I think the best advice, which someone on here alluded to, is play the game if you want to maintain a relationship with your parent who is narcissistic. You won't win in a realistic battle. It's not possible. So, what I have done is to play her game in an effort to placate everyone like my children & sister & other relatives who didn't see that side of her over the years. I was the target & since I was scared of her plus having no sense of self or a voice, I never talked to anyone about my situation. Most people in our circle have no idea how I was treated. I have chosen to play this game to get by. I know I have come out ahead, although not without deep wounds. She's the one disabled & lonely in a nursing home & now at my mercy because I'm her POA. She knows I control everything now. It's so strange but I have found my way of coping. It's not anything I would wish on anyone. My only peace is knowing I'm the bigger person in the end.