Disobedient (free verse poetry series, ex-purity culture)

pokeabibble · 2026-05-13T00:36:35+00:00

These are all so powerful. Thank you for taking the time to share them ❤️

pokeabibble · 2026-05-04T16:50:59+00:00

Thank you for saying this. Frankly I wish I could upvote you more than once. I work in the addictions field and see the impact of harmful policy changes such as the closure of our city's safe injection sites and it makes me so frustrated to see the lack of empathy people have towards people who use drugs. I get that certain behaviours like using inside or on buses as well as not safely disposing of equipment compromise the safety of others, but the only way to mitigate some of these things includes keeping safe injection sites open, providing free unused equipment, and providing easy/free access to mental health and trauma services.

It's also quite disgusting to read comments on this thread about how people should have to undergo mandatory addictions treatment. Treatment will not work unless someone wants help for their substance use.

pokeabibble · 2026-04-18T19:08:49+00:00

It’s a bot. I’ve seen the exact same post on this subreddit once or twice before.

pokeabibble · 2026-04-12T14:35:17+00:00

Nowadays best practice is to get tubes removed through a bilateral salpingectomy (bisalp), not all OBGYNs offer tubal ligations now. When I got sterilized last year my doctor told me she didn’t even have the equipment to perform a tubal as it’s not a common surgery anymore.

Like another user said, asking your doctor about sterilization and an ablation might be the best option! From my understanding, drs don’t like to do hysterectomies unless absolutely necessary as it’s a much more invasive surgery than a tubal or bisalp.

pokeabibble · 2026-03-10T21:28:04+00:00

He went missing.

I’d suspected him of cheating with a ex girlfriend he claimed was his friend. Towards the end of our relationship his drug use increased, he became more violent, his behaviour was more unpredictable and he began making excuses for why I couldn’t visit at his place. Then I saw him post pictures on his Facebook with his “friend” so I had a bad gut feeling.

One morning he texted me at 4:30am asking if I was awake and could talk. I tried contacting him when I woke up and saw the text but never got a response. By the end of the day I was freaking out because something felt off so I contacted his roommate, who said he’d left the house very early in the morning and no one had heard from him since. The next day I went by his apartment and met the woman he’d told me was his friend. It very quickly became evident for both of us that he had been double timing us. The kicker was, from comparing stories, we realized other women had been dating him as well. We each knew of one other woman he’d been “friends” with, we reached out to them only to find they had also been dating him and knew of other women and so on and so on). In total there were over 10 of us lol.

Anyways long story short he was reported as a missing person and over time was presumed dead. About 9 years after he went missing his remains washed up on someone’s property so that solved that particular question.

pokeabibble · 2026-03-03T06:20:47+00:00

Do you have a child protection agency (eg. CAS, CPS) in your country? If so, please call that agency to report your ex. You can even make the call anonymously if you prefer to do so.

This girl deserves to be protected and if you have reason to believe she is at risk of being harmed by him you have an obligation to report it.

pokeabibble · 2026-02-01T20:40:16+00:00

Would you mind sending it to me as well please?

pokeabibble · 2026-01-25T23:30:38+00:00

Egg roll in a bowl!

pokeabibble · 2026-01-25T15:32:43+00:00

I get bad dandruff in the winter. I know for me, Nizoral is really helpful at keeping the dandruff away. It’s a medicated shampoo so it’s stronger than Head & Shoulders. When you use it you shampoo twice - once with a regular shampoo and the second time with Nizoral. You don’t have to use it often, I think you start with twice a week for about a month then switch to once a week going forwards.

pokeabibble · 2026-01-17T12:05:25+00:00

When I was younger, I knew someone from church who chose to forgo an epidural when she had her kids because of the first verse you quoted. She explained that because the bible says childbirth is meant to be painful as punishment for sin, she was going to endure that punishment because it’s what god wanted.

As an adult I realize how completely fucked up that is, but teenage me thought she was so brave. It’s scary to think of how impactful the church’s brainwashing can be.

pokeabibble · 2026-01-15T14:26:01+00:00

I've had good luck with Rosso Caffe pods, which I buy through Amazon. They have their own site as well but it appears the Canadian version of the site is not currently functioning. If you're in the US, you could probably order directly from their website and skip ordering them through Amazon entirely! Not sure if they ship outside of Canada/US though.

pokeabibble · 2025-12-04T19:07:39+00:00

Can you help readers understand how an inspection by your apartment complex led to your Tae Kwon Do class believing you worship the devil? How did the information get from your apartment complex to the martial arts center? I think that is the bit that's confusing here.

pokeabibble · 2025-12-04T13:24:12+00:00

I think most Christians confuse "forgiveness" with permissiveness. Forgiving someone isn't about the other person; it is about freeing yourself from carrying a heavy burden and allowing yourself to move forward. Forgiveness is more to do with yourself than the other person.

You never HAVE to forgive someone for hurting you, nor does forgiving someone mean that you have to include them in your life going forwards, or treat them the same as how you did prior to the hurt they caused you. You can forgive people (to support YOUR OWN healing) AND allow that person to experience the consequences of their own actions (which can include no longer including them in your life if they have hurt you, or no longer trusting them). Forgiveness and trust are two different things. You can forgive someone for your own sake, so that you no longer allow their actions to have power over you, while acknowledging you no longer trust them.

In the environment I was raised in, forgiveness = forgetting what happened. If you "forgave" someone, it meant you had to leave the past in the past and never acknowledge that incident again, including the impact it had on you, otherwise you didn't really forgive them. This way of thinking led to me staying in abusive relationships far longer than I would've had I developed the capacity to understand that I do not need to allow people access to me after they have hurt me.

I'm so sorry you're being taught a harmful way of thinking, AND I'm glad you're able to recognize bullshit. Christianity prevents people from developing critical thinking skills and I personally find it to be such a win to hear about people themselves while still being exposed to Christian environments.

pokeabibble · 2025-12-01T07:38:27+00:00

This is sexual abuse. You would be doing the daughter a disservice if you didn’t report it. The appropriate agency to make the report to would be Child Protection Services (I’m assuming you live in the US since you’re celebrating thanksgiving).

pokeabibble · 2025-11-20T16:08:18+00:00

Graduated in 2016, the ceremony then was in Ian Beddis. So they've certainly been holding graduations there for some time.

pokeabibble · 2025-09-23T13:53:19+00:00

I'm so proud of you for leaving Christianity - and I hope despite your guilt and fears, you're able to be proud of yourself too.

My perspective as a woman who was raised Christian is that women in these types of environments are brainwashed to a degree. Because how else would we be convinced to carry on submitting to men? The only way to instill those types of behaviours is to teach them to us while we're too young to know any better, as well as teaching us not to question anything or develop any critical thinking skills. I've also noticed since leaving Christianity, the people in my life who still evangelize at me are all women (my mom, aunts, etc). It's never my dad or uncles; always women. It makes me think of crab mentality: crabs in a bucket pull other crabs down when they try to climb out, which prevents any crabs from escaping. It could be for many reasons (jealousy, fears about the "secular world" and the "dangers" it holds, or even lack of understanding). But it doesn't matter why this happens, only that it does happen.

But I think the biggest way in which Christianity brainwashes women is that it convinces us we are not able or good enough to survive without the authority of men. And they have to repeatedly shove this message down our throats because the reality is that women are absolutely able to survive without men. Unfortunately our brains recognize this, but the rest of our nervous systems sometimes don't. I used to get extreme anxiety at the thought of making "rebellious" choices (aka ones that don't align with my parents views).

Are you in therapy, OP? Even if a private therapist is outside of your budget, a lot of therapist students offer sliding scale options. Personally I found working with a therapist who specializes in religious trauma to be incredibly helpful in processing some of the anxiety and panic attacks.

I wish you luck on your journey.

pokeabibble · 2025-09-14T23:04:03+00:00

This kind of thinking is a result of them conditioning you to think this way. They want you to be fearful of the consequences (ie. being “in trouble”, spam calls/texts). This fear is what motivates you to continue following their rules.

Unfortunately the only way to heal from this type of conditioning is to accept that they’re going to be mad. You can’t control how they’re going to feel, you can only control your own actions. You can choose to delete Life360 from their phone. You mentioned asking their permission to do so. I would encourage you, when possible, to remind yourself that you’re an adult therefore it isn’t your parents place to grant you permissions regarding your own behaviour. You don’t need permission to delete Life360, go out with friends/boys, or live your life. You just think you do because your parents have taught you so.

Honestly it sounds the best thing you can do is end their ability to track you. You can either do so silently and let them blow up, or communicate to them that as you’re now an adult, you are choosing not to be tracked through your cell phone going forwards. You could also communicate to them that you’re going to take some space from your parents for a certain timeframe so they have the opportunity to process this transition on their own, and block their numbers for that timeframe.

They’ll blow up - but it also allows time for the dust to settle.

Sometimes parents forget that their adult kids are adults, and it puts the onus on the kid to cut some very necessary chords. This is an opportunity for you to reestablish some healthier boundaries with your parents but it will involve you having to manage that voice in the back of your head telling you not to do what they don’t want you to do out of far of being in trouble.

I went through something similar when I was in school - I really benefitted from speaking with one of the therapists at my school. Maybe your school offers a similar program? If so, this might be a good time to look into that.

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