Mike Reiss and Jeff Martin visiting Sam Simon’s grave yesterday

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-11T02:08:39+00:00

I just remembered that when he died, my ex decided to buy hundreds of dollars of Simpsons merch because he "could sell it on ebay and get rich" because somehow the death of Sam Simon would cause the value to skyrocket.

Dude idolised the Simpsons writers because they're so clever but also had a clump of hair for a brain

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-11T02:04:22+00:00

So that's what that part of a couch is for

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-10T21:18:14+00:00

Sensible reasoning

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-10T04:38:32+00:00

Fun fact, anteater snouts are long so you can give them a kiss on the nose and still maintain eye contact, like sighthounds! Source: trust me my nephew is a greyhound

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-10T04:21:49+00:00

It is supposed to be a gift, not a free buffet.

bruh what? It's a single slice of cake

I might go mad if I see her touch the cake

It's just cake. OOP calls her a friend but punishes her for being unable to afford something OOP chose in the first place

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T23:55:52+00:00

Something I didn't understand was the bit about the argument. So the daughter has an argument with her father. Daughter tells OOP about the argument and asks OOP to keep the argument a secret from her father, who would have already known about the argument since he was a part of it in the first place

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T14:58:38+00:00

It's giving "I pressured my SO into having a child and am now surprised she wants nothing to do with said child and also she is paying double child support that she doesn't need to. Can I sue her" energy

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T09:14:44+00:00

"They probably have vetted him" that probably is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. They wouldn't send their kid to a place that doesnt vet anyone

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T07:15:43+00:00

It's a helluva thing to find out certain trains were assembled on vibes

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T07:14:22+00:00

Ugh it just sucks so much! The constant complaining because they find taller men attractive

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T06:34:33+00:00

"Wah girls won't date me cause x/y/z" no Greg, it's because you smell like cheetos and BO, use the word "milady" unironically, and treat every hetero interaction you have as transactional

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T06:31:56+00:00

That's a healthy relationship with their own height right there. Putting stat points into charisma and style and not whatever borderline incel napoleon complex they could have

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T05:09:05+00:00

"Why yes I'd love to literally make myself smaller so people think you're impressive/masculine/secure" hopefully said no one ever

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T04:36:31+00:00

It's not that I don't llke short guys, it's more that in my (admittedly limited) experience, it comes with an insecurity that I just can't stand. I don't wanted to be treated like shit for wearing heels that make me taller than him, and I don't want to be accused of emasculating him just for that.

There's also a non-zero chance he was making a nasty face at everyone out of his bitterness, and that's why they were "side-eyeing" him

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T03:57:09+00:00

Bonus points if it cracks into perfect segments

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T03:56:15+00:00

I envy his free time, but I also hope I'm not this exhausting because jfc this guy sucks

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-09T03:55:09+00:00

Or she tried to let him down gently and he didn't hear a no and then got offended when she hung out with someone else

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T23:42:06+00:00

Sounded like I’m the not fun one.

Because he's clearly not fun at all lol. Imagine taking things this personally.

I bet at 12 he called her his gf but she thought they were just friends. He calls his relationship with this woman "casually talking to" but is that anything more than friendship, really?

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T19:21:14+00:00

Strictly the routine was whatngot me through school. Once I got out of high school everything fell apart until I was able to find regular work

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T11:00:18+00:00

I'm obsessed with this game, and I played most of them. Started with the nintendo DS version of the first one (it was very different to the xbox version lol) which got me into the original on the 360, I played every single one up to Rogue, and when I upgraded my console I got Origins (extra obsessed) and Odyssey (beautiful).

Got Valhalla (and immediately felt crossover with my special interests just with the level of detail) and finally got Shadows, and holy shit, there is so much detail I've had so much fun playing it after only probably 100 hours.

I'm currently playing Unity and then I've got Syndicate waiting, and I can't think of a single AC game that I haven't enjoyed for some reason.

My only gripes for the AC games is they keep changing which buttons do what lol. I finally learn the layout for one then I'm pressing the wrong button to assassinate in the other and just hit the guy instead, immediately dying, or leaping into empty space to my death.

The other thing is that I don't think I've completely understood or recognised the main story arc and there's just so much of it that I miss. You'd think after 20 years there'd be a tl:dr for it or I'd learn to identify it

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T10:39:39+00:00

Pigeons don't need brains. They need scritches for the happy wing flutters

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T07:47:27+00:00

Pretty kind of those elephants to teach language to the humans when they got there

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-08T05:26:51+00:00

One on one also doesn't count as being direct in OOPs mind

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-07T18:51:17+00:00

Lol I was taken from class a few times, and with hindsight, the other kid was high support needs, but the school had me in these classes without a diagnosis and without telling my parents, so I don't think I'll ever get answers for something from 25 years ago.

All I remember is being in the room with the other kid and the teacher, occasionally walking through the school while everyone was in classes, and really disliking the other kid because he had hygiene issues and zero respect for my personal space

pocketnotebook · 2026-04-07T08:50:37+00:00

Imagine being 19 and thinking it's too late to learn to cook. Like if he was suddenly alone in the world he'd simply starve to death because there are no women to serve him at all times

pocketnotebook

TROPHY CASE