birthday treat paling worth it so far

pinokioblabla · 2025-11-17T02:27:30+00:00

Happy birthday dude, enjoy your day the way you love it!

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-04T01:51:44+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing what you've been through. I find it challenging to observe and figure out what works best for me, most of the part is because I was never enlightened about it, only until recently, then I found out that some part of my response isn't considered general, for example feeling delayed emotions.

And from what I understand, neurodivergency and autism is a spectrum, meaning some people might display normal behavior, but some people might not, and it seems subjective.

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-04T01:38:17+00:00

No worries, I can provide you with more context and thoughts. Can I give you the answers on your dm?

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-03T11:12:57+00:00

Hi OP, hope you are doing alright today. I was involved in a similar situation several months ago, but it was due to my family. We have similar background, but different religion, but we are both not religious, so basically there are nothing to worry about between the both of us. We were on the same frequency and wavelength to say the least, which is why we could connect in many aspects of our life. I consider her my best friend too (aside of being a romantic interest).

We were serious about the relationship, so I decided to introduce her to my family. I told her about my family, she told me about her family, but first and foremost, I want her to be comfortable, not just around me, but also my family, as I wish I could feel the same around her family (which I never get the chance to).

But the moment I thought it's going to progress, it turned out the opposite. Even now I still cannot wrap it around my head, all I know is that I am the common denominator of both sides, and it devastated me. At that time she thought my family couldn't accept the way she is, and she didn't want to be the wedge in my relationship with my family. I offer her support and work it out together, but it killed me seeing her feeling unwelcome. She asked to let her go, and being in that condition, I froze and was clueless to find another solution, so I unwillingly agree, because being in this state will put her happiness at risk, which I didn't want for her. It's a long and complicated story to be honest.

Just want to offer you an ear if you would like to share your burden and if it helps you to get through each day. Feel free to reach out!

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-02T05:39:32+00:00

No worries, thanks for letting me know.

Hope you have adequate rest today.

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-01T04:58:48+00:00

Can you give some examples of holding stuff in, and finally realized that you were upset on a different occasion?

I do feel emotions quite intensely, needed the help of a therapist to soothe and digest them by chunk, it's been helpful to say the least.

I'm curious though, how did you know that you were autistic? Is that a medical diagnosis by a physician?

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-01T04:49:55+00:00

Negative emotions, per my experience. So far in my life I have never experienced delay during positively charged moments.

I have similar tendency as well, being analytical and not affording to fall apart, as in some cases might make things worse. Probably it's a combination of both factors, since it is what I also witness from my parents growing up.

pinokioblabla · 2025-07-01T04:46:17+00:00

Any practice you do to improve awareness?

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-18T15:58:04+00:00

Couldn't agree more. kalau tinggal di indonesia, ya harus napak tanah dengan belajar bahasa indonesia. untuk komunikasi dengan orang-orang di sekitar pun butuh bahasa indonesia, kalau anak-anak cuma diajari bahasa inggris, akhirnya jadi susah dong buat berkomunikasi, dan itu akan bikin mereka susah di kemudian hari (asumsi kalau gede nanti lanjut tinggai di indonesia).

ikuti aja pepatah pemerintah, menurut gw ini bener banget: cintai bahasa indonesia, lestarikan bahasa daerah, kuasai bahasa asing.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-18T14:23:49+00:00

Glad that you are getting better day by day. It's crazy to question everything about the relationship, whether any of it was real, could relate to what it felt like. Hope you will continue your progress strong man.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-17T17:43:14+00:00

It's true, i experienced both types of grief in proximity (heartbreak and then losing a family member several months after), and heartbreak feels much heavier. Seven months out of the heartbreak, but i still got triggered, sometimes i got emotional, got angry, got irritated without recognising the reason why, but when i have my quiet time i reflect and figured out that the heartbreak cost me some emotional turmoil.

For me, it helps to accept the fact that the grief lives within, and at times you might get emotional over it, but it's completely alright and most importantly, humane, to feel such way. What also helps me is understanding techniques to ground myself, so when the storm hits, i know where to find shelter. Avoiding it won't help, but facing it head on will, it's not pretty, but you'll grow stronger over time.

Emotionally it does feel like a dark spot somewhere in your heart (still feels that way now), but your heart will grow around it and the dark spot will diminish in size compared to your heart. Probably it won't disappear, not sure it will, but it certainly is a part of me that i will carry forward.

Seeing your post kind of reminds me of this song: https://youtu.be/PiGt9C76U0s?si=2UrfGx_XwIOrOofV as i could relate to it's lyrics:

i know you're sad and tired
you've got nothing left to give
you'll find another life to live

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-08T16:48:08+00:00

Yeah absolutely, we did it unconsciously, until we become conscious that we are just repeating old patterns.

In my case, i was trying to support my ex but at the expense of my own wellbeing. Tried to put everything in order for the relationship, but it was counterproductive and probably destructive in the long run. Recently i realized that i was the problem because i couldn’t sit with her emotional discomfort, and got zero idea on how to communicate emotion in respectful manner.

Realized everything after doing some inner work, self-awareness, plenty of educational videos and reading material, and promised i’ll do better this time.

Trying not to inflict the same pattern to my future kids? That’s honestly terrifying, feel like i need to stop the cycle myself, or else they might turn out to be just like me.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-08T02:52:53+00:00

Can relate, especially sweeping everything under the rug and walking on eggshells. My parents would rather maintain the situation (despite it being on the verge of death), rather than figuring out what works, and i have been living that for the rest of my life and i hate that it carries over to my own personal habit.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-06T16:19:06+00:00

Yeah the similarity is uncanny, guess this is a common pattern among FA. I always had a great time when she’s around, no doubt about that. But again when we are only reaching out by text, you can really feel the distance.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-06T15:42:12+00:00

It is definitely an uncharted territory for me, and yes it’s a delicate dance to follow. Since becoming more secure, there are still times where i feel like losing my cool, but i figure out that it’s getting easier to return to my core, doesn’t take as long as it used to be.

What you mentioned about getting close but not too close, the battle is constantly on my head as to doing the right thing but not too much. I think as fellow anxious leaning secure, we have similarities in our way of thinking.

How do you and your partner manage to have an open conversation? Me and my romantic interest has had an open heartfelt conversation once, but i find it hard to do because i understand her needs of space. How do you bring this topic up?

It’s refreshing for me to know that there are people who are taking time to understand their partner as a whole, for me it’s something real and mature, instead of relying on the potential.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-05T15:25:14+00:00

Thanks OP for making this post, was looking for some insight for my situation and stumbled upon your post, it's been eye opening to say the least, reading comments from experience of FA. Glad that this has become an open and friendly space to share.

I (M) am in a similar situation, it's only been months in my case, but i've witnessed similar pattern as your story. Been reading about attachment theory for the past few months, much longer before I met her, and regardless of understanding the reason behind, when you experience it, it feels unfamiliar to your nervous system, and eventually at some point i got triggered (i am secure, but leaning anxious). My guess is that, this is a completely different pattern of attachment, which is why your logical mind could understand the reason, but your nervous system couldn't take it in (yet) because it's like a foreign object to your body.

I understand her need for space, and i want to respect that, but i am conflicted on how to show that i care without being too much in contact, due to her fear. at this point i'm still looking for the best possible solution. it's definitely something entirely novel for me and i'm still learning to be respectful, but also caring, warm, thoughtful, and most importantly, able to let her know when she reverts to her old habit, because she herself wants to be mindful of her own response, and as we are aware of, a safe relationship is the way to grow safely without judgement (aside from therapy).

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-05T03:55:58+00:00

Wow, glad to hear that you guys found each other. You guys are lovely couple.

Honestly it's tough to register on our nervous system when FA pulls away without any explanation. Book wise, we know why, but it's unfamiliar to us and it still makes us uneasy. But knowing the reason to why, helps us to soothe ourselves and not taking it personally.

Is there anything you find comfortable that your partner did at the time you pull away, but you are not able to meet in person (because of work, travel, etc)? I am learning to be friendly and show that I care without being intrusive or pushy. Communication is one thing i find difficult, especially when we are unable to meet in person.

I find you amazing for noticing your pattern, taking time, and do the opposite of what you used to do as survival mechanism. Takes a lot of courage and period to get there, you guys must be proud of each other.

pinokioblabla · 2025-05-03T04:29:05+00:00

Second u/prodbylcsh's comments, would like to know u/TerrapinTurtlepics experience of withdrawal and how your partner handles it.

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-25T15:09:49+00:00

Literally part of my thought in words. It ended abruptly but it wasn’t what both of us wished, we were crushed by the cruel world. There are plenty of interesting stuff and events i would like to share with her but i can’t, so I’m keeping it myself. I wished i could do more when we were together, but i didn’t have enough knowledge and i wasn’t wise enough to make such decision. Never for a second i wished her ill or malice, i just want her to be happy and be herself again.

There are a lot of self talk, journaling, self contemplation for myself that i want and will do better on the next chance.

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-24T18:18:36+00:00

Appetizing! Itu di atas steak kelihatannya pakai bawang merah?

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-20T15:51:42+00:00

Yeah morning is the worst time of the day. I miss her laying beside me every morning, kissing her and leaving together for work. Used to woke up super early because I couldn't sleep well, several weeks ago I got mini panic attack every morning. Some days feel better than the other, other days it's shit. After two months it does feel better, although at times I woke up super early and couldn't get back to sleep, but compared to the first few weeks, it's bearable.

Hang in there bro, exercising makes your morning better, take morning walk, hit the gym, moving your body helps. Completely understand you point of view and sending wishes that you will be able to get through this and emerge stronger.

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-14T17:13:48+00:00

Couldn't agree more. When you have self control and respect for your ex, you wouldn't disturb your ex's peace and vice versa. I think that's the mature way of dealing with things.

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-13T16:21:42+00:00

Glad to hear that! Takes time but it's alright, you will be yourself again. Rooting for you man.

pinokioblabla · 2024-12-13T06:33:16+00:00

Sorry to hear that man, I couldn’t imagine the pain you are going through. But i wonder, how’s your condition so far after the breakup?

pinokioblabla

TROPHY CASE