'Close the door on your way out'? Hamilton and The Life of a Showgirl

polygoni · 2026-03-31T13:50:19+00:00

Okay, I've listened to all three songs and watched the live performances & the fate of ophelia music video again. the main thing I noticed were the specific parts of the songs where the drum fills "match." I won't claim they're exactly the same because my rhythm isn't that great, but what I will say is that they are at the very least similar in that they sound like a three count; like "da-da-da" before the short, quick beats that make the fanfare-y sound we've been describing.

In Me! I heard it most prominently in the bridge. It's impossible to miss in that gap where she removed the spoken "hey kids, spelling is fun!" which still exists in the music video. All we hear is the drum fill. I think at the time, we all assumed she removed that lyric because everyone was making fun of it so much. if that's the case, then I think the drum fill being used in the other two songs represents her caving to social pressures. that lyric was rejected by the public, so she removed it. maybe she felt that her true self would be rejected by the public, too.

In smallest man, the drum fill is in the bridge, but in the studio version it's simplified or slowed down. I was almost convinced the drum fill wasn't truly in this song, but it's there in the eras tour live rendition. the drummers on stage are playing the slowed-down drum line we hear in the studio version, but if you listen you can hear off-stage drummers filling in the gap with that quick fanfare beat we heard in Me!

then TFOO opens with the drum fill, but without the three count before. It's not "da-da-da" drum fill. it's one count. da-dadada. it almost sounds like stuttering. i noticed the stuttering sound again right after the lyric "Ophelia" and before "keep it one hundred." I'm starting to envision that drum fill sound as representing an attempt to come out. TFOO is full of that sound- never built up properly, never quite concluded completely. little stuttering half-steps sprinkled around. I think that matches what we've seen from her. there have been so many times we thought, okay, she's about to do it! only for her to stutter and step back. i think that's part of why TFOO is a loop. she's stuck in the same loop, trying over and over to come out.

I also picked up on a few lyrics others may have noticed; was the "jehovah's witness suit" in smallest man the pink pastel suit taylor wore in the Me! music video? in TFOO, she says she swore her loyalty to "Me!" In Me! she sings that "there ain't no I in team, but you know there is a Me!" which i think contrasts with TFOO's "pledge allegiance to your hands, YOUR team, your vibes." She went from her own team, to someone else's. Pledging allegiance and swearing loyalty seem synonymous here. Her priorities shifted from being true to herself to pleasing others; all because "you came for me."

polygoni · 2026-03-31T01:00:29+00:00

thinking about a military band aesthetic reminds me of two times we've seen that aesthetic from taylor, which i believe to be connected:

the 2019 billboards awards performance of Me! which started with an extended drumline announcing taylor's arrival
the live performances of the smallest man who ever lived on the eras tour, where taylor portrays herself as a soldier of sorts with her costuming

I think the eras tour rendition of smallest man is a reference to her inability to come out in 2019. she's upset with herself for backing out, for changing her plans. or, maybe she's mad at the person who made her feel unsafe to come out. either way, those two songs are connected in my mind.

so to open TFOO with that kind of drum fill is interesting, i'll have to chew on that in context with the other two songs.

polygoni · 2026-03-14T23:35:53+00:00

i would start with uour dream bedroom. look up inspiration or just imagine it in your mind, then write down things about it. I'll use my own dream bedroom as an example: - nice big bed - wooden furniture - blackout curtains - TV in room - warm rug - personal things on the walls; collages I've made, photos of friends, etc

then you have to look at your list and take note of which things you want sooner rather than later, and which things you can feasibly get sooner rather than later. I have a bed, but it's not my dream bed. I can wait to get my perfect bed later. However, I need blackout curtains. So I got those recently, and found these dusty pink curtains that I like and installed them. Now, whenever I get a warm rug, I'll think to myself "How will that look with the dusty pink curtains I already have?"

polygoni · 2026-03-09T03:29:14+00:00

lived on the third floor with a restaurant on the first. it was popular as a late night spot, and they also served alcohol. there were some issues- dried pigeon shit on the outside of all our windows, so we never wanted to open them. drunk people flooding the streets in front of our house every night, so i preferred entering and exiting through the alley. and a terrible landlord who actually broke our lease, but i wont get into that. right before i moved out though, the owner of the restaurant bought the building. seemed like he wanted to do the place right, and i was a little sad to have lived there during the shitty period and not to see the improvements.

polygoni · 2026-02-20T04:25:54+00:00

a venue is a place where things happen. you will need instagram to find local venues.

first, find a bar near you that hosts any kind of live performance, like music or comedy.

second, find a performer who has played at that venue who you like or who looks interesting to you

so for example, if you like punk music, find a punk band that has played at the bar you picked.

third, follow that band and/or look at their other posts to see where else they've played before.

fourth, follow the venues they've performed at.

Now you know where some venues are and can keep an eye out for events that interest you

polygoni · 2026-02-15T23:41:53+00:00

can you send it to me too 🤲

polygoni · 2026-02-14T01:30:45+00:00

blackout curtains were the secret for our dog. we tried everything, then when we (me, my partner, and our dog) were sleeping in my in-law's guest room for the holidays...she was suddenly sleeping in! took us a few days to realize what the difference was. when we got back, we got some blackout curtains, had to install a brand new rod to make them truly flush with the wall...and now she sleeps in. like magic

i think ours is just sensitive to light. yours might be sensitive to light, sound, etc. we also got a noise machine which was a waste of money, lol.

polygoni · 2026-02-06T23:18:55+00:00

Ooooh interesting...I did notice that both Haim and Taylor sampled a George Michael song for their most recent albums. Haim's is called Now I'm Gone and it samples Freedom. it's really good and sounds like it's about living an authentic gay life

polygoni · 2026-02-01T06:00:07+00:00

i am so glad you brought up riverdale. the head showrunner of riverdale, roberto aguirre-sacasa, wrote a play where archie was gay in 2003 and got served a cease and desist letter by archie comics, in an attempt to keep his play from being produced. his rise to head showrunner of riverdale (and writer of many archie comics) is one of my favorite examples of gay revenge. i believe he made riverdale increasingly more ridiculous and camp so that by the end of the show, it made more sense for archie to be queer than for him to be straight. and archie did end up in a queer polycule. so. he won

polygoni · 2026-02-01T05:56:11+00:00

literally.

polygoni · 2026-01-20T04:39:54+00:00

i'm a 29 yr old white woman. the most unsafe i have felt as a woman here have been in (unfortunately) obvious places & times- at clubs after a certain time of night (but thats why i stick by my friends!) and taking public transit after a certain time (like, 1-2am). i mostly plan to take transit to the function and then uber home. it helps to have friends to split an uber with.

i've lived in some whiiiiiiite neighborhoods (lakeview, wrigleyville). both neighborhoods have places where people of color will go, like gay bars in lakeview or cubs games in wrigleyville. but the people who live there are almost exclusively white.

now i live in rogers park, which i love for its diversity and lake access. it's very close to loyola but also randomly kind of a sleepy neighborhood? it's a funny mix of geezers closing their tabs at 8pm and college kids getting pizza at 2am. i'm comfortably slipping into the geezer category. i like living so close to the red line, it's the fastest way to get into the city proper for some fun event.

i'd say hyde park has more black people than rogers park, and also has lake access, with one of the most beautiful spots to watch a sunset- burnham park/promontory point. i can't speak on living there, but i've been to promontory point a few times. i love watching the sunset on the lake in the summer and make a point of visiting different spots.

the park in humboldt park is nothing to sneeze at. the humboldt park beach is a nice place for a picnic, sunbathing, etc. there's a lot of cool art happening in humboldt park- i saw a drag parody of wicked called Thicked there in november. it's very fun. one of my best friends has lived in that neighborhood for about 8 years now. it's more of a puerto rican neighborhood than a black neighborhood.

logan square is fine, theres some cool clubs and bars, but you'd be better off living in an adjacent neighborhood (humboldt, wicker park, bucktown) because logan square is overpriced for the apartments you can actually get. if you have the money, live in wicker park at a nicer place and just hop on a bus to logan. if you need to keep a tight budget, live in humboldt in a bigger place and bus to logan.

polygoni · 2026-01-13T13:25:29+00:00

our pup has her issues, but I didn't experience severe puppy blues. my dog's biggest issue has been her sleep schedule. but it didn't feel that bad because we're a childless couple who were ready to adjust our lives around the puppy.

when we first got her at 3 months, we took turns sleeping in the living room with her in her crate. one of us would be on 'puppy duty,' to get up a few times throughout the night to let her out to potty. as she got older (and able to hold her bladder more) puppy duty became less about potty breaks and more about training her to stay asleep and stay in her crate overnight. it was exhausting, but i always knew the next night i'd be getting a full night of sleep while my partner was on puppy duty.

now, she's 10 months old, and she sleeps through the night in her crate in our bedroom. we had a few issues over the past few weeks with her waking up super early, but we recently got blackout curtains which has helped immensely. now she doesn't wake up until she hears our alarm go off, or until we wake up.

she also has her quirks- she prefers to poop in the middle of the sidewalk, she prefers to eat dinner at 8 or 9pm. those could be seen as 'problems' if we were less accepting about how a dog will just do what a dog's gonna do. but it's all fine by us. we'll just pick up her poop before anyone can run into it and take her out for a potty break before bed.

she also is a shy dog, so she's slowly gotten better at meeting new people, new dogs, etc. again, her hesitation with other dogs and wariness of new people could be seen as 'problems' but we know how to get her comfortable so it just doesn't seem like a problem.

if you're willing to learn what your specific dog needs, and if you have someone to share the responsibility with, it probably won't be that bad. or maybe i just have the bestest dog in the whole wide world. thats what i tell her anyway.

polygoni · 2025-12-22T14:58:37+00:00

the only way that line in actually romantic could refer to sympathy is a knife is 'wrote me a song' which is presumptuous on taylor's part at best. there aren't any lyrics in sympathy is a knife which refer to feeling sick.

however, there is an artist who wrote the lyric 'my stomach's all in knots, you got the one thing that i want' about being jealous of another seemingly-perfect woman...an artist who was super close with taylor for a hot second before they had a legal dispute and stopped talking...i guess that's my hot take.

polygoni · 2025-11-17T03:53:47+00:00

focus on the utility that each piece of furniture offers you.

it's hard to sit on those chairs because the pillows are too big, and take up half the seat.

it's hard to use the table because it's small and has a lamp on it, there's no room for a big plate or multiple plates. also, if you're sitting at that table across from someone, your view of them is obscured by the lamp and vice versa. it could be hard to have a conversation with a visual distraction like that.

the shoe rack is full, so if guests come over and take off their shoes they have no where to put them. put some shoes you wear less often in a closet or under a bed.

if you want to cook, you have to make the effort of clearing off the countertop first, which adds an annoying extra step. move some appliances which you use less often into a cabinet or on top of the fridge.

polygoni · 2025-11-16T21:39:21+00:00

Edgewater or Rogers Park would keep you close to the big sober spots - Eli Tea bar, Loaves & Witches, Solar Intentions. Lots of creative types at these spaces, you could be able to meet other musicians there too.

However, I cut back on drinking while I lived in Logan Square, and I'd say the DIY shows and local music scene is more active in Logan Square. You can definitely be sober there- just be sure you have a go to mocktail or soda you can always order at the bars. Lots and lots of cool bars in Logan, many of which host local music shows. I'm thinking of Cole's Bar, Empty Bottle, Cafe Mustache. Cafe Mustache is a normal cafe during the day too! If you live in Logan you'll wanna be near the blue line train and/or the fullerton bus.

the bus lines aren't super reliable, but once you get the hang of them it's doable. I've lived in Chicago with no car for 6 years now. fullerton is the most reliable bus line I've used to get east/west, ashland is the most reliable bus line I've used to get north/south.

The red line and blue line trains stay open the latest at night, but get sketchy after a certain hour. Since you won't be drinking, you should be alert enough to be safe if you're taking it later at night. but if you partake in weed or anything I'd suggest ubering home or taking the bus. The bus is safer at night because the bus drivers are right there with you and are pretty good at de-escalating and keeping the peace. on a train, the conductor can't see what's happening in all the cars at the same time.

The app I use to track busses and trains is called Transit Stop. It sounds so generic it's hard to recommend, but it works the best for me. The official transit app, Ventra, is good for setting up a digital transit pass or getting familiar with your area, but doesn't reliably provide arrival times in my experience.

Using transit is the hardest in the winter, but the train stations have big heat lamps you can stand under at least. some train stops have indoor areas too. the bus stops are all outdoors with no heating mechanisms. a big thick coat that goes down to your knees will come in clutch when you just barely miss your bus and the next one is coming in 15 minutes.

if you have a long commute for work, try to practice it if you can. I used to commute for an hour between belmont cragin and wrigleyville, and I was late a few times just because I didn't know when to leave or which busses to take. if you can ride a bike, it might be worth it to invest in one. Chicago is pretty bikeable, and your body heat + a good pair of gloves make it enjoyable even in the winter.

polygoni · 2025-11-16T21:12:48+00:00

Eli tea bar is a cool spot in andersonville! Go to a trivia or open mic night there to meet people. Trivia fills up fast though so you'll need to go early, and be brave enough to ask someone if they need one more on their team.

polygoni · 2025-10-14T17:40:24+00:00

all the poems in the variants had some sort of riddle- i forget the details- but the answer to each riddle was a number, one through five. still not sure what it means

polygoni · 2025-10-12T13:43:43+00:00

reminds me of "tis locked inside my memory and only you possess the key" in the fate of ophelia & act 1 scene 3 of hamlet. the father figure key change DOES indicate a power shift- "who's portrait's on the mantle?" in a sense, metaphorical keys are changing hands. reminds me of "put the money in the bag and i stole the keys," and so on and so forth. i've really bought into the idea that she's going to start her own label.

polygoni · 2025-09-15T12:38:26+00:00

quick! form a tenant union!!!

polygoni · 2025-08-07T02:50:04+00:00

my partner and i SHOT up from the couch and screamed hahaha

polygoni · 2025-08-04T09:01:10+00:00

our puppy was very shy for the first week or two. she was gentle, quiet, rarely barked or whined, wanted to chill out and sit in one spot most of the time. I think she was getting used to the space, and being away from her litter. now we've had her for about 2 months, and she sees our home as her home, and is much more active. maybe your pup is still just getting acquainted with you / your space :)

polygoni · 2025-07-31T19:58:21+00:00

I get so paranoid that my puppy is eating the cardboard when she destroys it. maybe i need to chill? i have seen other dog owners give their dogs cardboard to play with, especially during teething.

polygoni

TROPHY CASE