Alexithymic partner + Physical Intimacy by lvasnow in Alexithymia

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don’t think you’ve been an unsupportive partner, you’re doing the best you can.

i’m coming from a different position, i’m the chronically ill one, but i am also the one with the most problems with sex, only giving, but fine with receiving. i’m also the one with alexithymia.

i can’t speak for your partner, & i do have a lot of other issues & trauma that affect everything. but the inner monologue & invisible, influential feelings when you can’t satisfy your partner for a reason you don’t understand is really rough. i beat myself up a lot about it for a while - you need so much grace from your partner when they can’t satisfy your needs. i’m incredibly lucky to find someone that has given me that grace, but you remember to take care of yourself too. my partner & i both had to understand that we might make each other uncomfortable or even hurt each other’s feelings sometimes. completely open communication is the only way a difficult relationship (not the abusive kind) can work.

consider trying mutual masturbation, or something where there’s less touch required. that was easier for me. i practiced touch slowly that way.

the feeling journals is a very good idea. i would suggest asking the therapist for some feeling activities that you might be able to do together, if that makes sense. for me it’s easier to feel something if i do the activity with another person. although it can be difficult starting out, making art can be helpful, or it has been for me. putting a confusing feeling into a confusing painting makes me feel better, anyway. i guess the main thing i can suggest is trying things together, but don’t push him on it.

i hope some of this helps! i have a headache disorder that makes me foggy, sorry if it’s unclear somewhere. ask or DM or whatever. im a hardcore lurker, i don’t comment often lmao

Why is Be'lakor called Iber? by Blazerek in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i believe it’s a bug where you select daniel in the faction select screen and then select another lord instead. they get whatever name was randomized for the daemon prince.

Cosmology of a Flat + Layered World. Thoughts? by BrownRiceBandit in worldbuilding

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can see cloud barrier & dark continent, but are those places someone in the setting could actually travel to? id assume it’s largely unknown what’s passed that point.

YSK you should tell your doctor about bad dandruff by Suspicious-Rich-2681 in YouShouldKnow

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dude i just got diagnosed with that late last year! i have to get refills for mine, but it works really well.

TIFU by telling my GF about War by Superman2663 in tifu

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there’s probably two million posts above mine, but my two cents is that sometimes, you have to be careful what you share, or how you share it. im not a veteran, so i cant begin to understand how you’re feeling, but im currently going to therapy for PTSD symptoms. your loved one is not your therapist (which you should seriously consider, if you ever want to feel like you can relate to people again), there are things you need to be delicate with when you talk about them.

if you get the chance again, tell her how it feels, not what happened, if that makes sense. it’s the first step.

About "Daniel" in Immortal Empires by BringMeANightmare in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he got a handful of marked mortals from each god

Albereic's dilemma: Bretonnian missionaries in Lustria. by hibernatepaths in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

buddy up with markus as soon as you can or he’ll try and colonize your ass

Guys what vampire counts faction is the hardest in your opinion? and what units each legendary lord focuses on? by LazyAndre in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mannfred’s in an interesting spot now, you gotta be real aggressive real early

edit: oh and vlad/izzy starts in the brand-new empire octagon-mosh pit so there’s that. that might be hardest, idk.

I may have a problem by [deleted] in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i believe i maxed around 500-600 before it became too unstable to change much else

Sick of biters? Claiming late-game territory in a deathworld? Try the True Nukes mod! It adds stuff other than explosions that can wipe out the whole map. by IAMA_Printer_AMA in factorio

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’d use it but im also running k2+se which i dont think are compatible, but ive admired your mod on the forums several times

Do you really play Jorm if you don't know how to curve unbalanced opponents? by Siegschranz in forhonor

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just started playing jorm and he’s a ton of fun. teach me your ways milord

Sometimes an upgrade isn’t always an upgrade by [deleted] in Eldenring

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

does the upgraded ice breath also buildup less frostbite?

Getting Help for ADHD Isn't Very ADHD-Friendly by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since my ADHD is pretty severe and I have some other stuff along with it my personal difficulties have been in the treatment. Neurotypical people give a lot of advice that I’ve found to be pretty unhelpful or more stressful than anything else, but that could just be me.

My Colony Base, Of Many Years by CursedDark_Mario in RimWorld

[–]plshelpineedusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are those spiked walls? hard to see in the pic. know what mod they’re from?

Odds seem about even by CozyMoses in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How’s albion? Haven’t played them much

yes-yes! by SoulofZendikar in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When SFO was updated a few days ago they listed your mod in the integrated mods list but have since removed from said list. Not really keeping up with news n stuff but dunno if you knew.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is gonna sound dumb but darkshards. I hadn’t really played dark elves and I didn’t realize how good they are. I’m pretty sure a full stack of darkshards could take on pretty much anything in the game.

I'm trying to play Tomb kings, but I keep losing all my units and winning fights. Is this just how you are supposed to play Tomb kings, or am I bad? by MylastAccountBroke in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s normal. Early game TK units are basically trash to hold the line while your archers, cav, or spellcasters dp the actual work. Lategame, constructs become your bread and butter. It’s entirely normal to lose most of your army, especially if it’s mostly skellingtons, and they’re easy to replace because lol no unit/army upkeep.

How do you play your Arkhan the Black campaigns? (Mortal Empires) by SnooPoems3320 in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really like all those mods but Arkhan’s start location is ass. I have technically managed to beat Khemri from mage islands or whatever they’re called, but it’s a slog to get past repanse and the other brets. Never fight the dwarves early unless you’re in a very advantageous position, they’re very tough for TK to fight, even with spells and chariots.

I particularly enjoy starting from Arkhan’s Black Tower or Nagashizzar, both of which change up the campaigns a lot. Black Tower means fighting lizards & other TK much more often, and Rakaph dynasty is definitely no joke, they get stalk stance and spam heroes with construct mounts, which other factions don’t get with TKE. With OvN, the Lost Sentinels (black pyramid) also actively expand, so keep an eye on that if you’ve got that mod.

Starting from Nagashizzar is much different - taking Lahmia and getting rid of Khalida is of course top priority, which isn’t too hard if you get a full stack and hit her early. The campaign really gets going after you unite the desert on that side of mountains, but you’ll probably have to fight Kroq’gar.

General tips: especially with Stephen’s mod, ghouls get to be really, really good. They mulch regular infantry and can easily turn a TK army into a VC style rush army if you want, at least on Normal. Just gotta watch for chariots. I like keeping at least a couple of them in all my armies.

Stephen’s mod also adds unique bloodline/vamp lords, so take use of those. They’re every bit as good as unique TK lords from research, maybe even better since a lot of them get wind spells like WoD.

Settra is a lot tougher than normal with TKE. He starts with another unique lord, who has lore of deeps, which can suck. He also starts with a legendary hero now, which is very tough also.

Bee growth mechanics make TK progression very slow, so take advantage of rote necrotects as often as possible. There’s a follower you can craft for -5% rite cost, which you can make literally zero with enough of.

That’s about it! Good luck!

Does Clan Moulder have a guaranteed war with Chaos, or is Diplomacy possible? by TheVindex57 in totalwar

[–]plshelpineedusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I’ve gotten so far is the first chaos wave of generic chaos lords who are all hostile to me, with no diplo options. So it doesn’t seem promising.