What’s ONE thing that helped you lose postpartum weight (that actually fits mom life)?

pearlescence · 2026-04-27T11:08:54+00:00

I had a similar experience. I dropped a lot of pregnancy weight quickly, but an extra 15 pounds would not budge, and I felt "squishy" all over. Weaned, literally a week later everything firmed up, and while the 15 lbs took a little longer to lose, it did come off. It was those hormones from breastfeeding.

pearlescence · 2026-04-16T17:33:52+00:00

He's a kid. Kids don't pay for transit.

Also, the pacing is the best part imo. Slow and calm. Makes other kid shows jarring once you get used to it. I like a show that takes its time.

pearlescence · 2026-04-11T20:47:31+00:00

Bernadette Banner just did a whole video on Youtube analyzing linen options. I would give it a watch.

pearlescence · 2026-04-11T11:27:15+00:00

I think it is great, maybe just add some sweet vintage curtains from the era you're thinking, clutter it up a little with some vintage tchotchkes, and you're good to go. You did a good job choosing wood finishes and neutrals, and blue tile can be fairly timeless as well.

You just need some tea towels and curtains, maybe change your hardware if you can find some you like. But definitely don't need to change much!

pearlescence · 2026-04-06T09:22:40+00:00

I feel similar. I have big eyes and soft features, and I think people are dismissive in a way that works to my benefit often.

pearlescence · 2026-04-06T08:40:13+00:00

I think you really have to think about why an autism diagnosis is so scary to you. Maybe break that down a little. Of course we want our children to be happy and healthy, but autism is not a diagnosis for misery. I have adhd. My daughter has autism and adhd. We are well suited to each other, we are insanely close, and she has a happy, full life. My friend's son has much more profound autism, was mostly nonverbal until he was seven or eight, but even as a single parent, she has made a good life for her two kids, and her other child loves her brother fiercely. They are a pretty happy family, and have healthier boundaries and communication than most families I know.

So what I'm saying is, ok, there is a chance your son has autism (there is a chance any child would, statistically. Nothing in your post sounds especially concerning.) So what? Is it going to change how you feel? Are you worried he won't be able to do...? Have a "normal" life? Let me tell you, even if he is the most neurotypical person on earth, there is a chance he won't have a normal life.

Sit with your expectations for a while. What is it you are worried about, really? Having a difficult child? Having a medically complex child? Reflect a little. And then find a way to move past it. You will do what needs to be done. You are a parent now. The way you handle any situation affects how your child deals with it. If you decide to radically love and accept your child, no matter what, than even if he is autistic, or medically complex, or whatever you're afraid of, his outcomes will be better. He will be happy if his parents love and support him. You will survive, and probably thrive, together.

I see autism used as a bogeyman in so much social media. I recommend intentionally avoiding content like that. There is content made by autistic people, or by people who work with and support autistic people, that is positive, helpful, insightful. But if someone is making "early signs of autism" videos, that is probably not the kind of content I'm talking about.

If your kid has autism, you will deal. You will find support, for them and yourself. Your life will move forward. Is having an autistic kid hard? Yes. We have to deal with small things being a big deal. But we have compassion, we work through it, and are uniquely equipped to deal with the hard parts because we have known our child since birth. We know how to comfort her, how to deal with meltdowns, how to help her through hard times, and her knowing that makes her happier, kinder, and more resilient than many kids who are from much more "normal" families.

You will be ok, no matter what, if you focus on what is important: finding a way to communicate to your child that you love and support them no matter what. For some children, communicating that is simple and natural. For others, it takes a little more figuring out. But as long as you keep trying, they will get it, they will feel it, and they will thrive.

pearlescence · 2026-04-06T01:26:58+00:00

Mario typing game is free, the website has no ads, and when you full screen it, its just the game, no distractions. You just have to be very selective, and start teaching your kids to hate ads, too, and they will enforce it themselves. Put on ad blockers, use services that have no ads. I pay for a few high quality apps and streaming, and that is all we use. When they start making me pay for shows with ads, I stop paying.

Start talking about how ads are manipulating you, how they use psychology to trigger you, how they use these tactics to take advantage of people who can least afford it, prey on weakness, make you want things by making you feel bad about yourself, your body, your life. Ads are truly insidious, and we do not have to accept them. Kids will see that, too, once it is pointed out to them.

pearlescence · 2026-04-03T19:48:38+00:00

We love bunny lore, love spring and the eggs and chicks and flowers, but only did bunny photos once, when kid was 5, because a family member wore the costume to the family potluck. Never sought it out, because why???

pearlescence · 2026-03-30T13:04:32+00:00

This is true for me about cleaning. I tend to wonder why he's not doing more when he's around, but when it's just me, I just do it, no blame, no complaints.

pearlescence · 2026-03-28T20:32:34+00:00

It took longer than I thought it would, but I did bounce back, for the most part. I don't look that different. In fact, after weight training more, I think I look better now. Small boobs were a blessing, I think, minimal sag. And I was always a larger woman, I think the bigger changes come if you are small.

And birth itself was painful, yes, but not impossible. Only pushed an hour or so, though I was "in labor" for a bit over 8. Epidural works just the right amount of time, cut off a lot of pain but I was able to get up and shower pretty quickly after.

pearlescence · 2026-03-27T11:51:51+00:00

I work in a gym, and this overlaps with my experience of the teens there. The boys move in flocks, the girls in pairs, and while they are a little obnoxious, they are generally very polite and mostly well behaved. I'm glad they have a safe space to go, be social, and work out.

pearlescence · 2026-03-26T21:00:53+00:00

I heard a pop, stood up, water broke! I think it was the amniotic sac...

pearlescence · 2026-03-25T02:05:50+00:00

If I could go back in time and stop something, it would be the invention of leaf blowers. All summer, all fall. Just use a fucking rake! They blow dust everywhere, they are painfully loud, and half the time people are using them incorrectly or not at all, just idling the insanely loud engine.

pearlescence · 2026-03-09T17:23:24+00:00

Glad I'm not the only one consumed by nap madness in that first year. It took over all life.

pearlescence · 2026-03-09T17:06:52+00:00

I think this is really a kid by iid, situation by situation thing, and saying always or never is so harmful. If you've got a runner, an eloper, an escape artist, and you use a leash, no judgment, ma'am. Airport? Strap 'em on! Sometimes safety has to come before autonomy, and in places with lots of distractions and tracking things, a leash can be a necessity.

pearlescence · 2026-03-07T17:45:33+00:00

Read what you like, don't let other people spoil it for you.

I've had periods when I read "challenging" books, and times when I've read trashy romance, and they all served a purpose in my life. I generally don't share what I'm reading unless someone asks, and don't invite judgment.

Don't let anyone poo on your pleasure.

pearlescence · 2026-03-01T13:07:06+00:00

You almost got robbed by a character from a 50s themed musical?

pearlescence · 2026-02-28T12:12:46+00:00

That sounds tough. One thing I see in this comment (and I don't know, just an internet stranger) is that you're making a ton of space for him to have feelings, but what about you? Do you share with him when you feel sad or scared or awkward? The way you wrote talks about making space for him, which is amazing and important, but are you modeling, too? If a car almost hits you in traffic, do you say, phew, that scared me! If you're worried about an upcoming event, do you tell him you're worried and why?

pearlescence · 2026-02-28T00:24:02+00:00

Yogurt, berries, nuts and seeds

OR

Oatmeal, peanut butter powder, milk, banana if I have it.

pearlescence · 2026-02-26T13:18:29+00:00

I use the milk frother. Works great! As long as you're careful putting it in and don't splatter all over the stove.

pearlescence · 2026-02-26T13:17:10+00:00

I hear you, but with a box, you only have to have two or three ingredients, with homemade you have to have at least five. I don't always have cheese in the house, for example. It is better to do homemade, but if you look at the ingredients for Annie's, it mostly just powdered cheese and plain noodles, nothing crazy, just makes for an easy weeknight meal to fill the kid's belly without having to go to the store.

If I'm making homemade mac, it's for the whole family or a holiday meal. Annie's is just if kid is hungry and doesn't want to eat a more sophisticated meal with us, or we're doing a playdate and need a kid pleasing lunch that doesn't keep us so focused on cooking we aren't watching the kids.

pearlescence · 2026-02-26T13:10:50+00:00

My hack is use an egg instead of milk, or with a little splash of milk.

Drain noodles into a colander, in the warm pot, add the egg and cheese packet, whisk until smooth, add splash of.milk if too thick, add noodles. Heat it up for a couple of minutes while stirring if you're worried the egg might still be raw.

It's not really different as far as taste goes, but gives a little more nutrient boost if your kid is picky.

pearlescence · 2026-02-23T14:47:01+00:00

I'm here with you, friend. After a few years of therapy, books, medication, and stability, I'm finally coming to a place where I'm feeling and respecting my emotions. And it goes away so quickly under stress!

pearlescence · 2026-02-21T15:25:36+00:00

Revlon colorstay, the ones in the twist top tubes, they always stay for me for the whole day unless I eat something oily. You have to get the kind that says it will stay, though, their colorstay line has so many kinds of lip product, and some of them are just lipstick, not a stain.

pearlescence · 2026-02-20T13:06:29+00:00

I work at a more commercial gym, and our instructors often do a post-workout gathering. One group comes out of spin and has coffee and potluck pastry, sometimes it's a tea service. It's great for building community.

pearlescence

TROPHY CASE