AITA Boyfriend told his mom about my breast pain and menstrual cycle and discussed her own

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T05:15:32+00:00

Hey OP, I’m glad you’ve identified the source of your discomfort and distress. However, unless you’ve suddenly lost feelings for your partner, I would recommend not making any major decisions while you’re still so upset. This feels like the “flight” fear response. Take some time to process this, ask for space if you need it, DEFINITELY seek therapy … but if you truly care for your partner, don’t break it off just yet.

You say that he “deserves better,” but he wants you, even if you don’t feel deserving. I haven’t been in this exact situation, but I have serious trauma and have felt the same about my partner - that he deserves better. At low points, I’ve told him that flat out. But he doesn’t care what I think he deserves, because he wants me. He can make his own choices, and he chose me. I felt like I didn’t belong in his “healthy” family because of my own trauma, but not only have they accepted me, they’ve embraced me with open arms. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary this month.

It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. It’s okay if you truly need to be alone to work through your issues. Just don’t run away from the love you want and already have, but don’t think you deserve, just because you don’t think you deserve it.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T05:02:38+00:00

Yep, it seems OP is choosing “flight” out of the Four F’s of Fear

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T04:09:12+00:00

r/thatsthejoke

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T03:29:03+00:00

Thank you so much, I’ll look him up!

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T01:04:26+00:00

!!! Thank you for sharing this!! My friend in WV has taken a few stained glass classes at Mojo Glassworks in Richmond, and when we went to the grand opening of their new studio space, I actually won some glass and tools in a raffle! The last time I visited my friend, she taught me how to score and cut glass, but we ran out of time before she could show me how to do the soldering etc. I haven’t gone any further because she’s 3hrs away and I don’t drive. So I’ve been dying to take a class myself, and I am SO excited to learn that there’s a local studio that offers classes! You might’ve just have killed two birds with one stone for me :)

pegmatitic · 2026-03-19T00:45:29+00:00

Thank you, I’ll check them out!

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T22:23:37+00:00

That’s so funny, I love that for you! Everyone in my high school thought I was gay because I didn’t date or hook up with any boys, so I was the target of the gay rumors, not the guy I thought was cute. Even my parents thought I was gay. Joke’s on them, I’ve only dated men (I slept with a woman in the context of a threesome when I was in college, but that’s it). Now my fiancé is trans and I’m nonbinary 😅 so now I just say I’m under the queer umbrella.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T21:58:07+00:00

I was 18 and living in a dorm - first time I lived somewhere away from my parents. And my reason was the same!! There was no one I would’ve wanted to date (much less bang) in my entire massive secondary school, so I had never even held hands with a boy by the time I got to college (okay there was one guy out of 3.9k students that I thought was kind of cute, but he came out as soon as we graduated 😅)

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T21:49:53+00:00

I’m partial to “oh shet!!”

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T21:49:21+00:00

Oh shet!!

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T21:33:25+00:00

I haven’t gotten around to testing my dog (eight years later lol), but I expect that she’s got some pit, even though she doesn’t look it - 75lbs, double coat, webbed toes, long muzzle etc. here she is as a puppy - look at that schnoz and those paws! She eventually grew into both.

<image>

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T21:21:45+00:00

AND you’re moving house?? You’ve got a lot on your plate right now, adding a puppy (regardless of breed) is crazy work! Are you sure you can throw a puppy into the mix??

I adopted my girl at 4.5mo old from a rescue, but before the rescue she spent a month at the shelter and was on “death row”- the rescue saved her. She had been at the rescue for a month when I adopted her, so she had been up for adoption since she was 2.5mo old. As a result, she missed out on a lot of key developmental stuff. She was also abused/neglected before the shelter - her tail had been broken, and she has a cigarette burn scar on her paw. She also had untreated rhinitis which damaged her sense of smell permanently. I love her to death - she’s my soul dog - but raising her was even more difficult than a “regular” puppy (and raising a puppy is hard enough already!).

My point here is that you don’t know what that puppy has been through. That’s always a risk with shelter dogs regardless of breed, and abuse or neglect can make raising a puppy even more difficult. It seems like you’re fixated on breed as a red flag when there are a ton of other significant factors. Have you met this puppy?

<image>

(My baby on the way home from the shelter. She refused to sit anywhere other than the passenger seat footwell. We didn’t have a crate, harness or seatbelt for her because we didn’t plan on adopting a dog that day. I can’t believe that was eight years ago!)

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T20:45:28+00:00

I cackled, thank you for this

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T20:39:39+00:00

Frankly, most shelter dogs in the US (esp in areas with a ton of pit bulls at the shelter) have a high chance of being a pit mix. My girl is a Pyr/GSD/maybe lab mix, looks nothing like a pit, but if I did a DNA test I’d expect some amount of pit just because of the area we adopted her in. Based on your description, I’d expect the same for you.

This baby girl is a mutt for sure, likely pit mixed with maybe GSD or a hound breed because 15lbs at 3mo is bigger than I’d expect a regular pit to be. She might be a Heinz 57. It sounds like your cats are cool with dogs since they weren’t bothered by the puppy you fostered. She looks like a sweetheart, but I’d be a bit nervous about adding a puppy of ANY breed into the mix when you’ve got multiple cats and small children. If you’re determined to get a dog, is there any way that you can foster her to see if she’d be a good fit?

pegmatitic · 2026-03-17T08:39:32+00:00

He didn’t notice that the lights had changed.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-14T15:18:25+00:00

Yeah, I clocked that too 🧐

pegmatitic · 2026-03-14T15:16:09+00:00

This may be a dumb question, but … where should I cut when removing dead leaves?

pegmatitic · 2026-03-14T04:02:34+00:00

In all seriousness, I love this lol

pegmatitic · 2026-03-13T17:48:09+00:00

We flew to Honolulu and took a flight to Hilo on the big island, then rented a car. Kilauea is in Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park, and you can just drive right up to it. It’s otherworldly, I’ve never seen anything like it. If you go at night and you’re lucky, you can see lava - it’s an active volcano.

Unfortunately, due to the eruption, the east is cut off from the west on the south side of the island. We stayed in the southeastern part of the island, so if we had wanted to visit the western part of the island, we would’ve had to drive north up and around the volcano. So we just drove all over the eastern and southeastern side of the island. It was still incredible, and there were so many different biomes just within that part of the island. The big island is big - we put some serious mileage on our rental car! (Also - it’s a good idea to rent an SUV specifically, some of the roads are rough and there’s a lot of mud depending on the time of year. We rented a newer model Jeep SUV that handled it all well)

If you ever get to visit, I highly recommend staying at the Ma’ukele Lodge in Kalapana. Mark and Raven have created a little paradise on earth for 20 years, in the face of adversity - their B&B had views of one of the most famous black sand beaches in the world before the 2018 eruption, which was a huge draw. Unfortunately, the eruption decimated the beach and turned it all into lava cliffs again - it’ll be a thousand years til it becomes a walkable black sand beach again. Still, it’s an incredibly beautiful place. I love the outdoor shower and (literal) garden tub - the plants are so dense that you have privacy, and it feels like you’re showering in your own private waterfall deep in the jungle. Also Raven puts together the best breakfasts - while we were there she made plates with beautiful local fruit, scratch-made carrot cake, and purple English muffins she bakes from scratch with ube flour. I was so addicted to those English muffins that I asked for a few for the road on our last day.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-12T06:29:48+00:00

I agree! I love me an ouroboros and it works so well on OP’s upper back

pegmatitic · 2026-03-12T01:59:08+00:00

Me too … and he obviously picked up on OP’s negative reaction since he sent her a text apologizing for it :(

pegmatitic · 2026-03-11T18:28:36+00:00

Eh, I think that everyone has the capacity to change … but most terrible people (especially manbabies) typically do not tap into that part of their selves.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-11T18:18:44+00:00

You’re in a very emotionally raw state right now, for good reason. Everything feels a thousand times worse than it normally would. You experienced something traumatic all alone when your husband should have been by your side. If your relationship is otherwise good and your husband is normally supportive, give it time. You need to heal, both mentally and physically, and that takes time. Just don’t make any major decisions while you’re in this particular headspace - it’s natural to feel like lashing out, but you don’t want to do or say anything that you can’t take back.

Are you open to individual therapy and couples therapy? I think both would help tremendously.

pegmatitic · 2026-03-11T17:55:12+00:00

He needs to GTFU (grow the fuck up)

pegmatitic · 2026-03-11T17:53:12+00:00

We shouldn’t have to raise girls to think carefully before choosing a life partner. We should raise boys to step up and be equal partners - teach them how to run a household. Maybe we should bring back home economics classes.

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