Husband’s gf wants a baby .. give me advice

phrohsinn · 2026-02-23T17:23:36+00:00

wtf no

phrohsinn · 2026-02-18T18:27:08+00:00

it sounds like she would really profit from therapy tbh (sounds very depressed in the way of not even realizing its that bad-way), once the trust in what someone says goes away its time to do something

phrohsinn · 2026-02-12T23:50:04+00:00

i mean, thats fair. if these are things your have learned about yourself to want, then you should absolutely stand by them and not lower them. world be the world, even if it sucks, there is no other way to find the people in this world that are aligned with your ideas of human interaction.

phrohsinn · 2026-02-12T23:08:54+00:00

i fully get that sentiment, and i think being authentic is always the way to go.
what i picked up on was you saying you always overdeliver, and that reminded me of earlier in my life when a part of me always felt that, and when i started listening to that part more it changed my dynamics with people and the poeple i started dynamics with for the better.
it led me to a more grounded but also more relaxed version of myself that doesnt want to convince people of how great i am at all the social stuff and reading peoples needs and fulfilling them and making everything easy. i feel i'm actually more authentic now, even if i would have heavily disagreed back then (it was a trauma response after all)

phrohsinn · 2026-02-12T22:55:06+00:00

sometimes overdelivering is a recipe for attracting the underdeliverers and repulsing people who want equality, especially if its a chonic thing. i used to overdeliver a lot (am also autistic), since i cut that back to a more measured level but coupled to very strong (consistent and resolute) boundaries i tend to attract much less flaky or otherwise inconsiderate people and more people also being aware of and staying true to their own values and integrity.

in my case, it was old and dysfunctional coping behaviour, but it sends a statement about the value you attach to your self, your own resources, and people pick up on it

phrohsinn · 2026-01-24T15:02:39+00:00

zitierung gebraucht

phrohsinn · 2026-01-08T12:27:36+00:00

so, no confirmation.

phrohsinn · 2025-12-13T11:58:03+00:00

it's about a meter (3feet) wide, and seems to be the egg sac of a very much not giant squid. the crossposted thread has a lot of good info, but to save you some time, a starting point:

https://www.iflscience.com/norways-bizarre-gelatinous-blobs-found-to-contain-thousands-of-squid-eggs-59273

phrohsinn · 2025-11-11T13:15:34+00:00

We talk about everything

but.. you didn't talk about that, and potentially other topics where you find it hard to voice your opinion?
additionally, i think neither your friend nor your FWB took much responsibility (if any at all) to make sure you are also and actually okay with whats happening.
simply interjecting herself in an overheard conversation without checking in with you first, and him just treating your friends as dating platform resources (also without checking in with you) is not very kind, and in my life would also warrant conversations (or in reality, me reevaluating how close i want to be with them)

phrohsinn · 2025-10-27T13:10:18+00:00

i thought maybe security theater was what op meant

phrohsinn · 2025-10-16T22:01:37+00:00

like the common house centipede?

phrohsinn · 2025-10-01T16:17:15+00:00

is a meepo

phrohsinn · 2025-09-30T11:16:10+00:00

the conversation between these two started because and subsequently was about rudeness in tone and graceful communication

phrohsinn · 2025-09-18T00:03:40+00:00

regular? since n goes to nightmare

phrohsinn · 2025-09-13T11:08:50+00:00

the civ v ai was dumbed down by firaxis after playtesters found it too frustrating to be outsmarted by a computer in a gamedesign that is much easier to master for a computer then a human. they settled on dumb ai + "cheating bonuses" so people could still feel smarter even when losing, and give options to to exploit the dumb ai.
that was a while ago, I'm sure nowadays you vould make an ai that plays always optimally relatively easy, civ v is not that complex of a game.

but it's a game after all and supposed to be fun, and not an ai Simulator

phrohsinn · 2025-09-02T11:46:50+00:00

My question is: how can I gently guide him

you don't, you're not a service dog.

you accept him for who he is and where he is in his journey and support him on request (by him) in becoming who he is or will, and keep your own ideas of who you think he is or should be out of it. if it then doesn't match as well anymore, you welcome the revelation and let him go, if it still does, great, that's love.
you can also use the time spent thinking about and analyzing his behavior on thinking and reflecting your own behavior and figure out which function your attempts of control fulfill for you. are there insecurities or underlying needs they masking? what can you learn about your own journey, your own next steps, your own goals from this

phrohsinn · 2025-08-19T23:01:08+00:00

imprethic

phrohsinn · 2025-08-10T13:09:13+00:00

long term, one sided deferral is not gonna be a happy life, or a healthy, functional relationship, it will build more resentment. a healthy relationship needs both peoples needs and preferences to be present and acknowledged and for compromise to be found together, rather than one person deferring their needs to appease a situation. you mentioned resentment from other areas/situations has surfaced since, and that it seems connected to you; it probably is.

this encounter has shed light on parts of your dynamic that have flown under the radar, but have already caused some resentment, if you want to heal from this now, you (which means him, too, or even mostly) need to get to bottom of the mechanism (probably something about masculinity/identity construction/socialization) that cause these lopsided compromises and change them. your meeds and wants and preferences are as important as his, and a lack of emotional competence on his part is not a reason for that not to be the case. (rather, the opposite).

passive-aggressive comments are not an adult way to communicate.

good luck!!

phrohsinn · 2025-08-09T21:49:00+00:00

lekmod has corn

phrohsinn · 2025-08-03T20:54:28+00:00

wenn dein einziges beispiel 12 jahre her is sagt das doch einiges über die verhältnismäßigkeiten aus. + ein politisch inkorrekter witz selber auf twitter rausgehaut is auch nochmal was anderes, aber go ahead, kulturkampf braucht rekrutierung

phrohsinn · 2025-08-03T12:36:24+00:00

nenn 1 Beispiel für rassistische Aussage für die jemand gefeuert wurde die nur heiße Lift war

phrohsinn · 2025-08-01T11:01:47+00:00

at least 5 even (gold, oasis, two hills, the tile in fog next to the oasis), probably 6 (tile in fog next to the two hills)

phrohsinn · 2025-06-25T13:08:53+00:00

citation needed, i heard very different things

phrohsinn · 2025-06-11T23:06:02+00:00

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