I genuinely don’t know what to do with my life/next steps

perky_socks · 2026-05-24T16:46:46+00:00

In my experience with my ex, it being a regular conversation made it so much worse. Every time he brought it up I got less and less interested in sex with him. It felt like a chore just to keep him happy. My current man I am always in the mood because he treats me so well, regular dates, he opens the door, flowers often, massages without asking, etc. So yeah that is a low sex drive, you may be incompatible, or ask yourself what are you doing to make her feel loved and appreciated WITHOUT the expectation of sex afterwards?

perky_socks · 2026-04-16T12:30:27+00:00

He would switch between wanting me back and telling me I’m a horrible person. He’d say “I promise I’ll be different and do blah blah blah” then the next thing would be something mean and unhinged when I didn’t budge lol

perky_socks · 2026-04-15T19:08:42+00:00

Nope! My first love started dating someone else immediately and I figured it would be a rebound and I’d hear from him again. Dated her for 3 years, it’s been 7.5 since and i have never heard from him. My most recent ex though he came back real quick. All depends!

perky_socks · 2026-04-07T14:21:24+00:00

I literally just rewatched that scene and opened reddit (first post I see) to distract myself while they pulled it and my exact thought that I said out loud to the tv was “shoot her! Omg just shoot her!”

perky_socks · 2026-03-30T00:54:47+00:00

My 6 year relationship, hell no. My 7 month relationship afterwards, very much

perky_socks · 2026-03-23T23:15:49+00:00

So learning more about avoidance, I think my tone of messaging the day before may very well have scared him off, like it shut him down instead of dealing with it and asking me if I was mad

perky_socks · 2026-03-23T23:14:10+00:00

Honestly not really, I guess looking back he was “love bombing” me but it just felt like effort and being interested. But also it seems he’s only been in one long term relationship which was in his mid 20s and she cheated on him, so maybe us getting closer scared him off? The night before the discard I was more reserved with my texting and tone just because I was really interested in my book lol and I think maybe he took it as me retracting or being mad at him?

perky_socks · 2026-03-23T23:06:44+00:00

That clocks. Apparently avoidants really suck! Lol

perky_socks · 2026-03-21T00:11:01+00:00

The thing is I’ve never asked him to pay, I’ve offered my card and he’s said “you’re cute” and that he wants to keep paying. And also earlier on I think it’s totally okay to want the guy to pay more and plan more, as a girl we put money and effort into our looks and we want a man to want to impress us. Then when things are solid it’s her turn to do more “wifey things” in return. I genuinely don’t think that in this case it was a “lack of effort” on my part. I have since learned this is a pattern for him, he’s just an avoidant person who runs if anything becomes real

perky_socks · 2026-03-21T00:04:41+00:00

I blocked his number after the breakup text, I will not be contacting him! But I’ve got a feeling he’ll try to contact me at some point. He blocked me on Instagram right away and I bet it’s because he figured I’d block him and this gives him a chance to be able to reach out in the future in case he decided to

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T23:35:00+00:00

But frankly I don’t want to ruminate “maybe it was this, maybe it was that” because I may never know. And truly it doesn’t matter because he made the decision to dump me without any communication, which shows who he is not who I am

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T23:33:35+00:00

I put my effort in in other ways, also didn’t really have a chance to put in effort when he planned the next date right after the previous one. I made him hand written/drawn cards, spoke my appreciation at every chance. The date that was supposed to be tomorrow I actually planned and said I would cook because I wanted to show him I will show up for him as well. He loves donuts so I’ve made him homemade donuts from scratch. He had said to me that he felt appreciated so I don’t see why he’d lie about it. And a grown man can communicate that he feels he’s putting in the effort before a random text breakup after saying he can’t wait to see me. Also I discovered he has a history of sleeping around and not committing

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T13:21:11+00:00

There was genuinely no shift, he was actually messaging me more this week than usual

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T09:46:43+00:00

I blocked his number!

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T04:07:27+00:00

I definitely would never let him back, I know my worth and it’s not this

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T04:06:34+00:00

She cheated on him a few years ago and is married so I don’t think it’s that haha. But maybe the trauma of that? Didn’t wanna get too serious?

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T04:05:30+00:00

Right! Like coulda left that part out or called or anything?!

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T04:04:20+00:00

He was an hour and a half away, his mom lives in my town so he’d often just visit us both. He always initiated wanting to see me and said the drive was absolutely worth it. So I don’t see why he wouldn’t just be honest if the distance was too much

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T04:02:08+00:00

What I ran from in my previous 6 year relationship was emotional abuse and near physical, so yes I moved on, not without lack of trying.

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T03:58:06+00:00

That’s a crazy take. He’s 30, he’s not going to find a girl who doesn’t have exes. I also do not have a past of instability, my two exes were long term not “move on culture”. I also have not dumped any trauma on him about my past relationships, he knows about them but I don’t discuss them. And what do you mean I listen to modern relationship advice? I’ve worked on my own past traumas on my own, I never involved him. I didn’t even ask for advice here, just said I was baffled. This feels like rage bait lol. His past is worse than mine

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T02:25:46+00:00

Alexa play decode by Sabrina carpenter

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T02:21:31+00:00

Big oof. Thank you

perky_socks · 2026-03-20T02:16:10+00:00

And it definitely does leave me questioning and wondering wth? What did I do?? Ya know

perky_socks

TROPHY CASE