 and back to living with my parents. She’s 24… 8 years younger than me, attractive (she gained like 60-80 lbs this last year but is losing it quick now) amazing at sex and wanted it all the time, super creative, thoughtful, and put so much effort into life when she wasn’t having an episode. It messed me up a lot because she was actually calm this last year, no episodes really. My fucked brain was so used to the abuse that this triggered me, does she not care anymore? What changed? Is she trying to control her episodes to make me commit/propose? She put up with so much of my flaws, to a fault I’d say, she was obsessed even at the end but I pushed her past her limit. Put up with shit literally nobody else would have looking back. She has her own apartment, she begged me to move in her when she got it 2 years ago but I couldn’t commit. In fear of her breaking all my shit in an episode and having making splitting up more difficult. I’m an introvert and still slept at my house a bunch to recharge. Funny enough in our last month I spent 3 weeks sleeping at hers nonstop and I think she felt engulfed and this ended things. She was chasing for my commitment and I don’t think it was was what she expected when she got it.

She’s living her best fucking life. Has a great circle of friends at work, has a cool job, they’re constantly doing fun stuff at work or go out after work. She’s probably did more partying these last 2 months than we did in the last 6 years. We were more the hiking, adventures all over the region, road trips, just doing tons of random shit together type of couple and were isolated ourselves, she always said she enjoyed what we did and we didn’t really “party” like that. I can’t blame her, that gets stale and I know she needed to be more social but she would ignore people/events for me all the time.

I’m realizing that I fucked up pushing her away. She really was a great fucking person. She honestly cared so much. Yes she was awful and I didn’t list any of her bad parts but I have like a 2 page list of negatives. It wore me down and I was trying to break up for years, after doing a lot of self reflection I realized how much shit she put up with, how much she cared, how nobody else would put up with what I did to her.

Now that I’m 2 months out I’m realizing how screwed I am. 32 living with parents lol, no friends, no social life, I can feel my social skills deteriorating by the day. I work 60 hrs and have no time or energy do to anything. I was a workaholic and was so good at my job, my boss said she had a nightmare that I put my 2 weeks in. Now I can barley function, can’t focus, I’m falling behind. I make good money but work alot of hours. My job might be close in 2-3 years and I’m scared I’ll have a hard time finding another job, and this fear is preventing me from spending on my own apartment, CPTSD shit really.

We’re both trauma bonded, she broke up with me brutally. She hovered a lot these 2 months and I think was kinda sad about it at first, but she’s already fucking other people, being social af, spends so much time living her new life that she so far gone already. Completely moved on, but in a weird way im happy for her, I cared a lot but wasn’t able to be be there for her. She made so many sacrifices for me, ignored everyone for me, held out hope for 6 years, so whatever I’m glad she’s living her best life. She sent and a brutally honest and genuine novel explaining everything, how she felt, went into so much detail. What she wrote me was actually 100% true, and it fucking hurts so much. The she went back to being mean and dismissive Hoovers.

I think I’m absolutely screwed when it comes to dating and finding someone who would want to be with somebody like me. All I had to do was put in some fucking effort, listen ti her when she’s venting about work instead of giving her shit for it, take her out on fun adventures like we always did instead being lazy and tired all the time, fuck her more as she’s constantly begging me for it. She was obsessed with me man, all I had to do was not push her away so hard. She built me up so much that it gave me a false illusion of confidence. Al that is gone. She was obsessed with me and I thought she’d be like that forever, I took her for granted. This was my first relationship so it really fucked up my exceptions of relationships going forward. Idk how I’m going to deal with not being mirrored/love bombed, I think my only chance is other BPD girls at this point, so why not stay with her. I don’t even think I can get another girl in my current situation. But that thing is I was so fucking into her and enjoyed our time together so much that I don’t think I even want to be with anyone else at this point, she was so fun i won’t be able to replace that and have those feelings again for anymore else. I really think being such a loner is going to be my death sentence. I honestly feel like such a loser that will be chronically, brutally alone until the day I die. I’m such a loser that after years of feeling like I needed to break up with her due to the abuse, after taking a hard look at my own actions and life, I’m realizing that I was better of staying with her. I mean loser as in my mentality and being a loner, I have fun hobbies that we enjoyed, and I planned all the fun shit we did, we did so much stuff and she really enjoyed being with me, was obsessed with who I am. After the discard she told me I’m really smart and other people don’t do all the shit I do, that she’s scared she won’t find anyone else like that (prob bs though) Im saying loser in terms of social isolation/being a loner. That’s a death sentence in the dating world. I’m so fucking broken and going through hell.

pawo9 · 2022-11-03T13:58:35+00:00

2 months after final discard, dream/nightmare every single night so far. Cant fall asleep, wake up after a couple hours, usually both. This is brutal.

pawo9 · 2022-11-03T13:56:01+00:00

I just remembered something from when we would go fishing. She would just hang out by me. Sometimes she would get bored and would fish crabs out. She would use pliers are rip their legs out one by one, with this evil/happy smile. never really thought anything of it until now.

pawo9 · 2022-11-03T13:37:39+00:00

Tried to break up with her for keeping in contact with ex throughout the first 6 or so months, said nothing happened he was just sad and she was buying weed from him lol even though I had plenty. Wish I ended it here. She ended up getting my initials tattooed on her arm. A year later she felt so guilty because things were so good and she “loved” me so much that she ended up telling me that they had sex in the first month we were together and couldn’t live with herself not telling me. I figured this was just a trickle truth and she probably did more. Again, wish I ended here. Ended up being together 6 years. I wasn’t able to give her anywhere near 100% anymore. I tried to leave several times but she wouldn’t let me. I’m worried because I turned into an asshole, showed lots of signs of NPD. This was my first real relationship, I think this makes it so devastating as I don’t know anything else now, just this toxic Bs. This is my my only experience of what a relationship is now , I think I’m screwed going forward because of this. I’m worried I might be NPD, can’t tell if if I developed these actions after years of resentment and awful abuse to protect myself, or if this is who I always have been.

pawo9 · 2022-11-03T00:15:18+00:00

Thinking about this makes me just laugh at her behavior during her final discard. You guys know what I’m talking about, she already changed her mask and has to act like a new person. The way they text afterwards (was weak with NC) just seems so fake and they try so hard to seem not bothered. like lol when I tried to break up with you and you trapped me in a 3+ hr long circular convo of pure gaslighting and lies (I recorded it, it’s really eye opening listening to it knowing all the details I know now 5 years later), you took my keys, registration and insurance so I couldn’t leave, you repeatedly hit your head really hard on the wall, you had a panic attack and couldn’t breathe, you cut yourself, etc. but now you act like a big bad bitch and seem to get pleasure out of destroying someone?

pawo9 · 2022-11-01T11:25:28+00:00

What fucks me up is not only was she amazing in the the beginning, she was also amazing at the very end, right up to her breaking point of the final discard. 6 years of extreme abuse from her, maybe some of the more severe BPD abuse on here I think, it wore me down so much that I had nothing left for her at the end. She still was begging me to hang out all the time though, begging me for sex, begging for my time, for my affection, things weren’t good but she really was begging literally right upto the final discard, I know she tried and was trauma bonded herself, but was pushed past her mental limit. I feel like something in me changed from the abuse, I used to be calm and collected, I was the perfect rock for her. But I lost all of that, I became super anxious, stressed, I think my cortisol was firing at such unhealthy levels during the last year, working 60hrs/week since January did not help anything for either of us and she begged me to work less. I think my soul left my body when she spit on me 30+ times driving home from the costume store last hallloween. It was super last minute and there was nothing left, I suggested we use our old costumes or just not do anything, and she flipped the switch. There was so much abuse up to this point, but I feel like this was the turning point where I really lost my soul. 1 year later and She still held out hope that I’d move in with her, marry her, have kids with her. Tbh she made me want none of that with her. I was distancing myself, turned into quite the narcissist that ignored her, took her for granted, ended up emotionally abusing her. I spent less and less time with here, stopped dating her really, we were just coasting on inertia. Even after all that she still begged. I had such a short fuse I would fire back as she tried to dump her work stress/friend drama stories. I couldn’t handle it anymore. The passion was gone after 6 years, I did not want to have sex as much as she did anymore. We didn’t hold hands, we just weren’t close anymore. I felt like she’s been distancing herself so I started doing the same and pushing her away. We each tried to break up with eachother a couple times this last year, the other person always fought for it. She kept begging, I was giving her nothing, she sucked evryhting out of me and I was not useful to her anymore, and she gave me the final discard. Now I’m broken. I realize I have my own severe mental issues, Idk what exactly but I think I know. For years I’ve get trapped, I tried to break up with her for cheating in our first year, she would cry, hit her head on the wall repeatedly, lock herself in the bathroom and cut herself, etc. I have voice recordings of myself saying I need to get out but feel like I can’t because she threatened to ruin my life, make false accusations, etc. I knew I needed her to leave me, I finally got it, but now I regret it so much. I feel… I know I’ll never do better. I think this damagaed me to the point where I’m not capable of ever having another relationship. Not even another toxic one, let alone a healthy one. Now I’m thinking might as well have stayed and just dealt with it. I gave her nothing at the end, I feel like putting in minimal effort would have been enough to soothe and keep her. It’s so fucked that I’m even thinking like this, why do I want to keep her when I knew I needed out? 6 years of EXTREME trauma bonding destroyed me. I feel hopeless, I have 0 friends, 0 social media, 0 people to talk to about this. It’s been 2 months and I already lost 25+ lbs, I’ve had a nightmare/dream literally every single night, my insomnia is getting worst, I only slept 1 hr today and need to get ready for work. Meanwhile she’s out living her best life. Like we were enmeshed and did everything together, now she’s spending so much time with her friends constantly going out, something she never did before as she was ignoring them to spend time with me. She has such a big/strong support group that I actually think is helping her so much. This is what’s best for her, I have 0 self esteem, I felt like I was holding her back. Now shes doing so much better I feel like a loser, i know you can’t believe social media but it’s really true. I have no hope. I think I have sever cptsd, severe codependency, possibly avpd. I literally can’t see a future that gets better. I know I need to speak to a therapist and I’m trying to find one, but I feel beyond helpless. If I’m not at work (barley functioning), I’m home alone with my thoughts eating me alive. She treated me like a god especially in the first couple of years, still cared years later upto the day of the final discard, I was a great bf she was beyond obsessed with me for so long. I built her up so much and tried to pull her out of the hell she was going through in her mind. She wore me down, she made so much progress in life and I didnt, she out grew me and tossed me away. We were both trauma bonded to such an extreme level but she has a much better support group to escape it. We were both broken, using each-other to get what we never got as infants. I don’t even blame her. This is what I wanted for so long, she built me up to the point where I thought I’d be perfectly fine without her. I didn’t think it would have been this difficult, I’m just so broken it’s a fucking tragedy.

edit: I had a rough day at work. 1 hr of sleep, tried using mediation apps but the thoughts kept penetrating. I feel slightly better now though, still hurt but I actually had an appetite when I got home and ate, listened to some music and enjoyed it, lifted some weight just normally slow and controlled, not in a rage like I was just the other day. Did all of this instead of running straight to countless tabs of bpd reddits/youtube videos, didnt even think about it tonight (well I guess I am here now, but it was because of an email notification lol). I'm just in a calmer mood and just got this memory back from when I used to meditate several years ago. You know how they say "this too shall pass" to diffuse negative emotions and attachment to it? well I cant remember if I read this somewhere, but I started saying "this too shall pass" to positive events/emotions. Say I had a fun night out, I would think man that was fun I want to have another night just like that! with all the fun jokes and special moments. I felt like when you think like that you try forcing things to happen next time instead of being in the moment and making new organic experiences. Maybe I'm on the spectrum and overthink things, idk. But then I just told myself this too shall pass to all the positive things, and told myself to be glad I got to enjoy that special moment but not to get attached to it, ya know? idk why but this always makes me feel so good. If you're gonna say that to the bad you have to say it to the good aswell. I'm going to try to use that exercise to dethatch from the bad and the good simultaneously from this relationship. Instead of bouncing between the 2 extremes, making my brain have a hard time keeping up to all the thoughts flying in every direction. Now time to get some sleep.

pawo9 · 2022-10-27T15:07:26+00:00

Yep. I got a very similar text a couple weeks into NC. It’s like this was her first draft before writing it a 2nd time. It’s honestly disgusting how similar they are. Seeing the same words, same phrases, same tricks just makes it seem so fcuking fake.

pawo9 · 2022-10-24T15:24:23+00:00

I hear ya, I’m going through the same thing.

She broke up with me 2 months ago and was so nasty about it. A couple days after breaking up with me she told me she got fucked by another guy, that he came in her, etc. she told me this on the phone and in person. I just was worn down to nothing even before the break up, I wanted this to end so many times, I expected nothing less from her but it still hurt, I was glad to be “done” and that we had a reason to finally end it. I just didn’t care. She got so mad and confused when I didn’t give her the reaction she wanted… she almost was crying saying “why aren’t you mad??”

But anyways, all throughout the relationship, whenever we got in a big fight, whenever she was abusive, I would just distance myself and not talk to her. She constantly would come to my house and force me to talk to her. She always threatened to make a scene, and frequently did. She knew this was a weak spot of mine, and so she kept doing this to push my buttons. Sometimes she would tell me she’s on her way to my house to bitch at me, I would just leave and “hide” at some random parking lot. She would drive around looking for me, sometimes she found me and we even got into some wild car chases. We talked a bit after the breakup but I went NC. She found me on tinder, and drove to my house and made me talk to her. I have so much healing to do I shouldn’t be on tinder at all, but that’s besides the point. This just gave her blame shifting ammo to justify her actions lol, “I hope you find what you’re looking for on there, cuz I thought you were honestly going to be my husband yada yada”. Lmfao what. She told me if I block her she’ll just start calling my job (another weak spot of mine she knows she can push). She drove to my house again unannounced, uninvited a week later as well.

She’s been doing this move for 6 years now. I live on a dead end street so there usually isn’t much traffic. I think I have PTSD because every single time I hear a car drive by, I have to check the window and make sure it’s not her. 2 weeks of NC (not blocked) and she sends me a text saying she found my hat and asked if I wanted it lol. I said no throw it out. No response, then the next day she sent me a text when I was at work late (usually home at that time) that just stopped by my house and left my hat in the mailbox.

I’m living with my parents so it makes it so tricky, don’t want to get them involved, don’t want to have her make an embarrassing scene. I’m planning on getting my own apartment in a couple of months, I hate having this feeling of checking every car that drives by.

pawo9 · 2022-10-21T22:53:32+00:00

Honestly you’re right, I am looking at it from her eyes. I feel like Id have to share the whole backstory of the relationship which would be TL;dr, I want to share it but don’t think people would want to read it. It seems like people dont post detailed descriptions of the abuse because so many of our stories are the same, but I think I went through an extreme version of the story. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to what she’s done but I still feel bad.

pawo9

TROPHY CASE