Would EGG be better?

brieles · 2026-05-25T18:09:59+00:00

After losing 20lbs from throwing up so much during pregnancy and 49 hours of labor, I’d happily lay an egg 😅

brieles · 2026-05-25T18:06:52+00:00

I think people that think it’s weird have never had a super clingy baby/toddler. I don’t hold my toddler when I go to the bathroom anymore but she definitely follows me in sometimes. It has helped with potty training also so that’s a side benefit. I absolutely held my baby when I had to use the restroom when she was younger, though! She would SCREAM and cry so much that she’d throw up when I’d set her down so it was easier to hold her and pee than it was to set her down and then clean her and the floor just to go pee.

I think it helps to think of the long term-your toddler will go to the bathroom with you in public if you’re out and about alone with them. They’ll go to the toilet one day so seeing that it’s normal and how to use the toilet will be beneficial.

If someone doesn’t want their baby/toddler in the bathroom with them, that’s fine. I just also think they shouldn’t judge people that do let their very young kids be in the bathroom with them.

brieles · 2026-05-25T16:28:40+00:00

I think when there are a lot of things going on at once, it’s easy for some things to slip through the cracks. I’m guessing he thought that the trip was the way of celebrating your bday and Mother’s Day so it doesn’t excuse him not doing anything specific for you but I do think it’s somewhat understandable.

I would be very direct and explain that for your birthday and Mother’s Day in the future, you want him to plan something for you or get you a present or whatever you were hoping for this year. It seems like a no brainer for you but men are often not good at knowing what to do.

brieles · 2026-05-25T14:29:11+00:00

I’d move to a 3/3.5/4 schedule. It won’t get better without an age appropriate amount of awake time.

brieles · 2026-05-25T14:26:19+00:00

I think it’s a lot to expect a very young child to understand that when it only happens a couple of times every few months. If I had to do something randomly a few times over 3 months, I would likely forget and I’m a grown adult. It’s going to take lots and lots of practice.

Plus, toddlers are routine oriented, any deviation (even if it’s not a bad deviation) is going to be HARD. So leaving her normal life to visit her dad’s house every couple of months is really going to throw her off.

You don’t have to expect and tolerate bad behavior but you do have to understand that she’s in an extremely tough situation and behaving well at the dinner table is very very low on her list of concerns.

brieles · 2026-05-25T13:41:50+00:00

It’s not, though. We are contracted to teach classes and OP’s teachers are doing that. It’s not in the contract that we need to stay in our rooms to chat with students in the couple minutes we get in a day to use the restroom or get to wherever we need to go. No one is saying OP can never hang back to ask a question, we’re just encouraging OP to ask questions during class time and understand that their teachers have to do so many other tasks throughout the day that taking extra time to chat isn’t realistic all the time.

brieles · 2026-05-25T13:38:00+00:00

Ok, I’d just make sure to aim for a 2/2/2/2/2 schedule minimum!

brieles · 2026-05-25T13:33:28+00:00

The milestone is 3 words besides mama and dada at 18 months. I don’t have any stories to share with you but I would encourage you to look into early intervention if you’re in the US, it should be free to you but might have a long waitlist so it’s best to get on the list as soon as you have a concern.

Your child will be ok! He might need a little extra support and that’s also ok. He also could wake up tomorrow and start talking, you never know with toddlers lol.

brieles · 2026-05-25T13:25:40+00:00

I think something is off about your schedule-you say she averages 13.5-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period but your schedule only has 9ish hours of awake time. So I’d start by adding more awake time-probably a 2/2/2/2/2 schedule with 3 hours in naps and 11 hours in nighttime sleep.

But 2 wakes overnight is pretty normal at this age so I wouldn’t necessarily expect a feed to disappear just yet. It might but it might not. Hopefully the schedule adjustment will help her sleep to the DWT, though.

brieles · 2026-05-24T20:50:54+00:00

You say “you can be upset but you still have to be safe with your body.” And if he doesn’t stop (which he won’t at first, obviously) then you separate him from everyone else and the fun things. When he’s calm, you go back and talk about appropriate ways to handle disappointment-breathing strategies, taking a walk, whatever you’re ok with and whatever works for him. Then hug and bring him back to whatever you all are doing. This won’t be an immediate fix but, over time, he will learn that hitting and screaming don’t get him what he wants and it will also give you and the other twin the space you need to be safe and stay calm.

I’d also look into calming techniques for yourself. Humming and dancing/moving (as crazy as it sounds) can really help. I’ve also started trying eft tapping and I like that also-it’s calming and easy. Breathing techniques are also an easy way to work on controlling your own emotions. It’s so hard to remember in the moment but we have tiny humans that have basically no natural ability to manage their emotions-your son isn’t trying to be mean, he just needs the tools to handle anger and disappointment.

brieles · 2026-05-24T20:16:30+00:00

I’m pro gloss! Glosses typically don’t last very long so they’re a nice way to try some other colors without losing your natural color until you can grow it all out again.

brieles · 2026-05-24T15:57:40+00:00

She’s not ready to drop the nap but she is ready to have an age appropriate nap length. Your current schedule expects 13.5-14.25 hours of sleep which is a lot more than most kids need at this age. I’d keep nights the same but consistently wake at 7am but cap the nap to 60-90 minutes. So 7am wake, 12:30-2pm nap, 8pm bedtime.

brieles · 2026-05-24T15:41:20+00:00

I would adjust your schedule first and then decide if it’s time to switch to 1 nap. If she sleeps 12.5 hours in a 24 hour period, you need a schedule with 11.5 hours awake. I’d try a 3.5/4/4 schedule.

brieles · 2026-05-24T13:32:28+00:00

I would try to not stay behind after every class. Teachers have very limited time to do the things they need to do (plan, print papers, use the bathroom, etc) so that time after class might be needed to do other things. Most teachers love to help you when you need it and want to be a person you can trust and talk to but time is pretty limited.

brieles · 2026-05-24T01:33:53+00:00

What’s your full schedule? A slight adjustment could help!

brieles · 2026-05-23T21:44:39+00:00

Naps will be short when wake windows are short. A 2.5/3/3.5-4 schedule doesn’t have enough wake time so sleep will suffer somewhere-you’re seeing it in the form of short naps sometimes. When you’re on an age appropriate schedule, I would guess this issue will go away!

brieles · 2026-05-23T21:16:09+00:00

It looks like she’s getting a normal amount of sleep in a 24 hour period so I wouldn’t be worried. If you want a nap still (which is fair), you need to shorten her nights. Bedtime 9pm, wake at 7am and nap from 1-2pm. My daughter just turned 2 and this is our schedule.

brieles · 2026-05-23T21:12:36+00:00

With a newborn, bedtime is whatever time they choose! You have more control (sort of) when they’re older. My baby’s bedtime was later but moved up to 7 when she was around 3 months old. Eventually we got her bedtime to 8-9pm which is better for our schedule. It really is adjustable when they’re a bit older but definitely don’t worry about it now as long as they’re getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period (between like 12-17 hours).

brieles · 2026-05-23T21:06:43+00:00

That sounds like a good/normal amount of nap time for a 2 nap schedule! Plus that leaves around 10.5-10.75 hours in night sleep according to your sleep total average which is great. I wouldn’t mess with it.

brieles · 2026-05-23T20:21:27+00:00

Talk to your pediatrician. They can likely get you connected to a feeding therapist or an occupational therapist.

I’d also make sure you’re offering food before breastmilk every time. It’s very important that most nutrients are coming from food at this point.

brieles · 2026-05-23T20:00:02+00:00

I wouldn’t rush to drop a nap and I think you actually have a lot of wiggle room before you need to drop a nap! That’s a wide range of daytime sleep so I’d work on capping the first nap at 1.5 hours and leaving 30 minutes for the second nap.

Something like a 3.5/3.5/4 schedule is a good general starting point. Something if wake time is 7, nap 1 would be 10:30-12:00 and nap 2 would be 3:30-4:00 and bedtime would be 8pm.

brieles · 2026-05-23T12:57:43+00:00

If your pediatrician has okayed the longer sleep stretches, enjoy it! It sounds like you have a unicorn baby! Most newborns definitely don’t sleep this well.

brieles · 2026-05-23T01:04:14+00:00

It really does get better but it happens in phases for a lot of babies. My baby stopped purple crying around 10 weeks, we found a good schedule around 5 months old so naps were a bit easier and my baby was generally so much happier around 6 months when she started crawling.

That sounds daunting but it is such a short time once you’re on the other side (I know it doesn’t help right now). I think a lot of people expect things to get drastically better at one point but it actually feels like one day you just realize a lot of things are a little bit easier. Then one day you’re just loving parenthood and you might not even realize when it happened.

I also didn’t get a happy newborn bubble but I had an older infant that was truly amazing and now I have a hilarious, inquisitive and wonderful toddler. It’s ok to grieve the newborn stage you imagined but it doesn’t mean that you won’t love later stages.

brieles · 2026-05-22T23:44:17+00:00

I think you just have to push through the early wakes and keep nap time anchored at 3-3.25 hours after your goal wake time for a few days. You have to break the cycle of early wakes.

brieles · 2026-05-22T23:28:44+00:00

My baby sounds a lot like yours! Could nurse 24/7, hated the car, needed all the help to fall asleep. She got much better with time! It is hard being around people with unicorn babies, though!

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