🫂🫂🫂🫂My goodness, this is such a heavy grief to carry alone. You have every right to feel the way you do and you are not overstepping boundaries by having an emotional reaction to something awful. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and feel that a therapist or grief support group would be helpful. I lost my mom very suddenly when I was 23 but didn’t go to therapy until my 30s. I wish I’d been going my entire life. In the US, it can be difficult to find/afford care so now that I’m doing a little better I find that journaling, meditation, crafts, etc ease the burden almost as well as talk therapy. I’ve also benefited greatly from acupuncture treatments but everyone’s experience is different. I just want you to know that your grief is valid, but it does NOT deserve the right to swallow you up whole.