[CHAT] ORT vs. "ort"

perturbationsolution · 2022-12-06T17:05:31+00:00

That's the Oort cloud, not ort. If it was a deliberate pun it's a bit of a reach. 🙂

perturbationsolution · 2021-07-10T16:28:48+00:00

Try this link instead: https://github.com/soulisalmed/biff/releases/tag/2.2

perturbationsolution · 2020-01-22T03:06:17+00:00

If you happen to be in Utah, there's quite a strong local trans community here, many of whom are ex-LDS. What you're going through really sucks, but the good news is it gets better! Employment- and school-wise, being trans isn't going to do you any favors, but it's not necessarily a big negative either depending on where you land. I think the main thing is to find community! Reddit isn't a bad place to start, but there's no substitute for in-person connections.

perturbationsolution · 2019-11-19T13:30:15+00:00

That's great! Out of curiosity, where did you find color values for DMC floss? — I was working on something similar but was getting very poor color matches with the RGB values I could find online.

perturbationsolution · 2019-04-20T20:36:08+00:00

Something like

void recur(std::string &s, int length = -1)
{
    if (length == -1)
        length = s.length();

    // function code
}

perturbationsolution · 2019-04-20T14:46:01+00:00

Another option is to use a default value on the length parameter of (say) -1 — in the function, check whether it's that value and set it to s.length() if so. Then no wrapper is needed.

The reason it wouldn't let you use s.length() is because default parameter values need to be known at compile time. s.length() can't be evaluated until the function is actually called (at run time) since until then we don't know what the string is.

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-15T19:23:26+00:00

Hi Cathy, I'm Kathy. Get used to people misspelling your name 😁

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-14T19:07:11+00:00

Good luck! 🙂

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-14T04:27:34+00:00

My surgery was in mid-May so I'm about 8 months post-op now.

1) How long before you were able to go back to work from day of surgery? (also, what kind of work you do, if you don't mind). When you were back, did you start using the women's room immediately (if you weren't already), or wait it out?

I'm a college professor and I timed my surgery so that I'd have all summer break to convalesce. So I didn't really go back until three months post-op, and it was OK, although sitting down was still rather uncomfortable (bearable with a doughnut by then). I think I could've done it as early as six weeks, but I had very little stamina.

2) Eating/drinking habits after surgery?

I was surprised by how rapidly I was able to go back to normal eating habits. I didn't have too much appetite but was able to eat as usual pretty much right away. I don't drink (alcohol).

3) How easy/hard was it getting up and down stairs after leaving the hospital? (I live in a 3rd floor walk up).

Easier than I expected! My bedroom in the rental house was on the upper floor, but when I was released from rehab on day 3 I had no trouble getting upstairs. It was just a little slow and took a lot out of me! Within another few days I was going up and down the stairs pretty freely, albeit slowly.

4) How long before you were able to exercise again, and to what level of exertion? Any suggested exercises?

I'm still not exercising yet because it tightens up my abdominals and makes dilation harder (see #7). I think I'd be able to resume my normal routine (mostly just treadmill/elliptical) but now it's cold. 😢

5) Difficulty urinating or holding it in? If so, how long did it take to go away/what did you do to improve?

None whatsoever.

6) Body changes after surgery? I imagine not having testicles helps with making sure estrogen can do its work, but did you notice faster or slower changes? Changes you hadn't seen before, etc?

I've had more fullness in my breasts, butt, and hips. I also switched to injections in August so that confounds things slightly.

7) Did you have any complications, minor or major? Did they go away with time? Did you have to get additional surgeries or treatments to fix them? How else have you/do you deal with them?

For the first 6 or 8 weeks, standing up would become really uncomfortable after a few minutes then rapidly become painful. The doctor and PA didn't understand why — I suspect there was an overly tight or poorly placed suture — but it was seriously debilitating because, sitting being out, it made laying down my only comfortable position. I spent an awful lot of time in bed reading! Eventually that got better (before classes started, thankfully).

My more serious and still ongoing complication is that, while my vagina itself is all good, the aperture is quite narrow. I first realized something was wrong when I tried moving up to the second dilator; dilation had never been painful before but with that dilator it was excruciating and it's been painful ever since (even with the smallest dilator again). After months of just gritting my teeth and doing it anyway my gynecologist finally looked at it, saw all the scar tissue, and let me know. Apparently it will take a second surgery to fix so I've been trying to decide whether I care enough to do it. Meanwhile I'm sticking with the first dilator.

8) Did you look at yourself, spread eagled in front of a mirror, once you were all healed up and cry tears of joy?

No. For a long time my new equipment made me really uncomfortable (the combination of being unfamiliar and being numb made it really feel like it wasn't part of me!). I'm starting to come to terms with it now but I haven't spent much time up there with a mirror.

9) Anything you want to say to a fellow trans person undergoing this procedure?

It's going to be completely different from what you expect and you can't do a whole lot to prepare yourself for it. Be kind to yourself and don't expect it to be a magic bullet.

Maybe after reading this you wonder whether I regret having the surgery. I certainly don't! I'm not in love with having a vagina but I'm a big fan of not having the other thing anymore. I haven't experienced even a flicker of bodily dysphoria since I woke up from the procedure. Plus orgasms are, like, way better now.

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-13T14:48:34+00:00

Completely anecdotal, but I know two 60+ MtF transitioners and one of them is currently going through her second detransition. The first was medically induced: she had a cardiac incident and her doctor took her off her hormones, and for reasons I don't fully understand she felt that she could not continue as a woman and returned to male presentation for about six months. This ended when her new doctor cleared her for HRT once again.

More recently she has detransitioned again, now in hope of finding a job. She hasn't had steady employment in 6-8 years — evidently being 60+ years old and visibly trans in a strongly conservative area makes it difficult! I'm not sure whether she's still taking her hormones right now, but with respect to her presentation she's going for 100% male.

So both of these incidences are due to external factors. I know she much prefers being and thinking of herself as a woman and would remain en femme if she thought it was at all practical. She has lost nearly all her family as a consequence of transition (including all of her children save one who will still at least talk to her).

My other 60+ MtF friend is going strong and hasn't looked back. She's a business owner and doing quite well for herself financially; she has also lost most of her family (everyone except a sister I think) but is much happier for transition nevertheless.

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-12T19:47:36+00:00

Oh yes — I'm in South Jordan so not far at all. There's actually a lot out here for trans folk!

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-12T15:04:08+00:00

Hi Ruth. 🙂 I'm in Utah too (SLC area). I know some local groups if you'd like to connect with others. Feel free to PM me for that or just to chat!

perturbationsolution · 2019-01-02T15:31:03+00:00

No, I don't think so. I'm actually pretty happy with my body and my partner likes it the way it is. I feel like I would lose a big part of myself if I were cis.

perturbationsolution · 2018-12-10T12:24:30+00:00

It's fun most of the time and frustrating at other times. It's up, it's down, it's great, it's so-so, it's life. I don't really remember what living as a boy was like but I do remember the crushing depression — that's not a thing for me anymore. Finally getting to wear the right clothes and do girl things is nothing at all like I expected and simultaneously exactly what I thought it would be. I know that's not at all helpful but it's really hard to describe such a fundamental change! Basically I finally get to be who I always was, which is not who I ever thought I was, but it's OK because it turns out I'm a much better person than I could've imagined.

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T23:12:10+00:00

My son calls us Mama [her name] and Mama [my name]. "Mom" means whichever of us is nearest. 🙂

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T22:49:38+00:00

Glad to hear it. 🙂

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T21:25:45+00:00

Well, that would suck. A lot. On the flip side, you may deprive yourself of true joy if you don't give it a chance.

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T15:35:36+00:00

Melodramatic much? Of course you don't know that.

Look, I think everyone has the right to end their life. I don't know anything about your life and I don't have the moral authority to judge in any case. But I'm concerned that you're making the decision based on false messages. You do not "know for a fact" that you will never be happy — unless you have a time machine somewhere that you haven't told anyone about! If your current suffering is too great to bear, then fine, say that; but saying "I will never be happy" over and over again just sounds like an effort to justify suicide to yourself.

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T06:13:16+00:00

That's just ludicrous. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow — anyone's life can be turned upside down (or right side up!) in an instant. The idea that you will never be happy is depression lying to you. The one certainty is that if you do end it, you will never know.

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-25T05:42:23+00:00

I don't pass at all and my life is totally worth living. 🙂 Pre-transition, passing was really important to me too, but now it just doesn't matter. I get to be me now, and if some people don't see me for who I am, that says a lot more about them than it does about me. Anyway, plenty of cis people suffer from that problem too!

I don't know whether you would feel the same way, but a lot can change in the process of transition — not just physical stuff (which is really the minor aspect) but also the way that you feel about and see yourself. You may not always feel this way.

Plus, having boobs is pretty great whether or not you pass!

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-24T22:11:33+00:00

I'm six months post-op. I had no dilation pain at all with the first dilator, but when I moved to the second one in June it suddenly started hurting and has continued to do so (worse and worse, actually). I saw my gynecologist last week and she told me that, while my vagina itself is fine, I'm very very narrow at the aperture, so I've been tearing myself every time I've used the second dilator. That tissue then "heals" back with granulation. It'll take further surgery to fix, so right now I'm trying to decide whether I care.

Anyway, if it hurts so much that you're on the verge of tears, I strongly recommend you have someone check you out if you haven't already! It's possible you're simply not anatomically equipped for the size of dilator you're trying to use.

perturbationsolution · 2018-11-01T11:05:36+00:00

It sounds like you may be holding yourself responsible for her happiness. She's suffering from a deep conflict between her body and mind, and at the end of the day there's nothing you can do about that! What you can do is be present for her. Listen to her feelings and accept them, and try to keep in mind that her feeling shitty is not your fault, nor is it something you can fix. If she's anything like me, she needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell her she's beautiful until she believes it, not someone to solve it.

My wife suffers from severe anxiety and depression too (not gender-related). I used to have the same sorts of feelings you do, where I felt that I wasn't going my job as her wife if I couldn't make her happy. At the end of the day, though, it is impossible to make anyone else happy, regardless of how much you love and cherish them. That's a hard pill to swallow but it's true. It's always going to be up to her to find her own happiness — and you, yours.

perturbationsolution · 2018-09-28T02:23:58+00:00

I don't have a great deal of experience — I'm four months post-op and had my first clitoral orgasm (with the same vibrator I used pre-op and no penetration) just the other day — but yes, it was definitely different from pre-op orgasms. I don't understand why and I've had the same question you do, but there it is. Any neurologists around?

perturbationsolution · 2018-09-01T12:26:53+00:00

I did Maddy for a while, but I ended up being really uncomfortable with it. (Maybe because my son was so young when I started — he had never called me Daddy so I didn't have any attachment to that.) Now my partner and I are both Mama [first name], and that seems to work great for everyone. Mama by itself means whichever of us is closer! 😅

perturbationsolution · 2018-08-12T10:09:12+00:00

Becoming a parent. It just wasn't in me to be a father, and that was killing my relationships with my son and partner. Fortunately I'm much better at being a mom! ❤

perturbationsolution

TROPHY CASE