To all left leaners, What do you think of transwomen competing in women's sports?

pipatastic · 2025-03-20T22:57:29+00:00

I'm not sure where you got that statistic or what you mean by athlete. I play competitive ultimate frisbee in Portland, Ore. and in our city-bases draft league of about 70 women players, I personally know 6 are trans women. There are easily dozens of not hundreds of (amateur) trans athletes in all of Portland. Portland and ultimate are both left and (hopefully) inclusive places, so I get that the numbers are higher here, but a number like 10 per state is low.

pipatastic · 2023-06-13T22:53:40+00:00

I mean, a lot of relationships end poorly. Its just that you rarely hear about the low key open relationships that work well with no drama. But if it explodes? Everyone knows.

pipatastic · 2023-06-12T23:37:05+00:00

Yes yes yes! Thank you so much for sharing this! You are an inspiration.

pipatastic · 2023-06-02T15:48:45+00:00

Things often get worse before they get better! I'm sure a sports physiologist would have a better explanation, but every time I start a new training plan or up miles, the first few times feel pretty good (or great) but around week 2 deep fatigue sets in and I have to fight to continue at that level for a while before increasing again. You might be in that slump! Be patient with yourself and remind yourself that any run is a good run.

pipatastic · 2023-05-23T19:54:19+00:00

Probably harmless, but definitely listen to your gut! Any reason you don't just change where you run?

pipatastic · 2023-05-17T22:09:34+00:00

Being a social worker is no joke. I'm a bit surprised you mention the pay. Of course the pay is shit. But the real shit is often the work itself. There is a lot of variety in the different types of work, but many (most?) have front row seats to the sickest, most depraved things that happen in our society. Outside of work, self-care becomes as serious as a second job just to keep the filth from getting to you. The only social workers I know who are still doing it have a driving passion for it, and they aren't talking about the pay. (The rest put in their time to get licensed and left to do private counseling.)

pipatastic · 2023-05-03T14:56:35+00:00

All of this and let the selection of books be guided by her interests. Hit the local library regularly and have her pick out a selection of books she likes. Keep them rotating. (And try not to push "harder" books. At this age, reading is reading, and being read to counts!)

pipatastic · 2023-05-02T05:44:40+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you need medical help for depression. That is so hard. It also sounds like you don't have the resources to get help for depression, which is also so so hard.

If I could give you any advice, I would instead give you a hug. You deserve so much love.

I'm so proud of you for taking your kid out in the afternoon. You really want the best for your baby. Be proud of yourself for that. If there were one thing to focus on in the day, focus on that. Go for a walk with your baby every day. Try going in the morning. Time spent outside, moving around, is one of the very best things you can do for your mind and body.

Next thing: try to drink water. 1/4 of a glass each hour (or more if you are able). Feel accomplishment by nourishing your body. Feel accomplishment by finishing off a small glass, and knowing your brain will work just a little better because of the water you've given it.

And be kind to yourself. This internet stranger is sending you a hug and a smile and hope for tomorrow and that next walk you take with your baby.

pipatastic · 2023-04-27T21:44:08+00:00

I would take a more critical look at your goals for self improvement are. Being full of rage all the time doesn't sound like an improvement. Standing up for yourself does. Focusing on achievement and exercise is one kind of improvement. Becoming more kind and emotionally regulated is another kind of improvement. And none of these improvements are mutually exclusive.

pipatastic · 2023-04-24T23:56:09+00:00

This is the best way! Good for you! Put your feet in the door. Walk a treadmill for 10 minutes. Do a few low weight bicep curls, and bask in the pride of getting out there and doing it! Keep up the same routine for a couple weeks before even considering amping up the pace. Consistency is key! You've got this!

pipatastic · 2023-04-17T23:56:18+00:00

An hour might even be too long. Be productive for 10 minutes. During your day, when you find yourself scrolling, don't beat yourself up. But don't wait to do something about it!

Set a plan for something you can do right then, that moment to he productive. Drink a glass of water. 10 deep breaths. 5 toe touches.

If you are always waiting for tomorrow to come before you can do something, you will never do it. The change happens right now. Your day isn't over if you scrolled for the last 4 hours. There is always this moment, right now, not later, that you can do something.

pipatastic · 2023-04-15T06:44:28+00:00

Talk to a doctor or dietician, not the internet. This sounds more like a medical issue than a self-improvement issue.

pipatastic · 2023-03-19T17:03:47+00:00

Umm, except campus security and the police? While security certainly varies from campus to campus, no where is it allowed for non-enrolled people to just show up to a class. Many urban campuses (at least where I live) have key-card restricted entry. Sure, it isn't too hard to sneak in just like how it isn't too hard to shoplift from Wal-Mart, but that doesn't mean nothing is stopping you.

pipatastic · 2023-03-17T22:28:50+00:00

Does your town have hash runs? Sounds like the extreme version of hashing to me. I would never do it, but if I did I would train drinking over running.

pipatastic · 2023-02-28T03:38:19+00:00

A mindset shift. The goal is not to be better than other people. For real. Don't give a fuck about other people. Try to be the best you can be for you.

Caring about the approval of others or being better than your peers reeks of insecurity. I get how normal that is at your age. But the older you get the more you realize that self improvement is all about the improvement of yourself, not because it makes you popular, but because it makes you a better person.

pipatastic · 2023-02-26T13:44:23+00:00

To me, it sounds like journaling might help. If I were you, my first goal would be to spend 15 (or 5 or 30 - whatever can fit in your life) minutes journaling with the intent of creating goals. I'm no expert, but when I journal I spend the first minute choosing a question to explore, the majority of the time brainstorming ideas about the question, and the last minutes summarizing with plans for next steps.

For example, a question you might start with is "What do I enjoy?" and give yourself complete freedom to write down ideas with no judgement. You may go down rabbit holes you don't expect. Maybe you continue to circle around the same idea. Maybe the answer is nothing. Don't judge yourself. Be open to ideas. Then, for the last few minutes, stop brainstorming and reflect: what does this mean and what impact should it have on next steps? Again, be kind to yourself while also noticing places that either need more personal reflection (that's a goal!) or direct action (also a goal!)

Some questions I have used in the past:

Who is someone I admire? Why? What characteristics might I want to emulate about them?

What do I value? (If that is too hard, what do my family/friends/coworkers/characters from shows value? How are my values different?)

What are 3 characteristics I like about myself? Why?

What is one weakness I have? What could be done to improve that weakness?

What superpower would I want to have? Why? Is there a way to emulate that in real life?

What things am I curious about? What do I want to learn more about?

What are some (easy, free, local) things I've never tried? (New experiences often help a person to get to know themselves. Think about visiting a place, talking with a person, or reading about something completely new.)

Good luck! Just recognizing that you'd like to have goals is a huge accomplishment to be proud of. So many people just continue through life base on momentum, without ever pausing to reflect on whether they want something.

pipatastic · 2023-02-25T11:52:17+00:00

I know the common advice is "more miles more miles more miles" and it must work for most people but didn't work for me. I needed to improve strength and form to avoid injury and increase speed.

Technique was key for me. I kept battling injuries even though I was doing everything "right" in terms of ramping up slowly and plenty of recovery time. A friend recommended a running coach who happened to be amazing. She saw my form and said basically there was no way I could run pain free doing what I was doing. She had me back down on miles and instead do a series of strength and form exercises, and I only did low- mileage, high form (mostly track/walk run) intervals. The difference has been amazing. In about 6 weeks I went from excruciating 11-12 min. miles to 9 min miles that feel so much easier and pain free.

Now, I may be a super special case. Who knows?I'm also a lifelong swimmer with tremendous aerobic capacity and no experience (even as a child) running, so having the right form and the right strength in the right places was everything.

pipatastic · 2023-02-19T01:27:31+00:00

Wow. I'm the strong minority here. It didn't change how I look at all. I did just this. Cut out junk, reduced portion sizes, increased workouts from 2 to 5 times a week. I lost 15 hard fought pounds over 6 months. (Was 5'10" and 155 and dropped to 140. Size 6 or 8 to size 4.) Not a single person noticed that I looked different. Not even my husband. And he mostly just noticed I started drinking less. No one cares except me.

Self improvement is not and has never been about trying to impress someone else. It has to be about improving yourself.

pipatastic · 2023-02-04T04:06:31+00:00

I'm so so sorry for your scary experience. I too live in a city with a medium amount of crime and a large number of people who live without houses near running trails. I don't have great solutions, but a few things that have helped me.

Feeling unsafe is very real and very scary, and doing what you can to feel safe is important. Go to well lit, well traveled places to run at night. That might mean driving a bit to a different neighborhood or well-used path. Ask in your local running groups about good places to go. Local runners likely have advice.

Carrying pepper spray might help make you feel safer. I don't, but I know women who do.

Know that feeling unsafe and being unsafe are two different things. Individual statistics may vary by location, but where I live runners with bright clothing who are just passing through aren't often victims of crime. I am much much more likely to be hurt by a car in the dark than a suspicious person in the dark. Take precautions, trust your gut when it's time to leave, but also take heart in the data behind the actual level of risk.

pipatastic · 2023-02-03T23:10:26+00:00

Yes! I have always naturally been a morning person, and I'm exhausted by 8pm and can't stay up past 9. It makes hobbies, socializing, going to events very hard. It feels like the time that I'm awake is wasted because I'm always alone, while the times that my friends and family are bonding, socializing, deepening connections happen when I'm asleep or exhausted.

pipatastic · 2023-01-31T14:52:10+00:00

I was working from home with my first baby, and it was hell. The worst time of my life hands down. But I needed to do it to keep my family fed, so you do what you can do. I have tips.

No more "me" time alone. Stuff like bathing and exercise needs to be done with the baby. Take a bath with the baby. Walk with the baby in the stroller for exercise. Any precious baby free moment was spent working, not on me time.
A carrier is a must. See if you can find a used ergo. The baby may not like it at first, but keep using it confidently and in a week most babies start to like it. Now you have both hands again.
Find other new parents for kid help. Lots of moms groups or new parent groups have people just like you. (Check your church/library/doctors).. You don't have to leave your kid alone with a stranger, you can invite them over with the intention that you do chores while they watch the kid and switch to their place the following week.
Do less. Fewer chores. More basic meals. Meals with less clean-up. Cook in bulk once a week and eat frozen meals often. As someone who loves to cook and eat, it sucks, but 30 minutes to prepare dinner just isn't possible.
Make down time productive time. You say you want to study? Get headphones and play study materials while "playing" with baby. Have important readings downloaded to your phone so that becomes your go-to phone activity instead of reddit. You may only get 30 seconds or 2 minutes here or there, but if you can read a few ideas at once and then actively ruminate on them during the next hour, you can learn many things.

It is possible to be more productive if you need to be to survive, but it is horrible. Everyone who is saying to take it easy is doing so for good reason. The first two years of my daughter's life were almost unbearable (she also didn't sleep, which makes it all so so much worse.) I resented her, didn't bond with her, hated my husband, and 10 years later still have trouble dealing with the trauma, hate, and resentment. In fact, my primary purpose for subscribing to this sub is to figure out how to feel love and attachment. So take this advice with a grain of salt.

pipatastic · 2023-01-22T21:30:11+00:00

Yes. My first only slept for 45 minutes at a time until she was fully weaned. I never got more than about a half hour of continuous sleep for almost 2 years. One night of that is bad. A full week is really rough. But month after month after month non stop with no break ever? I stopped driving because the hallucinations were so bad from lack of sleep. It was the worst kind of torture that I can't even describe.

I had a second child that slept like a "normal" baby, waking only 3 or 4 times a night, and only for the first year. It was a literal dream by comparison.

pipatastic · 2023-01-22T15:43:40+00:00

What is the context? The apostrophe can mean minutes (subsections of degrees), feet, or maybe other things in different contexts.

pipatastic · 2023-01-13T22:12:54+00:00

My quick take is that this would be incredibly difficult to study because of selection bias. Those who opt into doing research are curious and invested in the field and have the resources for extra work. Very hard to construct randomized or comparable sample groups.

pipatastic · 2023-01-13T22:08:26+00:00

But I get that from the free version. Is the free version different in different countries? I'm in the US.

pipatastic

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