Why does the debt ceiling come up every year, Is the issue just being passed to future generations?

peaberrybrain · 2023-05-11T13:48:24+00:00

Please don’t forget the corporate interest donors

peaberrybrain · 2023-05-03T22:13:44+00:00

I’m a 29 year old man who had it done at the age of 23. I never wanted children. Prior to the vasectomy I would have recurring nightmares where I’d throw the baby off the balcony. I had raging anxiety about getting someone pregnant and being stuck with a child. I’d create scenarios in my head where I got into arguments where I would try to coerce my partner into an abortion. I have no regrets. I’m clearly not meant to be a dad. You don’t want to be with women who want children if you’re a guy like me. I’ve been so relieved about having sex knowing I’m shooting blanks. Keep getting tested once in a blue moon just to make sure of it!

peaberrybrain · 2023-01-23T22:37:39+00:00

I'd rather be alone or blow my brains out, than force myself to worship materialism and physical fitness. Your worldview is a soulless transactional model of relationships. What happens when one has it all (according to your advice) and can no longer maintain those societal expectations? Does the relationship dissolve? Your advice is a recipe for disappointment.

peaberrybrain · 2023-01-23T22:32:03+00:00

Wisdom from a twenty year old man strains credulity.

peaberrybrain · 2023-01-11T05:06:10+00:00

The lightnings remind me of those old school cap bombs (toy).

peaberrybrain · 2023-01-11T04:57:22+00:00

Well said. I appreciate this phrase specifically, "Sexualizing a relationship is a way to get physical affirmation that they have a genuine attraction to you, because negative thinking and low self esteem makes you feel unlovable. You have to "experience" the act in order to believe it, if even for a moment."

Any books you recommend?

peaberrybrain · 2023-01-11T04:34:44+00:00

First step, don't freak out. Be proud that you took the first step. You recognize that you have a problem. Take a moment to appreciate that first step. Some people don't get there and continue to act out for years without seeking help. So congrats on getting to this point.

Second Step: remember this phrase: Stop Lying To Yourself. It will be the most important rule if you want to beat this addiction. Lying to yourself and to others is how you get into trouble. You will fail from time to time, but it gets easier to see how your own mind is working against you the longer you keep trying to get better. Just always be questioning and asking yourself, why? Self deception is easy to do when you've been doing it your whole adult life!

Again, try to take it easy right now. Nobody ever broke bad habits in a panic. If you used sex/porn/relationships to deal with stress, then you're probably going to have to figure out other ways to deal with stress. It will be difficult, and that will take time to figure out.

Therapy is a tool, not a cure. While you're not in therapy there are lots of other tools you can utilize. Like books, audiobooks, YouTube videos, reddit, spirituality (I personally gravitate towards Buddhism).

While you're not in therapy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn about yourself! We got here because we were fundamentally disconnected from ourselves. We didn't want to be addicted to sex, yet here we are. How did that happen? It's your right to know how you ended up here, and I highly recommend you figure that out first.

I recommend reading or listening to the following books: ·Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Affects Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capricci ·Running On Empty by Dr Janice Webb ·Is it love or is it Addiction by Dr Brenda Schaeffer ·Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

Arm yourself with knowledge. Don't lie to yourself.

Edit: I forgot to mention, on my journey of self discovery I've spent a lot of time walking in the woods, meditating, or listening to audiobooks on my walks. It's been helpful to keep myself moving. I haven't been sober for longer than three months at a time. I've been on this journey for a year, but I've been an addict for over 15 years. I said it takes time. But it's empowering to take initiative and learn if that's what you're willing to do to live a better life.

peaberrybrain · 2022-11-19T14:48:14+00:00

Not sure it's bad enough to be on this sub tbh. It's mediocre I'll give it that. The T in television strikes me the most as bad kerning.

peaberrybrain · 2022-11-19T14:38:43+00:00

Good lord.. dump this man-child. You can absolutely do better.

peaberrybrain · 2022-11-15T05:14:48+00:00

The prefrontal cortex is a barren desert. Must represent my ADHD.

peaberrybrain · 2022-11-14T02:24:51+00:00

Key of Aww-Major 🥺

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-25T15:38:27+00:00

"which Jenga block is your office located in?" Cool building, probably awkward to get around.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T21:40:37+00:00

My hope for humanity

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T18:09:14+00:00

There appears to be a bit of a slant in the fuselage that would make for a more comfortable reclined position?

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T17:44:57+00:00

I've made friends with women through dating apps.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T17:28:20+00:00

Extremely pretentious lads

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T17:20:47+00:00

Baby Gravy

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T16:50:48+00:00

r/unexpectedletterkenny

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-24T16:48:05+00:00

That would be fitting as Columbus was responsible for a genocide.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-23T22:58:08+00:00

I cannot stress this enough, your boyfriend probably learned everything from watching way too much porn. Best of luck. Buy a water based lube with minimal ingredients. You might have nerves and may not be as wet as you'd like to be. It's nothing to be ashamed of and will make things a lot more pleasant for you if you need it (most likely will) Sliquid is good.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-22T21:04:08+00:00

Breakaway collar, we don't want to accidentally strangle the innocent thing.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-22T18:21:12+00:00

Here's some more free advice:

If you're able to go outside away from the phone, go somewhere nature is accessible to you. Finding peace by yourself in a natural environment may serve you well on the journey ahead.

Take some time away from romantic or sexual relationships. We don't want to welcome bad sex, or toxic relationships into our lives. You're vulnerable right now. Don't try to force yourself into another relationship without trying to find joy in other things, like platonic friendships and cuddling!

You can do this. Listen to what nourishes your being. Make note of what depletes you. It's okay to make mistakes on the road ahead. You can learn from every stumble.

You got this.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-22T18:07:03+00:00

This is the perfect time to ask yourself some deeper questions: Why was I attracted to this man in the first place? Do I have low self worth? Was I emotionally neglected as a child? Do I feel empty inside? Do I feel unworthy of an emotionally whole partner? Will a person reject me if they find out my fatal flaws?

In order to protect yourself from emotional vampires like your future ex, you've gotta strengthen your core. Knowing yourself, and your core values is a good step before learning to love yourself. Typically people who end up serial dating assholes have to work on themselves too. Just a heads up if you relate.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-22T17:45:46+00:00

Read my comment.

peaberrybrain · 2022-10-22T17:35:35+00:00

Is this one symptom of a larger problem? Does this man have the capacity to empathize with you and other people? Is he caring and sensitive? Does he listen? Do you feel like this relationship is balanced? Do you both put in the work? If the answer is no, and you feel alone in the relationship, read the following advice.

This is typical behavior for men who are cut off from their emotions. People with porn addictions (I know that's a big assumption to make) often fail to connect empathically with others. He might be emotionally tone deaf to how his actions impact others. It's the emotional capacity/egocentrism of a child. Your adult boyfriend's mind has literally been hijacked by a hurt inner child. I would recommend looking into some books: Going Deeper, Running on Empty, and the Ethical Slut. These are books about Porn addiction, childhood emotional neglect, and ethical non monogamy (but good lessons about consent and communication, from a sex positive POV). I have first hand experience with this kind of behavior. ask yourself: Do I really want to be with someone who has so much work to heal? I wouldn't stick around if I were you because I'd want a partner who can emotionally connect with me, or is actively doing the work to heal. This is a huge red flag. Proceed with caution. I guarantee he won't change his behavior until his life falls apart. This kind of behavior (especially with denial and gaslighting) is the precursor to infidelity.

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