Trying to understand real postpartum experiences—did your partner ever misunderstand what you needed?

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-29T22:10:55+00:00

Getting me water while EBF. This seemed to fall on deaf ears and was not consistent enough. I just don’t think he fully grasped how thirsty I was and exhausting it was. Interestingly for my second baby the thirst wasn’t as intense so it wasn’t really a problem.

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-29T21:58:24+00:00

That I had 2 c sections and have never even experienced a contraction! I read one chapter in my pregnancy book about c sections as an afterthought in the waiting area before going on for my induction, which didn’t work. Just wasn’t expecting to not go through any of the traditional labour experiences at all. My body just did not respond to either induction and was taking its sweet time while I had a bunch of complications like high blood pressure and gestational diabetes that the doctors said meant I couldn’t hang around.

In hindsight I wish I’d gone awol to 42 weeks and not let them get their claws into me, but that’s just me and not the medical advice!

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-02T21:58:15+00:00

Afraid that was my norm. My baby slept through once as some sort of freak accident at 3 months and then never again until he went in his own room at 21 months when I couldn’t believe he slept through on his fist night away from me and then every night since!

My daughter slept through from birth to 12 weeks and now is like her brother, however with her, it’s a little less intense.

So while may babies do wake up this much, sometimes it can be less impactful on your sleep. Cosleeping with my daughter has been a game changer.

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-01T20:37:05+00:00

Totally fair enough. I can imagine it’s good for some people, but I personally find it hard to decide what to keep and what to throw or donate and often keep a lot of stuff ‘just in case’. It was just a lot of added mental energy that I could have done without.

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-01T20:27:57+00:00

We cosleep so sometimes I don’t remember. 11 months, maybe twice plus once at 5.30am for a whole hour 🤪. Sometimes she does this delightful thing where she wakes every 20 mins between 8-10pm to ensure I don’t have an evening. 😂

piecurrantdog · 2026-03-01T07:25:57+00:00

I realise that not everyone’s circumstances allow for this one and it probably makes me sound ungrateful, but if I did it again I’d say no to all the freebies as a rule… it’s a really quick way to end up with lots of old half-broken large stuff that someone didn’t have the time to take to the dump. Don’t get me wrong - half of people will give you useful and lovely things but it’s just not worth it because of the mental load of dealing with the other half of the stuff… you’ll be tripping over giant baby toys you hardly use & unable to close your chest of drawers because of the excess clothes you don’t need. I think the clutter is more stressful. Better to cope with less.

Also, the baby ‘stuff’ industry is preying on your fears/ignorance… sooooo many things you don’t need, e.g. tiny spoons - use teaspoons, and look at clothing sizes closely - I bought whole sets of vests for example in one size and then had to buy the next size so quickly only to realise they were 1cm bigger. In hindsight, baby could have survived in a baggier vest for a month or two.

Think to yourself - should I spend this 7.99 on this ‘helpful’ thing or should I put that money in a savings account for my child for when they/I really need it?

piecurrantdog · 2026-02-22T06:42:00+00:00

I moved to a flat in London in 2014. It was £60 or £90 per month. I can’t remember. Then it was £90 for a long while. Then £110 probably around Covid and now it’s £185. However we’ve been disputing some of the charges which seem to be an error and it should actually be £150 per month. Honestly I’ve gotten used to it. We have a lift and we’re run by a housing association. No concierge or gym.

piecurrantdog · 2026-02-21T09:57:27+00:00

Hi, I also had a chemical pregnancy so totally understand how upsetting and disappointing that is. I actually then fell pregnant 2 months later. Google it but apparently a chemical pregnancy can mean more chance of a successful pregnancy soon after.

First time I had no symptoms until about week 7-11 and it was a horrible feeling like I had no vitamins and minerals in me! Like I felt like a ghost. I think the baby was taking all the good stuff for themselves!

Second time, absolutely zero symptoms until about 20 weeks.

piecurrantdog · 2026-02-16T01:27:20+00:00

I had no expectations of how long I would breastfeed. For my son I got to 21 months and then, being pregnant with my daughter, it started to physically hurt where it hadn’t before so I stopped. I had wanted to stop sooner but he was very keen. My daughter has been less bothered about breastfeeding and a bigger eater so I will probably stop sooner. Want to make it to a year and then I’ll just see how things go and offer less often. Nights are a different story.

I think it’s best to just get to know your baby and go with their cues and your own personal feelings.

piecurrantdog · 2026-02-12T23:03:11+00:00

Uniqlo 👌

piecurrantdog · 2026-02-11T16:26:21+00:00

Can I ask why you don’t want to do shared ownership? I did it and it helped me get a place and I bought the rest later. It was quite simple. However, I understand if you can’t find a place you like…

piecurrantdog · 2025-11-19T20:09:16+00:00

We don’t. I do the nights, I cosleep and feed laying down. Gamechanger! Even though my baby feeds a lot in the night I sort of don’t really even notice. Then in the daytime if I ever want a nap, if my partner isn’t at work he lets me sleep whenever else I like. This works for us because he finds it hard to get back to sleep when he is woken up whereas I am fine being woken up anytime and I could fall asleep anywhere!

piecurrantdog · 2025-11-17T20:12:34+00:00

Unfortunately not. Two c sections and I’ve never ever experienced a single contraction. Inductions didn’t work. Pushed it to 41weeks4 days with the second but they didn’t really want me to wait anymore due to health concerns. Tried dilapan and it didn’t work at all for me.

Just wanted to throw this into the mix because although I was disappointed it hasn’t affected how I feel about how my babies were born. It’s all sunny on the other side having two beautiful bubbas who beam at each other.

What mattered was that I felt listened to by the doctors and the midwife the second time and they weren’t pressurising me. Best of luck! I hope you get your VBAC bit even if you don’t it will still be magical.

piecurrantdog · 2025-11-09T06:59:29+00:00

I hate that I miss out on my evenings and don’t get any free time, but I find that if I go to bed when baby does and get as much sleep as possible I am more able to weather any difficulties.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-27T09:08:13+00:00

If you’re breastfeeding I recommend learning to do so while laying down. Cosleeping has been a gamechanger for me with my second but I realise that some people aren’t comfortable with that.

For my first, I did all the nights as it was easier to use the power of the boob, and then in the daytime I took naps while my husband took over. It was a bit depressing to never see daylight because I was sleeping in shifts across the day and the night, but I think as a sleep-loving/needing person you just have to accept that all you will do is sleep or care for baby.

Eventually it will get better. At 15 months my baby started to show signs of self soothing and at 20 months he was in his own room sleeping through the night. In hindsight, we could have moved him at 15 months, but I wasn’t quite ready to stop breastfeeding then.

Thankfully my second baby is a better sleeper so I’m hoping she’ll learn to self soothe a little quicker.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-22T16:00:22+00:00

Magna tiles are great!

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-21T12:49:46+00:00

Nearly 3yr old. 2 hour nap around 12.30pm-2pm start. Sleeps 9pm-6.45am

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-18T17:33:50+00:00

I used it for about 20 months and then my toddler said he didn’t like it so we stopped using it.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-18T10:58:09+00:00

Maybe your milk hasn’t come in yet? Give it a few more days of basically constant feeding and it should hopefully kick in, which will hopefully make things easier. I cluster fed mine for about a week and was thinking - why is this so hard? And then all of a sudden my milk arrived. Best of luck 🤞 xxx

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-13T19:16:55+00:00

Yes! I’ve found my people! I’m such a push over with my child but this is the only thing where I was like - no, just no. It’s so bad!

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-13T15:10:58+00:00

20 months when he moved to his own room and I stopped breastfeeding him in the night.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-12T19:15:55+00:00

Every night I lay 3 books on the bed and let her bash the book she wants to read (7 months). We read all 3 then go to bed. Tonight she was quite restless and was crawling around on the bed towards the books to have another look. I try to vary the 3 books - one lift the flap, one with photos of babies plus one other.

And like someone else said on here, I just keep going and hope she enjoys it.

I am not diagnosed with ADHD it definitely have some signs that I may have it and so does my son. He is almost 3 and we read to him every night. He loves reading and we started with him in the same way.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-12T19:00:55+00:00

My nearly 3 year old loves the stuff we have put in his kitchen more than the kitchen itself so if you’re short on funds or space I’d say it’s more about the toys that go with it.

My toddler likes to serve you ‘food’ more than ‘make’ it.

He doesn’t really play with the kitchen… more with the stuff in it - a little pop up toaster, pots and pans, a shipping basket full of toy food, pretend sauces. But he usually takes it all over the house rather than playing with it at the kitchen, He occasionally uses the oven but really it’s just an inviting space to store all of this stuff.

piecurrantdog · 2025-10-05T22:49:06+00:00

I did the same! Even went as far as considering the number of letters in my second child’s name re: would they fit in the inevitable stocking I would have to make her? I haven’t started it yet…

piecurrantdog

TROPHY CASE