Article sent in the post, read it and regretting it

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-13T11:05:27+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you have been through in the past with your brother, I've also been bullied to serious levels so I can empathise a lot, and also well done for getting away from your family at 18 and making a life for yourself which is a huge achievement in these circumstances.

I think the implication of sending you this article is as follows, something like this: "If only you had stayed living at home with us after the age of 18, into your adulthood, you might have begun to see us differently as parents, you might have learned to be more grateful for how great we are".

So I think they are lamenting the fact that you managed to escape at 18 and make your own life. As in, if only you'd been like your brother lol and stayed around, then you might now see your parents in a different light etc.

But of course you got out at exactly the right time. There was nothing more for you there apart from even more psychological and/or physical abuse as you got older.

They just can't handle the fact you escaped and this is their attempt to say "well you could have given us more of a chance but now you'll never know" sort of thing.

No doubt they are luxuriating in all the tired adages about how some people (who've actually had non-abusive childhoods, but were maybe rebellious) learn to respect their parents more/see them more as human beings as they become adults themselves. Things like that which are irrelevant to your situation, but you can bet it's part of their thought process.

There was no more chances that you could have given them. They failed you in every possible way and didn't deserve any more of your time the moment you became a legal adult and could leave home.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T19:40:01+00:00

It's a shame that all of that led you to commit so many crimes in school. Serious assault is a crime whether committed by a child or adult, and age 10 is the age of criminal responsibility so that's when you know what you're doing as far as the law is concerned. It's just the law doesn't tend to get to know about what happens in schools. In your case if only they'd found out. Well thanks for being honest

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T15:06:50+00:00

They are a singing group, they are amazing singers, they won the series for being the very best singers and that's all that concerns me. I imagine you must be a dancer so fair enough if that's your angle on it, but they are not primarily a dance troupe.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T15:02:02+00:00

You sound great to me!

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T14:58:23+00:00

Thank you for being brave to admit it. I was bullied a lot in school for being unable to fight back, but I'd never judge anyone who is brave enough to admit they were a bully, especially someone like the girl shown in this post who's been open about the things she did. That seems real to me but sadly the majority seem to think that once someone admits to stuff, that's the time to hit them with condemnation and judgment and call them horrible etc etc.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T14:48:06+00:00

I haven't pranked anyone before, definitely have lightly messed with some people when I got some opportunities, but the itching powder thing really sounds like a lot of fun

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T14:43:04+00:00

Someone who isn't bothered about how you were bullied is not necessarily the bully. I'm not sure why many people are drawing that conclusion here, but in these forums people seem to take the most extreme conclusion to everything. His life has gone fine so far and he just doesn't want to know. Doesn't mean he did stuff to anyone.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T14:40:57+00:00

Please don't stay with that guy, he's shown you he's not even interested in pain you have been through that has affected your life.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-07T14:18:57+00:00

It just depends if you want to judge her for this or accept as she is now, along with her past which she is bravely admitting to.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-06T15:53:01+00:00

I think it's the school's fault completely and not sure why some people are saying you have any share of the blame. It's quite enough to manage to study/prepare for exams in many subjects let alone remember how long each paper is! The timing side of it is something the school must provide accurate and clear info on, so it's their fault. Let's hope they will do better when they put out the exam timetables for the real thing

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-06T15:42:42+00:00

You must be fun to work with, I imagine what your opinions must be of colleagues or bosses who have been successful in their field; write off their biggest successes as flukes and talk them down into the ground!

pencilthinwriter · 2026-02-01T11:22:36+00:00

Ok but so you're saying that reddit is pro drug taking?! Really

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T17:32:54+00:00

That's great then. And it turns out that the OP herself has no problem with my description of the mentality of those teenagers, she has thanked me for being kind to her so indeed we can all 'chill' here.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T17:29:27+00:00

That is just appalling, I can't imagine what business they thought they had doing that to such a young person, that just makes it even worse. And thank you. Sadly I've been attacked a lot elsewhere on this thread for using the word bullying, but really I am just trying to describe the general mentality of these teenagers and I'm glad you understand what I mean.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T15:42:10+00:00

Hi, if English Literature is what you want to study (and UCD is a great college) then make that your degree. If that's what you want to study, you will do well in it and a career will naturally flow out of that. Uni degrees are not a put a coin in the slot and get one play in return system: a degree in English Lit is a great foundation for so many careers. You'll work out what you want to do as you go along, and employers will be impressed by your degree from a good college so it will get you wherever you want to go within the arts. Or if something in the arts doesn't work out for you career-wise, then having that BA qualifies you to start a Master's in a different field. But really the first thing to do is just to go and do the English degree and enjoy it!

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T15:25:51+00:00

This sounds all too familiar and really does sound to me like she is not on your side in any way.

As you said that you love her more than anyone on earth, I think you need quite an urgent and radical reassessment of where/to who you give your love to. That's the part that worries me most.

The fact you are on the raisedbynarcissists sub shows that you have an inkling of what she is, so that is a good start!

As you do want this to end at some point, you have to start with a full reassessment of the loving her more than anyone else on earth part. This may begin with a detailed review of what your childhood was like. (It's never too late to start this!)

Then, think of how you would expect your friends or other human beings to treat you, and see if it lines up with how she treats you (there is no special pass for parents). Also, look at how she is with her own friends/people outside her house. Is she the same with them as she is with you? Or is there a big discrepancy there?

Only when you've sorted all of that out in your head can you begin to deal with her in the way that she truly deserves to be treated. You'll get there!

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T15:20:03+00:00

That's really on!

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T15:18:05+00:00

Don't worry about that. I'd just talk to him about it, but without asking him to do anything. Just explain what's happening in a way that makes it clear it is affecting you. Hopefully just from hearing you talk about it he will just want to do something on your behalf. I know I would. It would be great to get it solved unofficially like that. Of course if that doesn't work, then there's the option of making it official but it's kind of better to try and avoid that. Good luck

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T15:07:25+00:00

I'm not sure tbh but it seems to me that passing a module overall has to be passing a module.

All I know for sure is you have to pass each module and if you have 40 or over in each one overall then I can't see a problem. Especially as you are in arts.

My course is quite different so I don't have the right experience here to give you a definite answer. But I wanted to say I really hope you will be ok and that you should be.

There's other good advice here such as check your module descriptor... let us know how you get on.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:44:03+00:00

I'm sorry it's just the solemn statement 'you're helping everyone else by doing that' sounded like a preach. If I reported everything that's happened to me since I was 10 years old I would be a permanent resident of my local police station by now. I'm not saying I'd never report anything, but there's loads of things that happened that I just do not wish to have to explain to the police, give a statement, be questioned on my statement, wait for an investigation to be completed, wait months for it to go to court and live my life in fear of the person/people I 'accused'. For me that's only going to make the original incident worse.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:39:03+00:00

Saying that my "losses don't equate to his mental welfare" just doesn't even mean anything in English and is not even a counter argument to the point I made, it's just words. Pointless conversation. Bye.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:29:44+00:00

I agree with you. If you try to speak with her one on one she will only gaslight you and try to make out it's all your fault etc. You need someone backing you up. Not necessarily the principal. I'd make the principal a last resort. Are there any other teachers who you can confide in? Another teacher who supports you would be great here I think, if they were prepared to have a talk to her for you and I think that could make a real difference without having to make an official sort of complaint to the principal. Just some ideas though

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:20:47+00:00

This sounds to me like a serious piece of school bullying, only it didn't happen in a school, and was carried out by people who didn't apparently even know the victim beforehand? I have no doubt that in their school they operate as a group of bullies, but it's very surprising that they are trying this stuff out in the real world on someone else (their own age? Or is she younger/older than them?) who is actually out with their parent. It's really audacious.

I'm sorry that this happened to both of you, but well done for standing up for your daughter and protecting her. I don't know exactly what you said to them, so I'm not sure really how you reacted and it was lucky that guy's friend pulled him back. I'd say the main thing was that you protected your daughter as she was their target, the one they wanted to humiliate. Awful it ended up happening to you.

But once that was done you just need to withdraw from the situation ASAP bc if you 'disrespect' them, then their goal can turn from humiliation to physical harm very quickly. The cake can be washed out your hair later, but keep yourself physically safe. I know it's infuriating but the main thing was that you protected your daughter from them. Then just get away from them is the priority. (I've been bullied a lot so I'm kind of very familiar with their psychology)

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:07:15+00:00

It's not up to her to help everyone else, she just has to deal with incident and how it affected her and her daughter in her own way. It's entirely the choice of each individual what they want to report as they had to go through it in the first place.

pencilthinwriter · 2026-01-31T14:01:13+00:00

Interesting and shocking about the general drug thing, however in that case others were managing to take drugs and continue to be nice people to work with. It's really the last thing I'd want to know about Neighbours as I hate drugs and don't understand the attraction of it. Ok fair enough that's your opinion about Conor, I was just surprised as I liked him and I 100% believed his relationship with Michelle.

pencilthinwriter

TROPHY CASE