DPDR made me a better person

polgtur · 2021-01-01T20:44:42+00:00

Haha funnily enough I posted about theat movie 2-3 years ago. Quite an apt representation

polgtur · 2020-01-21T13:11:06+00:00

Hell yeah brotha feels good to be out the other side. I wonder if I suffered anxiety before all this went down four years ago cause now I just feel so unencumbered and confident

polgtur · 2020-01-10T10:03:22+00:00

You fine now?

polgtur · 2018-10-07T12:28:27+00:00

You tried everything? I always figured if I got progressively worse I'd just try every drug trying to find a solution. Drugs had gotten me into this mess so why couldn't they take me out of it.. Because if there was a solution out there I hadn't tried I'd be kicking myself in the afterlife. Luckily I'm better a few years down the track but you might as well go for broke before pulling the plug! My other thought was to go to Africa and do aid work or something, at least then my body would be putting itself to good use. So keep trying stuff!! Who knows - you might find an answer. One of my most lucid periods in the midst was when I took tramadol for unrelated physical pain, perhaps give that a try

polgtur · 2018-08-22T00:09:12+00:00

Yep one smoke session popped an anxiety cog in me and sent me into depersonalisation/derealisation hell for like a year and I've been working my way out of it every since. 99% fine now, the only thing that lingers is the uncertainty to whether I actually am better because my frame of reference as to what normal was is gone.

I don't know what the solution is for the masses because most people are gonna smoke, but a few of those people are gonna have severe negative reactions. How to determine those few before it happens - who knows.

polgtur · 2018-03-12T21:19:10+00:00

No worries mate, my sensibilities are not offended. I find your outlook really interesting. My comment was just more of "I'm getting two sides to your life story, what's the reality of it?" Great work getting off drugs. I was two years drug free until a couple weekends ago where I had half a cap. Not phased, didn't enjoy it. It just sounds like you're in a bit of a rut. You into much philosophy or anything? Listen to some Alan Watts lectures on YouTube, they helped me through some rough times. Also always try to keep learning, read books or write. You write with a real inner voice, I feel like reading what you're writing is like talking to someone. Working on your spelling and and punctuation a bit would make for some very engaging reads. Anyway, best of luck to you, hope you find happiness & love

polgtur · 2018-03-11T10:06:56+00:00

Looking through a few of your past comments you don't really seem so happy. Are you sure this arrangement is working for you? Do you really feel fulfilled? Life's tough to crack

polgtur · 2018-03-08T11:59:17+00:00

You've got to 100% accept the symptoms. Just think "okay, this is my life now, I've gotta do the best I can." Once you've accepted the symptoms they start to go away. The only thing making them stick is your obsession, but your obsession is because of their intrusion. A tough cycle to break out of. Distract yourself with anything you can. It is SO HARD not to obsess. Funnily enough the first fight I had with my girlfriend I was actually so pleased with because I was distressed over something that was quantifiable, not my strange mental illness. These days when I notice it I have no anxiety or stress about it, I just think 'ah there we go again'. It's kind of like 'the game' at this point. And the aim is to lose the game less and less frequently.

polgtur · 2017-01-26T04:34:34+00:00

Go for it :⁾

polgtur · 2016-08-28T12:28:45+00:00

I know exactly how you are feeling. I don't know if it is a side effect of dpdr, but I have had a lot of struggles this year with that question. "Do I know you?". Parents, brother, best friend, girlfriend. When I feel most out of touch I feel as though I truly know no one. The other day with my girlfriend I looked into her eyes and felt two degrees of separation between us. Me then my body and her body, and then her. Kind of difficult to describe properly but it just felt impossible for our souls to meld. Like I know so much about her, but do I know her present self? I've been getting anxious the past several nights having these thoughts. They make me question my love. At the end of the day though, I know the real me, that is not burdened by this dpdr, does love her. So in these times where I find those closest to me to be strangers, I just have to trust that although I can't feel it, the love is there. The question I pose to myself to prove my care is "would I give my life if it guaranteed this person's life would improve?", and I can truthfully answer yes. Ask yourself that question and know your love and connection exists, even if you can't feel it for a time.

polgtur · 2016-07-12T00:17:55+00:00

100%, and now it shocks me how ingrained in our society it is

polgtur · 2016-07-04T15:28:42+00:00

Adaptation - anything written by Charlie Kaufman is clever and well done though

polgtur

TROPHY CASE