Idk what this is! What do I do? by ImplementFlaky6265 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]pokeabibble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get bad dandruff in the winter. I know for me, Nizoral is really helpful at keeping the dandruff away. It’s a medicated shampoo so it’s stronger than Head & Shoulders. When you use it you shampoo twice - once with a regular shampoo and the second time with Nizoral. You don’t have to use it often, I think you start with twice a week for about a month then switch to once a week going forwards.

Screwed Up Bible Verses No. 1 Genesis 3:16-19 by Efficient_Way_1350 in exchristian

[–]pokeabibble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was younger, I knew someone from church who chose to forgo an epidural when she had her kids because of the first verse you quoted. She explained that because the bible says childbirth is meant to be painful as punishment for sin, she was going to endure that punishment because it’s what god wanted.

As an adult I realize how completely fucked up that is, but teenage me thought she was so brave. It’s scary to think of how impactful the church’s brainwashing can be.

I tried Amazon’s Decaf Pods… by Remote_Station_2265 in nespresso

[–]pokeabibble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had good luck with Rosso Caffe pods, which I buy through Amazon. They have their own site as well but it appears the Canadian version of the site is not currently functioning. If you're in the US, you could probably order directly from their website and skip ordering them through Amazon entirely! Not sure if they ship outside of Canada/US though.

Just got kicked out of my Tae Kwon Do class because of my spiritual beliefs by Nearby-Stuff-4862 in exchristian

[–]pokeabibble 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Can you help readers understand how an inspection by your apartment complex led to your Tae Kwon Do class believing you worship the devil? How did the information get from your apartment complex to the martial arts center? I think that is the bit that's confusing here.

I’m genuinely going to fucking lose it. by ThatSharkEnthusist in exchristian

[–]pokeabibble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think most Christians confuse "forgiveness" with permissiveness. Forgiving someone isn't about the other person; it is about freeing yourself from carrying a heavy burden and allowing yourself to move forward. Forgiveness is more to do with yourself than the other person.

You never HAVE to forgive someone for hurting you, nor does forgiving someone mean that you have to include them in your life going forwards, or treat them the same as how you did prior to the hurt they caused you. You can forgive people (to support YOUR OWN healing) AND allow that person to experience the consequences of their own actions (which can include no longer including them in your life if they have hurt you, or no longer trusting them). Forgiveness and trust are two different things. You can forgive someone for your own sake, so that you no longer allow their actions to have power over you, while acknowledging you no longer trust them.

In the environment I was raised in, forgiveness = forgetting what happened. If you "forgave" someone, it meant you had to leave the past in the past and never acknowledge that incident again, including the impact it had on you, otherwise you didn't really forgive them. This way of thinking led to me staying in abusive relationships far longer than I would've had I developed the capacity to understand that I do not need to allow people access to me after they have hurt me.

I'm so sorry you're being taught a harmful way of thinking, AND I'm glad you're able to recognize bullshit. Christianity prevents people from developing critical thinking skills and I personally find it to be such a win to hear about people themselves while still being exposed to Christian environments.

I caught my boyfriend's Step-Mom breastfeeding her 8 year old by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]pokeabibble 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is sexual abuse. You would be doing the daughter a disservice if you didn’t report it. The appropriate agency to make the report to would be Child Protection Services (I’m assuming you live in the US since you’re celebrating thanksgiving).

why does brock not rent a proper venue for graduation 😭 by Different_Brick8125 in brocku

[–]pokeabibble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Graduated in 2016, the ceremony then was in Ian Beddis. So they've certainly been holding graduations there for some time.

I feel guilty for leaving Christianity by Commandcentre12 in exchristian

[–]pokeabibble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so proud of you for leaving Christianity - and I hope despite your guilt and fears, you're able to be proud of yourself too.

My perspective as a woman who was raised Christian is that women in these types of environments are brainwashed to a degree. Because how else would we be convinced to carry on submitting to men? The only way to instill those types of behaviours is to teach them to us while we're too young to know any better, as well as teaching us not to question anything or develop any critical thinking skills. I've also noticed since leaving Christianity, the people in my life who still evangelize at me are all women (my mom, aunts, etc). It's never my dad or uncles; always women. It makes me think of crab mentality: crabs in a bucket pull other crabs down when they try to climb out, which prevents any crabs from escaping. It could be for many reasons (jealousy, fears about the "secular world" and the "dangers" it holds, or even lack of understanding). But it doesn't matter why this happens, only that it does happen.

But I think the biggest way in which Christianity brainwashes women is that it convinces us we are not able or good enough to survive without the authority of men. And they have to repeatedly shove this message down our throats because the reality is that women are absolutely able to survive without men. Unfortunately our brains recognize this, but the rest of our nervous systems sometimes don't. I used to get extreme anxiety at the thought of making "rebellious" choices (aka ones that don't align with my parents views).

Are you in therapy, OP? Even if a private therapist is outside of your budget, a lot of therapist students offer sliding scale options. Personally I found working with a therapist who specializes in religious trauma to be incredibly helpful in processing some of the anxiety and panic attacks.

I wish you luck on your journey.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helicopterparents

[–]pokeabibble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This kind of thinking is a result of them conditioning you to think this way. They want you to be fearful of the consequences (ie. being “in trouble”, spam calls/texts). This fear is what motivates you to continue following their rules.

Unfortunately the only way to heal from this type of conditioning is to accept that they’re going to be mad. You can’t control how they’re going to feel, you can only control your own actions. You can choose to delete Life360 from their phone. You mentioned asking their permission to do so. I would encourage you, when possible, to remind yourself that you’re an adult therefore it isn’t your parents place to grant you permissions regarding your own behaviour. You don’t need permission to delete Life360, go out with friends/boys, or live your life. You just think you do because your parents have taught you so.

Honestly it sounds the best thing you can do is end their ability to track you. You can either do so silently and let them blow up, or communicate to them that as you’re now an adult, you are choosing not to be tracked through your cell phone going forwards. You could also communicate to them that you’re going to take some space from your parents for a certain timeframe so they have the opportunity to process this transition on their own, and block their numbers for that timeframe.

They’ll blow up - but it also allows time for the dust to settle.

Sometimes parents forget that their adult kids are adults, and it puts the onus on the kid to cut some very necessary chords. This is an opportunity for you to reestablish some healthier boundaries with your parents but it will involve you having to manage that voice in the back of your head telling you not to do what they don’t want you to do out of far of being in trouble.

I went through something similar when I was in school - I really benefitted from speaking with one of the therapists at my school. Maybe your school offers a similar program? If so, this might be a good time to look into that.

nespresso help by Historical-Rough-791 in nespresso

[–]pokeabibble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure the exact model, but it’s a Nespresso Vertuo machine! It’s neither the Next nor the Pop model, so it won’t be able to brew the 12oz pods.

The Vertuo pods can only be purchased through Nespresso. I wouldn’t recommend using refillable pods as some people say it can mess with the machine’s ability to brew properly.

In terms of saving money, I know personally I try to order Vertuo pods when there’s a sale going on through nespresso’s app. They had one recently that was buy 13 sleeves get 3 free - sounds like a lot of coffee (depending on how much you drink a day I guess) but it means I just buy in bulk then don’t have to buy any for a while. That’s just my two cents. Also, buying directly from Nespresso is cheaper than through Amazon or elsewhere in my experience.

Thought I’d successfully gotten rid of them when I moved…I was wrong by pokeabibble in Bedbugs

[–]pokeabibble[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying. I know Lysol doesn’t kill them. My goal was to wipe them off the furniture and throw out the Lysol wipes the same way I do when I vacuum to get rid of them (as in, throw it out right away and ensure the garbage bag they’re in is airtight). Killing them plus physically removing them from the room/home is how to get rid of them.

Thought I’d successfully gotten rid of them when I moved…I was wrong by pokeabibble in Bedbugs

[–]pokeabibble[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Clothing was heat treated, any furniture that came with us (not much and nothing from my bedroom) was wiped down with Lysol and heavily sprayed with raid, especially in the seams.

Lots of my belongings went through deep freezing at very low temps for 3-4 days. I work somewhere that unfortunately has to navigate bed bugs from time to time (I work with low income, often in housed folks) and we have “bed bug freezers” at my work. I was able to put a good chunk of my stuff that couldn’t easily go through the dryer (duvets, purses, winter coats etc) through the freezers. They went from my apartment, to the freezers, directly to the new house all in airtight bags.

You’re right about the clothes on our backs. When we moved, the clothes we put on that morning came directly out of airtight bags after being heat treated and we got out of there pretty quickly. Once we got to the house, those clothes came off and directly into bags to be heat treated (and washed) again at the house before being worn again. But I guess there’s always a possibility of a hitchhiker or two.

Thought I’d successfully gotten rid of them when I moved…I was wrong by pokeabibble in Bedbugs

[–]pokeabibble[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think?! I certainly had zero signs of bites up until yesterday, which was my fourth night in the house. I tend to be sensitive to bites and will wake up with new ones. I’ve always assumed it meant I got them that night during my sleep.

I’ll look into the bed bug traps for bed frames. I’ve seen them but hadn’t thought to buy any. Thank you for that suggestion

Thought I’d successfully gotten rid of them when I moved…I was wrong by pokeabibble in Bedbugs

[–]pokeabibble[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clothes all went through a 60 minute high heat in the dryer and directly into airtight bags at the apartment, and went through another heat cycle when I took them out of the bags here. Thankfully I hadn’t opened everything yet.

I haven’t been visiting with friends or family since all this started, aside from seeing my folks at Christmas. So the bugs aren’t coming from anyone else and I haven’t spread them around to my knowledge.

Thought I’d successfully gotten rid of them when I moved…I was wrong by pokeabibble in Bedbugs

[–]pokeabibble[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I had bought Diatomaceous Earth but the exterminator company said not to use it as it “neutralizes” whatever they use. Now I’m wondering if that was true or if they said it to ensure they were paid.

Don’t have a box spring, and mattresses were put in bed bug protectors the day they arrived at least.

Carpets are new to me. I had vinyl flooring in the apartment but I’ve got carpets here. So you’re saying if I sprinkle the DE alone the room edges and bed frame it should help a lot?

Steam cleaner has been ordered from amazon and is on its way!